EBF, bottle refusing 9mo, and Hen Do.

[LillyBugg]

I'm invited to a Hen in a few weeks time. My DS absolutely will not take a bottle. Ive tried everything. How long realistically do you think I can leave him for without having milk? He eats well and happily drinks water from a cup. The Hen is a couple of hours away, I've already skipped out on the overnights. First activity is 11am so I'm thinking I can easily get there for then. But then dinner is booked in the evening, I'm going to have to miss that aren't I?
For context, I do feed overnight but more to get DS back to sleep than anything. He can go from bed time until about 5am without milk if I put in the effort worth shushing and patting. But it doesn't result in more sleep so I don't usually bother. So at night he can do about 10 hours with no milk before I cave and feed him. Day time he still feeds every couple of hours.

I would just go to the dinner. If he won’t take a bottle he can drink milk from a cup and catch up once you’re back. He may not go to sleep until way past bed time but never mind, it’s only one night.

Thanks for your view jesuis, I do wonder if I'm a bit of a soft touch sometimes and actually he would be fine without me. But he's my baby! I would also quite like to go to the dinner though, the bride is a good friend of mine.

Anyone else?

I went to a hen do when my bottle refusing baby was 6 months, just weaning and it was hard going for his dad (one overnight) but at nine months I would happily left him all day and overnight with my mum. Sounds like your little one has more feeds than my son but one day at this age isn’t going to be an issue - plenty of Greek yogurt and try milk in a cup as pp suggested and he’ll feed when you’re back. My husband could always settle my son better at night too - i night weaned around 9 months and sent my husband in when the baby woke up, didn’t take long at all.

I don’t think you sound soft by the way, perfectly natural but sometimes the thought of something is worse than the reality.

Thanks user. I think DH could be in for a reality check on just how demanding this little one can be! He loves his boobs.
Maybe I should try my milk in a cup over the next few weeks and see how he gets on. I would feel a lot happier about being away longer if I knew he was having some milk somehow.

I think sometimes babies are more open to milk from anything other than breasts when mum isn’t there. Dd point blank refused a bottle or cup if I was at home, but would happily drink milk if I wasn’t there. So you might be pleasantly surprised! Try the milk in a cup before you go, and even if he doesn’t drink a lot while you’re gone it’s only a short time, he won’t come to any harm.

Could your DH and baby come too and stay somewhere close by? He could bring the baby to you when he needs a feed. That's what my bridesmaid did at my hen do, it worked fine and no one really noticed.

You may get some success from a bottle if you're not there - sometimes it's just because they know what they prefer is available but not offered so they wait and cry TIL it is ... if it's just your husband and child and a bottle he may have more success
Go!

We've tried milk when I'm not around and unfortunately he's a stubborn one! Although to be fair we haven't tried in a while now.
That is a good idea random but unfortunately it's just not practical, we have 2 DS's and for the sake of some breast milk I'm sure DH would look at me like I'm mad. He's very much in the 'he will be fine, even go overnight if you want' camp!

I don’t think you sound like a soft touch either, I always feel worried about leaving my dc. When dc1 was about 9 months we went out for an evening and left her with a babysitter. We came back and she was asleep in the babysitter’s arms, having no milk and a very late bedtime. Your DH will manage. He can keep ds busy during the day and then bed time may be a struggle but as I said, it’s a one off.

I was on your other thread about sleeping and I think you are in need of a very well deserved day and night off.

Ah thanks jesuis. I'm sure you are right. The break would be lovely! Like you say. It's only one night. And he's not going to starve. I just need to get my head around that to make sure I still enjoy myself and don't spend the whole time worrying.

I am confused by this thread but it is probably me.

If your DS will drink water from a cup then why can't he drink milk from a cup?

If your DS has not had a bottle until now then surely it is better not to introduce one now at 9 months

Persian it's not that he can't drink milk from a cup. It's that he won't. There is a big difference. And it's all very well saying don't introduce a bottle at 9 months but then what do I do when I want or need to be away from him from any significant amount of time and he has no milk?

Who has tried to give him the milk in a cup, you or other adults?

I only ask because many children won't take milk from their mother in anything other than her boobs.

Does your DS have any other types of milk than breastmilk, for example follow-on milk?

Perhaps your DS will not accept breast milk unless it is from you?

Maybe you could see if he would drink another type of milk from a cup or bottle?

I have tried, different bottlers, different cups, different people, different locations and different times.
He has no other milk other than what is in food and breast milk direct from source.
To be fair I haven't tried a cup recently so I will try that and see if it works now that he is more used to drinking water.

Honestly, I'm less concerned about getting milk into him in other ways, and more interested in how long people think it would be okay to leave him for with no milk. But I do appreciate the efforts!

I had the same problem with my EBF daughter who is now 8.5 months, can you do a trial day before the hen do? If DC knows how to use a sippy cup then leave them with someone with expressed milk/ ready made formula and go out! That's the only thing that worked with my daughter, I had a KIT day so left her with mum for 5 hours with a tommy tippee sippy cup and formula and she had milk when she was hungry! Other than that if dc is feeding well they can go a while without milk, just perhaps offer a few more dairy based meals/ snacks like yoghurt or custard

Thanks... hen do been and gone though! He refused milk all day in all receptacles. I was gone 14 hours. He was very unsettled but he had slept on and off. Took him into bed with me when I got in and he nursed on and off all night. Although that is totally normal behaviour.