How do I night wean 10.5mo?!

[FourForYouGlenCoco]

Just that really.
Tried it a couple of weeks ago (cuddles, shhing and bum patting til he went back to sleep) and it was a complete disaster. He woke up exactly the same (~3hrly from 7.30pm-7.30am) and screamed his head off for 30+mins every time. Gave up on night 4 when there was still zero improvement.
Since then, we've managed to drop daytime bf so he's on bottles 9.30am, 2.30pm, bedtime (7.30pm) but doesn't take a huge amount. He eats well, 3 meals a day, loves water and drinks lots of it.
I'm really ready to stop bf now but I just don't know how to night wean. The daytime transition was ok but he wasn't comfort feeding like he does overnight. Do I have to just accept that there will probably be a lot of crying? How did other people do it?
DH is around but relatively useless in this area tbh - tends to go for the easy (for him) option, ie handing him straight back to me. He will be willing to do a couple of night shifts at the weekend if I really push him though.

Bump - any help appreciated!

I feel your pain! I was so weak with not giving in to the cries for (completely unnecessary) milk at nights. My daughter is older, but we've just decided to tackle it, and what worked for us was me not going through at all in the night. My husband went through every time, and said "mummy's sleeping, you'll have milk at breakfast" then cuddled her and sang until she drifted off again. After two nights she'd all but given up bothering, as she didn't want cuddles and doesn't need milk. We're now about two weeks in, and for the last...8-9 days she's slept from 7pm til 6:30am without a peep. It's unbelievable! I honestly didn't think it was possible, as she was seriously addicted to the comfort of a night feed, and I was so weak when it came to listening to her cry with my husband, and I'd go running through to calm her, but after the first night (and a 45 minute fussing session in his arms), the longest she fused with him for was five minutes, and then she would just settle with him.

It was unreal!

Perhaps you could agree with your husband that he could do maybe a week where you don't go through at all and he steps in? Would that change things enough for your son to realise it's a different routine now, and to not bother if he's not getting fed?

I hope you find something that works for you (without having an extra year of it like I did!). Good luck!!

(I think I just wrote the longest sentence I've ever written! Change some of the commas to full stops as you read it, and hopefully it'll be easier ;)