How to stop breastfeeding an older baby.

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I would like to stop feeding my 20 month old DD, she is heavily reliant on bf though and will still happily feed all day. She has no resemblance of routine and also latches on all night to sleep!
I'm not sure how to stop though, my other children all took a bottle as well as breast milk but she won't and she's too old for a bottle now anyway.

Is stopping turkey dangerous or is weaning the best way to do it? She doesn't have set feeds so I can't just drop one.
I don't think the don't offer/ don't refuse thing will work because she asks non stop.

I'm wondering if she's too young to understand if I just fed her at bed time and first thing or would that confuse her because she's was allowed but only sometimes if that makes sense?

Doing the same here...21 month, he's been feeding constantly day and night when I'm at home, waking from 3am and feeding until morning. I couldn't carry on, he had his had down my top trying to hoik out a boob every 5 mins. I work full time so I'm exhausted and whilst I don't mind feeding a couple of times a day I can't do the nights. So we used a sleep consultant online, got good advice about routine and now he's down to a feed at 7am and one for bed. At night I'm now trying no milk when he wakes, which he's only been doing once. It's not been easy though, I've had to keep the goal in sight and remember why I'm doing it. His routine included lots more food, but less grazing, gradually cutting down to 3 feeds a day then 2. Lots of distraction. We are getting somewhere after 8 days, over Xmas when I've been at home. Today he even laid down for a cuddle with me without asking for a feed, which was actually lovely. My dd carried on feeding morning and evening for ages and understood, she stopped of her own choice though at 18 months or so. He is a different matter though! I've found when he asks I realise he just wants a drink, we're dairy free so I just got in his favourite coconut milk and yoghurt and have been getting loads of that into him, plus just not sitting down too much as that's when he swoops...
Nights are less easy though, but basically we treat any waking as bedtime before 7 and I don't feed. There's been a lot of crying whilst holding and cuddling but he's gradually getting it. We did night weaning about 4 months ago successfully in a week but then he got I'll and I just fed him when he woke. Not this time! He is do much happier during the days as he's sleeping more and not constantly overtired.
Good luck!

Thank you! She's not been fed at all today, DH is off work for 6 more days so I figure this is a good time to do it. She's got to grips with a regular plastic cup so we're offering her water or cows milk when she's asking for a bf, she's quite happy to help herself though which I will struggle with at night because I am a heavy sleeper so she elder from a young age to just pull my pj top up and latch on herself, if I try and gently unlatch her she bites me!

We'll that's great! Every little bit of progress. Things change so much though I find, it's good to keep track as you might find it changes over time. Re the night, we had to move him into his own room at 16 months and stop bringing him into bed as it wasn't helping. But there's lots online about cutting down feeding in the family bed, Google jay Gordon night weaning. Plus I just wear a high necked pj top and when I go in to him I just say milks gone to bed now, in the morning etc then cuddle him and lay him down a lot. And repeat. Again and again. 1.5 hrs this morning at 3am. But he then woke at 7.30! After 5am starts for nearly 2 years this was lovely....it's just what you're willing to put up with I guess. At 21 months or so I think my ds is more than capable of understanding during the day, but at night his need for milk is greater!

I dropped one feed a week, lunchtime, teatime, breakfast time, bedtime. The night I dropped the bedtime feed I just said "we're sitting on DD's bed and reading a story." He was fine with it, I felt a bit insulted!

I think I've read about people wearing swimming costumes to bed to prevent the 'help myself' toddler. Might be worth a try OP?!

OP ~ I came on here to ask the same question as you. My DD has just turned 2 and shows no signs of wanting to stop BF. I feel it's much more for comfort though. I'm going to research into stopping BF as even though I enjoy it too, being constantly woken through the night is killing me!! If I find anything useful, I'll post again.

Good luck.

I could have written your exact post! Am also wondering how to stop..this is dc3 22 months..
number one was pretty easy and took a bottle she was still younger, dc2 was 20 months, went cold turkey(once down to night feeds only) and it took three nights but was v traumatic wouldn't do that again..
So don't really know what to do now! Think I will try first of all to cut out the day feeds..
Are yours drinking milk otherwise? He just spits it out..
Maybe we should have a support thread!

Watching with interest for any tips for night weaning.

Best advice I've had is to say things like "you can have milk after you've eaten/drunk x y or z"
"You can have milk after we get home/ after 10 mins etc etc"

Most of the time milk was forgotten about when it came to it!

This helped me to reduce frequency of day time feeds and take some control (like you OP I have one that would happily be on and off boob all day) she's now in a predictable routine with it which for now we are both happy with.

My next step is going to be "you can have milk until I have counted to 10" and gradually reduce.

However I am totally lost with how to tackle bed time/overnight.

Watching with interest for any tips for night weaning.

Best advice I've had is to say things like "you can have milk after you've eaten/drunk x y or z"
"You can have milk after we get home/ after 10 mins etc etc"

Most of the time milk was forgotten about when it came to it!

This helped me to reduce frequency of day time feeds and take some control (like you OP I have one that would happily be on and off boob all day) she's now in a predictable routine with it which for now we are both happy with.

My next step is going to be "you can have milk until I have counted to 10" and gradually reduce.

However I am totally lost with how to tackle bed time/overnight.

Glad I saw this - am looking to wean by BF 2 year old. She only feeds breakfast & bedtime. I think morning will be ok but dreading the bedtime one. Bought a Frozen cup & was going to fill with warm milk & offer instead as a big girl special drink in special cup thing. Other than that have no clue where to start :( how will i comfort her/help her off to sleep? Any advice greatly apreciated.

We've managed day one of reduced daytime feeds (still had one for his nap) he basically harassed me all day and I couldn't sit down but managed to fend him off! He also ate better meals than he had in ages (although had just got over being poorly)
Felt stressful but glad Day 1 is done he was feeding aaaaalllll the time and it's just too much..

No idea on the bedtime..trying to remember my other two.. one I think weaned onto bottles of cows milk at 20months so probs had that Going to bed.. the other was a nightmare to get to sleep lots of shushing patting etc etc I seem to recall.. she was younger tho more like 14momthd