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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breastfeeding toddler has become painful.

21 replies

ArriettyMatilda · 18/10/2016 08:32

Dd is 2.9 years old and for the past six months breastfeeding feeding has become painful. I've tried different positions and it doesn't seem to make a difference. The problem is she latches on with her top teeth and I have four teeth indents midway up my aereolas. She doesn't appear to be teething and obviously she managed to breastfeed with teeth from about 8 months old. Please don't tell me to wean, it isn't the right time for her and so far she's dropped feeds without my input. So far I've just been struggling through the 2-4 feeds a day. I've tried re latching her, but it makes minimal difference. She can't seem to open her mouth anyway wider or feed without using her top teeth. How can I get it to be more comfortable?

OP posts:
TheHubblesWindscreenWipers · 18/10/2016 08:36

Following! My one year old is doing this.

dalmatianmad · 18/10/2016 08:38

At 2.9 don't you want your dd to be off the breast and be an independent little girl??

melibu84 · 18/10/2016 08:40

Please don't tell me to wean

Sounds like it's time though. She's nearly 3, and she's literally bitting your boob lol

WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup · 18/10/2016 08:43

Any breastfeeding support groups near you? Sounds like she's fallen into a lazy latch. It might be something really easy to fix.

dalmatianmad · 18/10/2016 08:45

I didn't tell her to wean, I asked if she thought it may be time, at nearly 3 she will be getting all of the much needed nutrients from food Confused

Mishaps · 18/10/2016 08:47

"Please don't tell me to wean" - why not when it is clearly the right way forward? Mothers BF until it is clear that the time is right to stop - all the signs are there that this moment has arrived. .."it isn't the right time for her " - but maybe it is and you are finding it hard to accept; maybe it is not the right time for you.

Let her break free now.

I remember that time when my last child had her last BF and I felt a bit sad - but only for a minute.

Parenthood is a slow series of letting go moments; this is just one of them.

Clickclickclick · 18/10/2016 08:47

I had the same with ds at almost exactly the same age. I distracted him when he wanted a feed and our feeds dropped from on demand to twice a day, once a day and then once every other day. I haven't fed him in a few weeks now. You ask him where the milk is and he'll still point at my chest though Smile . We've had no tears. It sounds like it might be time for your little girl too.

WalrusGumboot · 18/10/2016 08:49

Paracetamol?

In your position I'd be replacing at least half the feeds with other activities. Six months is a long time to put up with that!

Mortgagedilemma · 18/10/2016 08:52

This is exactly why I stopped breastfeeding DD. It had become painful.

She wasn't bothered in the slightest and it was such a relief to me.

idontlikealdi · 18/10/2016 08:54

Why do you think it isn't the right time for her to wean? It sounds like very naturally it is. 4bf a day that are causing you pain for 6 months??

NerrSnerr · 18/10/2016 09:16

I stopped bf at 2 as it became painful. Luckily she surprised us and wasn't too bothered. She cried the first time I said it's all gone and then just accepted it. 3 months later and she still tells everyone that mummy's milk is all gone.

Gardencentregroupie · 18/10/2016 09:23

WOW! at all the people telling the op to wean! She obviously still wants to breastfeed, her DD wants to or else she just wouldn't do it!

OP I have no great suggestions, are you near a LLL group where you could seek advice? Otherwise de-latch each and every time, and make a game out of opening your mouths as wide as possible.

Original poster
ArriettyMatilda · 18/10/2016 09:25

WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup I've been to the local support group, who suggested a cranial osteopath. I'm worried it won't work and might be expensive. She couldn't observe dd's latch, as dd won't bf on my demand.

Perhaps I should have said don't tell to wean without telling me how or giving me the evidence to say it will be more beneficial for dd to wean (both emotionally and physically). I'm not saying she won't survive without it, of course she has a varied diet, but I've yet to find a food with the immunological properties of breastmilk. In terms of independence, what are you expecting from a two year old? She goes to nursery a couple of mornings a week and is with her Dad all day when I work. She plays independently when I'm busy with at home and with her friends if we are out and about.

Thank you those with helpful suggestions. I do offer alternatives (food, water, playing together, reading). It occasionally works but otherwise it is distressing for her. I want her to wean without tears. It doesn't feel like the right time because of the upset it causes and because she's only just started nursery. As she naturally dropped her night feeds to 0 and some days feeds just morning and night, I don't see why I should force this change on her before she is ready. I certainly don't offer it to her, I'm not why people think I'm doing it for me Hmm

Sorry to use TheHubblesWindscreenWipers as an example, but should she also wean her one year old?

OP posts:
StiginaGrump · 18/10/2016 09:27

Presumably the OP doesn't carry baggage about breastfeeding a 3 year old and knows her child isn't ready to wean. The child isn't leaving teeth marks as a sign of antagonism towards breastfeeding it's just a fit issue.
You might be able to do a version of the exaggerated latch - have a google - sometimes that helps but also see if you have a la leche group around as they tend to have a wider range of ages feeding and more knowledge about positioning.

She will of course stop when she is ready, you can nudge her in that direction when you are ready but there is no need to - found some of the previous posts uncomfortable reading because nursing at 3 is normal and not something a mother's need makes a child do.

Original poster
ArriettyMatilda · 18/10/2016 09:29

Thank you Gardencentregroupie I will look into lll and will try practicing wide mouths.

If dd stopped asking for feeds one day I wouldn't encourage her to do so. That would tell me it's really time.

OP posts:
StiginaGrump · 18/10/2016 09:33

Yeah I wouldn't expect much from cranial osteopathy either

Gardencentregroupie · 18/10/2016 09:40

OP it's hideous but there's an episode of Peppa Pig where they go to the dentist and open their mouths wide for examination, my toddler thinks it's hilarious to copy...

WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup · 18/10/2016 10:35

OP are you on Facebook? There is a group called 'can I breastfeed in it off topic' it has honestly saved my breastfeeding journeys at different times and for different reasons. Full of experts that will have some really good advice for you and none of the judgement Smile

Original poster
ArriettyMatilda · 18/10/2016 17:00

StiginaGrump I agree, this doesn't seem to be a sign that dd is ready to stop, I'm not sure why some pps think it is.

OP posts:
RainbowTortoise · 20/10/2016 19:09

OP if your on fb try the breastfeeding older babies and beyond group, the support there is great.

Sorry about the responses, I have to say quite surprised! Breastmilk still has lots of benefits to your little girl. Have you looked on sites such as la leche or kellymom?

Booboostwo · 20/10/2016 19:59

I'd try the exaggerated latch as well.

Also what position do you feed in? I find when feeding lying down if the upper teeth catch me, pushing DS a little bit higher up solves the problem.

Another idea is to stop her every time she hurts you, ask her to use a wider mouth and relatch.

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