Experienced breastfeeders - advice please! DD2 is 11 months, I've just gone back to work, "trying" to stop bf, having increased night wakings/feedings and going away from dd2 for 4 days- please help I'm knackered!

[hotmamawantstolookgoodinjeans]

DD2 is 11 months today and until last week was bf apart from solids. I started back to work last Wednesday - until Easter for 3 days a week - then I'll see!

DD2 is bf first and last thing - and isn't bothered about bf during the day - but sometimes very rarely will bf mid-afternoon. Drinks water during the day and eats her solids well.

I didn't wean dd2 onto solids until 28 weeks and until then was a good sleeper - but since introducing solids - dd2 actually wakes more! Eh?

I desperately need some unbroken sleep, so last week I started to give dd2 a bottle of formula as her last feed and finished off with a bf to see if this would make her last longer. It's made bugger all difference as she still wakes up 2 or 3 times a night!

I wasn't coping very well emotionally in replacing this feed esp as I had come this far in exclusively bf - and as dd2 isn't sleeping any better I've decided to knock this formula feed on the head and go back to bf. Ideally until dd2 self weans - I think I can cope with this if she only is feeding am/pm.

Was thinking of trying to stop bf - I just can't do it and feel all weepy!

It's really getting me down that dd2 wants feeding during the night - I've tried to leave her sobbing but she really goes on for ages and seems very hungry when I do feed her.

I know dd2 has had an emotional upheaval by me going back to work and her going to nursery so she wants more 'attention/cuddles' during the night - but I need to stop it.

Have I messed my milk supply up by giving her formula feeds as I want to go back to exc bf - at 11 months can my milk supply cope with my messing about - even though dd2 only had 2 feeds anyway?

Also, I am going away for 4 days at the end of March. Assuming I am still bf then, will I be able to stop bf and start again when I come back and do I need to pump whilst away?

Sorry for so many questions - I am really grateful for any input. TIA

I would help, but have no decent advise

advice

I'm sure an experienced bfer will be along, but one thing that I felt I had to say was, do you have a partner/DH?

I think if you can hand over the night wakings to him, then that may be key. She still gets comfort, someone going in to cuddle her, but this is nothing to do with milk and because it's not even you in the room she will know she has no chance!

My ds certainly could physiologically manage to get through the night without a drink at 11 months and I'll bet your dd can too.

My ds went through a phase of waking in the night and DH volunteered to do the nights for a bit; he only needed to do a couple and the waking stopped.....

My advice would be to knock bf on the head. I am a huge supporter of bf but theres a time when we all have to stop. Youve obviously done a great job getting to 11mths but theres no reason your little one couldnt go through the night. I stopped at 7months when I started a uni course. I was only doing am and pm with an exp bf during the day. She didnt really need me it was me who found it hard to stop. I had so much milk it was even harder but I had one night away with hubbie and I deceided that she could mange without me. She soon started sleeping through the night, and my independence returned. I didnt miss the painful boobs and breast pads!!

I think you are amazing to be still doing this many night feeds and working! Don't consider myself an expert but I would really agree that if you have someone else who can go to her in the night you may find that within a couple of nights she will sleep through. All four of mine have done this when I could no longer do 1.5 hourly night feeds (at about 8/9 months!) You could then just carry on with morning and night feeds for as long as you wanted. By the way, do you know that stopping breastfeeding can make you you VERY depressed? I was in a black hole for three or four days each time - partly emotional but also hormonal. Sorry if you already knew this. You may have to face this reaction at some point but maybe not yet. Hope you feel better soon.

Not experienced either, but wanting to bump for you.

I'm fairly sure that 11 months in you can have a four day break without having a drastic impact on your supply, but please check with someone who is absolutely sure.

The 2 ffeeds won't have made a difference to your supply.

I'm guessing that the best approach would be for your dh to take over the night waking for a few nights to try and reduce the waking, but as I'm in a similar situation re night waking, I'm not really in a position to give advice

Don't stop until at least one of you wants to though.xx

Not an expert but have experience of long term breastfeeding. I was at at work at this stage so fed morning and evening and during the night. I found that dd seemed to make up for any lack of milk during the day be feeding at nighttime. We coslept and a lot of the tiome I was barely aware of her feeding.
Yolur supply is established now so I wouldnt worry about taht. As for the four days I would imagine you will need to express as it will be uncomfortable for you if you dont. It shouldnt stop you being able to feed when you come back if you want to.

I think the only way to stop might feeds is to be firm. SHe will cry and it will break your heart but it wont last forever - maybe a few nights of hell.

DS2 is a year old next Thursday - I'm at work fulltime and still night feed - I'll post more later.

Thanks for all your advice so far - but I'm grateful for anymore.

I do have a dp who is supportive, esp in terms me bf for as long as I like. We also have dd1 who is 27 months - and sleeps like an angel (but was only bf for 10 weeks).

I am going to Rome for the 4 day break for my 40th birthday! and was thinking of taking my pump to be more comfortable!

If dd2 is hungry during the night then obviously I will feed her but how do I know that she isn't just fussing? She won't bf more during the day.

Hello there Hotmama,
I am in a bit of the same boat but my dd2 is just 9 months.
Like you working 4 days a week. And she also slept better before solids at 6/7 months.
So can you feed her and sleep at the same time?
Your milk will be fine-I stopped BFing dd1 at 19 months but when she had an ear infection at 21 months I still could feed her.
I too like the idea of self weaning and if the bottle is not helping why not?

Well, last night I dumped the bottle and bf dd2 - and it was fine - so phew don't seem to have messed up my milk supply!

Dd2 still woke up at 1.30 - so brought her into bed for a feed - had a bit of a feed then promptly fell back to sleep.

So I did a bit of an experiment and left dd2 in bed with us - she slept through until 6am and didn't bf - so she obviously can do it!

So perhaps I need to be a bit harder on her and stop bf during the night?

I need to get this sorted for when I go away as my mum will be looking after my dd's.

Any advice - really gratefully received. TIA

I bfed ds for 2 years and towards the end he was only feeding once a day or less. At 11 months you will not have messed with your supply by giving two bottles of formula.

Can you give a bottle/cup of milk to be given during the day if you think she is hungry. If she takes that and eats her solids well during the day and she then also bfeeds am/pm you may feel confident enough to refuse a feed at night.

I night weaned ds very gradually from about 12 months old and I was working 3 days a week too so on those days he didn't breastfeed in the day. When I say I night weaned, I offered comfort and cuddles but no breast milk at night. He did cry and it wasn't easy but after a couple of very difficult nights things got easier and he accepted quite quickly that milk wasn't on offer. One helpful thing I did was get dh on booard and for the first couple of nights dh comforted him. Ds did cry but dh just kept comforting and eventually he settled. The next couple of nights I did the comforting and after that it improved.

The only exception was when he was ill and then he would want to feed again which I did do so we would then have the weaning off again when he was better - sigh!!.

Sorry I can't be more help but it is possible to encourage her not to breastfeed at night though there almost certainly will be quite a lot of crying - however if you ontinue to breastfeed in the day it is possible she will want to feed again at night later (especially if ill) even if she stops now.

Thanks for your message.

Although, dd2 won't bf during the day, she happily drinks water from her sippy cup.

I also give her weetabix with about 5ozs cows milk and she usually has a big Rachel Organics yogurt - which is equivalent to about 7ozs milk. This is in addition to any cheesy sauces etc

I think even if she has 2 bfs a day - then she is definitely getting enough so doesn't 'need' bfs at night - what do you think?

bump

So pleased about last night. You sound like your confidence is back. My view was always that when I got so badtempered due to lack of sleep and total exhaustion I needed to night wean. I was a much better Mummy during the day! I'm sure she doesn't need bf nutrionally during the night. My 16 month old won't drink cows' milk at all but does have yogurt and cheese. He only has three bf a day and sometimes only early morning and last thing if we have been out. He could have more if he asked so I reckon she'll be fine for what that's worth.

You will probably find that your mum has absolutely no problem with your baby whilst you are away.
You may want to take a pump with you, for your own comfort rather than your supply.
It can be haerd when you feel a little bit sorry for your dd about leaving her when you work, try not your perspective.