I'm sure the answer is that I should do what I think is right for me and ds.. BUT...

[mawbroon]

...can anyone give me rough idea how often my 12month old ds "should" be breastfeeding each day. We are currently doing a long feed first and last thing and a quick feed before each nap every day (so that totals four so far) but on other days he might be on and off up to another 4 or 5 times although these other feeds never last long. It doesn't feel like a lot of feeding to me, but when I add it up, 9 feeds a day seems a lot for this age. I say that, but I don't know what I am basing that statement on!! Any time I sit him on my knee, he seems to want to feed and when it is milk time and I do the sign for milk, he chuckles and giggles and can't get latched on quick enough. Is he just an addict?

hehe mb I think that everyone varies

personally I am a bit slack with my 13 month old and probably feed her too much - hmm pretty CONSTANTLY all fecking night and 4-5 times in the day

But she eats really well and looks healthy and chubby - I think that's the main thing

lol@Addict! My DD2 was the same.Got to the point where i felt i was always feeding her. Stopped at 18 mths because it was just getting too much for me day and night.

MP - your dd sounds similar - my ds eats like a horse and is very healthy looking, so no worries there. I don't do many night feeds though, but I do when he is teething/ill and it works a treat. I am also finding that a quick feed during the day also gets rid of grumpiness and I am wondering if I am heading for more rather than less feeds as he turns into a toddler.

I think they love mummy, they can never get enough of their favourite things (being as close to mummy as possible). One day they won't be so cuddly, so if you don't mind, no need to limit it.

mawbroon, what you describe is perfectly normal and absolutely fine so long as you are happy with it. It is mostly comfort rather than nutrition these little daytime feeds but still - there is nothing wrong with that!

From my experience - (feeding dd until she was 2) yes if you allow them to feed whenever they want by day, it is likely to remain at this quantity of feeds or maybe more - but again - there is nothing wrong with that.

If you're happy carry on as you are. If you would rather see things begin to slow down then this can be done gently, by avoiding cuddling in positions that you normally feed and lots of distracting when he is delving down your top.

my dd fed constantly in the night until she was 2 as we co-slept, and also regular feeds during the day until she was about 1 and a half, then i started to do as i say above and distracting/avoiding feeding situations and very slowly over 6mths weaned her off because i felt i wanted it all to stop then and have her sleep in her own bed without 'needing' the comfort feeds. I'm happy with how it all occured because it was such a slow process neither of us were upset when bf finally came to an end.

So to summmarise my waffle! what i'm trying to say is feeding him frequently is fine, but you need to think long term (as you are by asking this question) and be aware that it can take some time to wean back off this amount of feeds. ( i guess there are quicker harsher ways to wean off but i couldn't bring myself to do that!)

flack - he's starting the not so cuddliness already. As soon as he's had his milk then he's out of there like a shot wriggling to get off my knee
Hattie - yes it is more of a long term plan I am thinking of. I love bf and will be sad to stop but I need to think in practical terms too especially if he decides that he wants more feeding, not less! Is the "never offer never refuse" thing for weaning a baby off the breast completely or is it appropriate at this stage when I have no intention of stopping bf?

I think I did the 'never offer, never refuse' thing for feeds during the day with DS1. I kept up offering feeds when I wanted him to feed (i.e. before naps/bed and first thing in the morning so I didn't have to get up so early ). It seemed to do the job, as he got older, he got busier and more involved with his activities, and the daytime feeds stopped.

At 12m, he was demand feeding, but by 18m that had dropped to just morning, nap and bed times, and then by 22m, we were down to just bed times, which we then stopped as I was 22w pg and getting a bit tired. No grief on either side at any point, so I guess we did the right thing for us. Good luck

I think its appropriate to 'slow down' the feeds even though you don't intend to completely give up. Stick with the never offer (other than times you want to) and do refuse when you want to!

I found even making her hang out for another hour or so before letting her feed helped in the process of 'weaning' off. And i also appreciated the fact that i some how taught dd to not 'ask' for bf when we were out anymore, she somehow knew to wait until we got home .