Desperately need advise to stop breastfeeding baby

[Stellamoonlight]

Please help I have no family support and my dh is no help either. I have to stop bf my ds2 for medical reasons. I tried to stop with my ds1 many times between 6 months and 2 years and finally succeeded at 2 years by going cold turkey.

I am so worried it will be the same for ds2, and we will struggle. Already at 3 months he refuses bottles and dummies and finds too much comfort in breastfeeding.

He also feeds several times at night and although I've been trying to not feed to sleep I have been guilty of this when exhausted at night time.

Please can I have some advise about doing this in a calm peaceful way and having success with it. He needs to be fully off breastmilk by 6-7 months at the very latest.

Well, I'd say that the first step is to get him taking a bottle, whether of expressed milk or formula.

I think your DH needs to stop 'being no help' as partners can often have a very central role in that process.

What have you tried so far in taking a bottle. For example:

• from you/from your partner/with you there/with you out of the house;
• warm, room temp;
• formula, EBM;

-different bottles/teats. I know they say slow flow for a bf baby, but DD1 was a bottle refuser. I never tried much, but the only type of bottle she would even slightly tolerate was a fairly fast flow.

• different times of day/when very hungry/when not yet very hungry.

Thank you for your reply. I will try fast flow teats as well.

When I was away for 6 hours he took some very small amounts of bm from a bottle. That is the only time he has taken anything.

Dh not helping is a big issue. He lacks persistence with regards to this and always gives up too early, falling back on me to finish up, ongoing issue in all aspects of our parenting. But I will keep working on him too. Unfortunately he is often working away as well.

Do yo know what age you can introduce a straw cup? The only cup ds1 would ever take as a baby was the straw cup, he refused all bottles and other cups so I'm wondering if a straw cup may work.

Not sure to be honest. Think DD1 had one when I went back to work at 11 months, but not sure how long she'd had it.

Maybe you need to create a situation where your DH can't give up (i.e. you are away for 6 hours doings something with your older son two weekend days in a row or something).

Have you tried formula? I know this sounds weird, but I have a friend whose baby would never take expressed milk. At. All. But would happily wolf down a bottle of formula. it was like it had to be totally different from a bf for him to agree to it.

Please forgive me if my comment is insensitive but are you absolutely sure that you need to stop breastfeeding. Doctors are not always fully up to date or informed about which drugs are and aren't safe when breastfeeding. La Leche league may be able to help you with more relevant information.

I haven't tried formula. I never wanted to give my babies formula until they were old enough for solids but maybe I have no choice. Maybe I will wait till 4 months as that was the traditional age for starting solids and introduce formula then.

Yes I need to stop 100% for me as well as ds2. It is radioactive idoine treatment and I have to stop breastfeeding as the radiation is excreted through breastmilk so my breasts need to be 100% dried up before I am treated or else I am a high risk for breast cancer as well.

I feel your pain!

I tried everything, dd would take a bottle of expressed milk from 2 - 4 months and then refused!!

Only bottle she would try was the NUK with the latex 6 month + teat - tried just about every bottle & teat and this worked best.

I then introduced a bottle of formula at 6 months, just once a day for 2 weeks, and after 2 weeks twice a day. She (actually both of us) hated every second, and in those first few weeks I'm not sure she took more than a couple of oz and there were lots of tears from both of us.

In the end cold turkey was the only way.

After a horrible 24/48 hours she fed, and about a week later she fed without protest.

She's now a happy 9 month old!!

I did try a sippy cup for a week or so, but she hated it.

Best of luck xx

Good luck...I know how hard it is, but it can be done xx

Thank you dancing I know it will be hard but it has to be done.

I am writing up a plan with all these ideas and we will try everything until something works for us.

I had two bottle refusers.
I started with a sippy cup (free flow) at 4 months with expressed milk, and gave this daily, encouraging him to drink it. I think I swapped one bf for the sippy cup at 5 months.

Once I knew they could take 2-3 oz from the sippy cup, I kind of relaxed, thinking that if they were thirsty then they would drink. So I think ds was off bf at 7 months, dd was nearly 10 but she was 9th centile and didn't eat food in any quantity til 8 months.
If they take to food properly (and I didn't wean til 6 months either) you can get lots of milk into them that way.

My mum moved us into sippy cups at 3 months and onto cow's milk at 6 months, incidentally, as that was the advice then.

We used a soft spout sippy cup from 4-5 months for when I was at work. It took a bit of persistence, but it worked and DS never starved while I was out. We used the nuk cup, and I'd definitely recommend it.

I had the same problem with trying to stop and DH was no help. I was told a baby can smell your milk when you are around and so wants you, not the bottle. Do you have friends who can try to give a bottle - say at the same time every day - while you leave the house/hide somewhere far away?

I also tried nipple shaped teats

DD1 stopped naturally around 8 months but DD2 was over 2 yrs...not my choice. i also ended up going cold turkey.

I would continue breastfeeding as long as possible, then choose your plan of action...and persevere with it. Ideally your DH would give the night feeds and be the one to go in to settle your ds - it should only be a few nights before he gets the idea he's not going to get you!

Good luck...

Good luck with your treatment Stella.

Try the variflow teats as well - my DD would take those when she wouldn't accept the fast or slow flow ones, for some reason.

Just on the bottle refusal thing, we started offering a bottle to our DS1 at 3 weeks and he's now taking one at 8 weeks. He's taken one on and off in the last 5 weeks and we've tried everything, I've spent a fortune on different bottles and teats.....but the NUK bottle with latex teat seems to be the best. One thing that's made a huge difference is having the milk warm, even warmer than your milk is naturally. I found this out by accident after warming the milk a bit too much but not enough that it would harm him. He gulped it down....although that does mean DH having to find somewhere to warm it if he's out with him.