4 month old bottle refuser. 12 hours without me - what if she doesn't feed?

[Littlepinkpear]

I have to leave DD in three weeks time from 7am to 7pm. I will be unable to see her at all during this time (flight to other side of UK, 3 hour exam, flight home) its the culmination of 3 years work.

She has refused every combination of bm, formula, bottle, cup, feeder, feeding position, timing I can think of. She screams and screams every time we try.

I am beyond stressed about this. More than the exam. Does anyone have any advice on what I can do to prepare before and afterward? Thanks

She'll take it when she gets hungry enough. I had to leave my DD overnight at a similar age and she refused the bottle all day then finally gave in and guzzled the lot before bed. She then slept through the night for my lucky husband - the one and only time she has ever done that and she's 9 months now!
She took more the following day but not as much as usual. She made up for it when I got back though, all was fine.

Hmmm. It's tricky this. Mine were both bottle refusers and I did just leave them to it, probably not for 12 hours though. She will be fine although I understand that you'd worry. She will probably, at some point during the day, take a little milk somehow. She won't starve or get dehydrated but will be a bit cross.
She will feed like mad when you get home and let her do this as much as she wants as it will help stop you getting sore boobs!
Finally, don't forget to take lots of breast pads with you (and maybe a change of top!) and find time to pump of you can!

Agree with PP. If she really needs it she will take it. Both mine were bottle refusers when they started nursery aged 6 months with 9-10 hour days. Both coped without on days 1 and 2 (and refused solids) and gave in a bit on day 3. Worst case of 12 hours without milk will do no harm - although do your best to give a good feed before you go.

Thanks, she will be left with almost deaf grandparents. I can't take a pump so thanks for the reminder of extra pads! Will spend the few data before feeding as much as possible.

Here's hoping the flight isn't delayed

Yes to breastpads and a scarf to cover any leaks in a crisis. Bring a muslin so you can hand express into that if you get very uncomfortable.

Sure you have probably already considered this but any chance of a friend/mum tagging along? You could pitch it as lovely day out depending on location, and that way you can feed on flight etc and don't have to worry about any delays.

But if that's not possible rest assured your dd will be fine. dd2 is a firm bottle refuser and I've had long days away since she was about that age. Drop by drop feeding is a pita but does the job. I would suggest having a whole load of bottles/cups ready and carton milk so that 1/2 oz can be offered every half hour for example rather that trying a 4oz feed every 4hr.

I had two babies who did not take a bottle, and I have a job where once every month I have to spend a whole day away. For DS2 this started as early as 8 weeks. DS3 was about 3.5mths the first time I did it.

Tis no problem at all. You just need a plastic syringe thingee, the ones you use for medicine. DH, or whoever is caring for baby, feeds the baby slowly using the syringe. Tiny bits at a time. Lots of reassurance to the carer in advance that bub will probably cry and be upset, but that all they need to do is try their best to get in as much as possible. I think DH usually gets about 100ml in each feed this way.

That way baby definitely won't dehydrate. My two were both fine this way. It never caused any major issues. They were hungry as soon as I got home, but that's cool. It is only one day.

Keep trying with a bottle between now and then, she may take it before then. But, stop stressing, the syringe method is a perfectly adequate back-up plan for a one day absence.

Mine are / were bottle refusers so i feel your pain. If you are worried about her getting upset, is there any way you could take your baby with you so that she only misses out on bf for the duration of your exam? Could your mum or someone else come along for the day to watch dc?

I would have thought that your dc will accept the bottle or cup once she is desperate enough but totally understand that it's not a pleasant thought. I think you should definitely take a hand pump if you cannot take dc with you because you risk your breasts getting very engorged which could be painful and stressful, especially if your flight is indeed delayed. Could you do a dry run (no pun!) to see how dc copes without bf?

I left my bottle refusing baby with my sister last week, admittedly not as long as you need to leave your baby for though.

In the end I gave my sister a bottle of EBM and a 20ml syringe - definitely not ideal but I thought that as it was a one off it couldn't do any harm and I didn't really have any other option. DS took the milk from the syringe no problem