how do I keep baby awake enough to feed in night?

Monkeybrain10 · 2014-08-16T06:51:35+00:00

he just falls asleep on my boob....won't be woken by any amount of jiggling, scratching his tummy, feet, blowing on his face etc...nothing works...until.. .i put him back in his bed then...ta da! ....he's magically wide awake!! :-D i often (but not always) get an initial burst of 3-4 hours sleep at the start of the night (usually with the help of a formula feed to top up the bf)...but after that I'm lucky if he'll sleep for an hour...sometimes it's only 20 mins...and it's taking its toll. any advice?

HoldenMcGroin · 16/08/2014 07:58

How old?

Baby not you!

scrivette · 16/08/2014 08:09

I used to do a nappy change which would wake DS up a bit.

Original poster

Monkeybrain10 · 16/08/2014 08:14

6 weeks old. yes...i nappy change too which is guaranteed to get a cry but he still has the incredible ability to fall asleep in seconds of being latched on!
i have totally given in a number of mornings and settled onto the sofa with him just giving him a cuddle not feeding and he'll happily sleep for 2 hours so i think he just wants the body contact.

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hollie84 · 16/08/2014 13:10

He probably just wants to sleep with you rather than needing to feed. I wouldn't bother trying to put him back in his bed.

puntasticusername · 17/08/2014 23:11

Honestly? If putting him down works, then...keep putting him down.

Whenever he loses interest but you think he may not be quite full yet (and only you can judge), put him down on the floor and let him wake up and ask for you again. This phase doesn't usually last long, likely it'll all even out very soon.

Original poster

Monkeybrain10 · 18/08/2014 00:12

puntastic ...he falls asleep on the boob or if cuddled but the second i put him down he wakes or grumbles constantly sticking his fists in his mouth like he's starving!

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returnvisit · 18/08/2014 13:48

Strip down to nappy/ vest, usually works for me.
And what puntastic said.

hollie84 · 18/08/2014 13:51

I would just let the poor little thing cuddle and sleep without all this jiggling and stripping and bothering him.

Philippalc · 18/08/2014 16:20

Hi there. If your baby is gaining weight well and has plenty of wet and dirty nappies he may just be waking because you have put him down. Babies expect to be held and want to be close to you so I think you have hit the nail on the head with the body contact idea. You could try getting a soft baby sling if you need to be up and about. However if you feel your baby needs more milk and is falling asleep before the end of the feed you could try Breast compression as a way to finish each breast before offering the next.

Original poster

Monkeybrain10 · 18/08/2014 22:41

thanks..it's less about the needing to be doing things (yes we have a sling which helps...tho it makes my back ache!) and more what to do in the middle of the night when i want some sleep. all the advice is not to bed share (and we couldn't as my partner is like a
dead weight when he sleeps and he rolls around a lot) but i feel naughty resorting to making a nest on the sofa so both baby and me can sleep (making it as safe as i can for) baby).

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Original poster

Monkeybrain10 · 18/08/2014 22:42

thanks..it's less about the needing to be doing things (yes we have a sling which helps...tho it makes my back ache!) and more what to do in the middle of the night when i want some sleep. all the advice is not to bed share (and we couldn't as my partner is like a
dead weight when he sleeps and he rolls around a lot) but i feel naughty resorting to making a nest on the sofa so both baby and me can sleep (making it as safe as i can for) baby).

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MsBug · 18/08/2014 22:46

Have you tried swaddling (when you want him to sleep)? We used to swaddle dd and warm her Moses basket with a hot water bottle before we put her down.

If all else fails I would sleep with the baby and make your dh sleep on the sofa. Don't cosleep on the sofa as that really isn't recommended.

hollie84 · 18/08/2014 23:18

Please don't fall asleep with your baby on the sofa! That's really dangerous, a lot less safe than having the baby in bed with you, with pillows and duvets away from him. Have your partner sleep on the sofa.

HumblePieMonster · 18/08/2014 23:24

Feeding every 20 minutes is what nature intended. Make your bed safe for him to sleep next to you. Do you have a spare bed? Send your partner to it. Or to the sofa. Sofas aren't easy to make safe.

mrsmugoo · 19/08/2014 01:37

Take your baby into bed with you, but never into the middle, always in your side.

Original poster

Monkeybrain10 · 21/08/2014 07:03

what is so bad about sleeping on the sofa? does anyone know? I'm assuming it's the risk of them falling or being smothered under cushions? i don't understand why putting baby on the edge of the bed is safer? when i sleep with him on the sofa i put him on top of the cushions so he can't roll anywhere and then curl around him so there's nowhere for him to go. it feels safer than having him on the edge of the bed ready to roll out!

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Original poster

Monkeybrain10 · 21/08/2014 07:04

what is so bad about sleeping on the sofa? does anyone know? I'm assuming it's the risk of them falling or being smothered under cushions? i don't understand why putting baby on the edge of the bed is safer? when i sleep with him on the sofa i put him on top of the cushions so he can't roll anywhere and then curl around him so there's nowhere for him to go. it feels safer than having him on the edge of the bed ready to roll out!

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Original poster

Monkeybrain10 · 21/08/2014 07:04

what is so bad about sleeping on the sofa? does anyone know? I'm assuming it's the risk of them falling or being smothered under cushions? i don't understand why putting baby on the edge of the bed is safer? when i sleep with him on the sofa i put him on top of the cushions so he can't roll anywhere and then curl around him so there's nowhere for him to go. it feels safer than having him on the edge of the bed ready to roll out!

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hollie84 · 21/08/2014 07:52

Babies are much more likely to die on sofas than in bed - the cushions are too soft and there is a risk of the rolling/falling down the sides.

Babies need to sleep on firm, flat surfaces with no loose sheets, pillows etc. They should also only sleep next to the person breastfeeding them. If you are worried about them falling out of bed, put the baby in the middle and you sleep on the side - have your partner sleep elsewhere.

MsBug · 21/08/2014 09:22

There is some information about safe cosleeping here

As a pp said, babies should only sleep on firm mattresses with no cushions or pillows or duvets as these can all cause overheating and/or suffocation.

MsBug · 21/08/2014 09:25

We ended up taking the side off dd's cot and attaching it to our bed, this meant that there was no risk of her rolling out of the bed. Unfortunately when she was about six months she decided she only slept between dp and I so the cat moved into the cot

Salahvie · 21/08/2014 11:41

My DS was just like this a few weeks ago, he's now 10 weeks and things have changed a lot. We co-sleep as none of us would get any sleep otherwise. He sleeps on the edge as I was worried about him getting too hit in the middle. As he became more wriggly we got a bed guard so I didn't worry about him falling out.
Anyway, when he kept falling asleep on boob then waking up the moment I put him down, I tried feeding lying down and he would feed then drop off to sleep (and so would I). After a few nights of doing this sometimes just having the boob next to his face would send him straight to sleep! Now he only has 2 or 3 night feeds so I mostly feed sitting up then put him down next to me and he sleeps well. Occasionally he stirs and needs a bit of an extra cuddle.
Moving forward we've just got a cot that we can take a side off to put by the bed. Hoping he will like this as we could do with a bit more space in the bed!
I hope this is helpful.

puntasticusername · 21/08/2014 16:07

Another possibility is that you may have one of those babies, like mine, who has not read the SIDS info and decides he only wants to sleep on his tummy. I spent hours with him after night feeds, holding him and waiting for him to fall into a deep sleep, then trying to put him down on his back and then - wah! Wide awake again! When I finally twigged to putting him down on his tummy, it was life-changing - for the first time ever I could put him down straight after the feed, even if he wasn't yet fully asleep, and he would just happily snuggle into his mattress and drift off. Amazing.

Now, as I say, this is against current SIDS guidelines which say only put babies down to sleep on their backs. So consider it all very carefully before you decide to go against that. For us, it was a balance of risks and benefits - if he didn't sleep on his tummy he had to co-sleep with me. I didn't want to carry on with that as I could never sleep properly with him there, so overall tummy sleeping was actually the lowest risk option. It was better than me getting SO exhausted that I rolled on him and squished him. But you must make your own decision on what's right for you.

puntasticusername · 21/08/2014 16:09

Ps we put him down to sleep in a crib right next to our bed, which again reduces the SIDS risk - not sure I would have let him go on his tummy if he had been in a separate room.