Feeding all night, not interested in the day. Please help

[Imnotbeverley]

I really feel like I can't cope with the sleep deprivation any longer. DS (17 weeks) EBF, is on his 6th wake up of the night. About a month ago he became very distractable during daytime feeds. I have tried feeding in a quiet dark room. No difference. He has also started biting when he's not interested.

At night he feeds really well, and up to 5/6 times. It seems pretty obvious to me that he is getting all of his nutrition at night, he feeds really well then (daytime feeds are pretty non existent- he latches on, suck a few times, bites, gets distracted by NOTHING, cried if I try to get him to feed more etc).

He also only takes 40 min cat naps in the day- 4 of them, so I am dying (it feels like) of so little sleep at night and no opportunity to catch up.

Seriously, I was loving motherhood but now feel really upset as I find myself feeling annoyed with him- I don't want to feel that way towards him.

Am considering formula feeding in the day to try and up his calorie intake, is that a reasonable idea?

Any advice appreciated

This is so common, sympathies! With the biting, try not to react when he does it (hard I know as it kills!), just pull him into the breast so he has to unlatch himself to breathe. Far gentler to him and your poor nipple than pulling him off. Both my boys have bitten whilst teething to try and relieve their discomfort, so consider teething toys, painkillers when needed etc.

Google "reverse cycling" and kellymom for the night time feeding for some more good ideas. For me, the solution is co-sleeping - is this something you've considered?

DD did this. It sucked. Got through it by co-sleeping and learning to feed lying down so I could at least snooze while she got on with it.

Thanks for the replies

You both say that you co slept to get through it- does that mean that it is a phase he will naturally grow out of?

I looked at the kellymom website but was (I guess misguidedly) hoping for solutions rather than strategies to cope! I suppose that means there are none?

Today I have been offering the boob loads, and also feeding to sleep for naps as well as when he wakes. I hope I'm not making life even harder in the long run by feeding to sleep as we haven't previously had to do this. I just thought that his sleepy moments are where he is less distractable and might feed more (my aim being to get more food into him during the day so he's needing less at night!)?

Yes, just a phase. One DD grew out of quite quickly. Encouraging him to feed during the day should help - although he may be waking at night and wanting to feed as much as for comfort as for hunger. I just did what I needed to do to get through it and it all came right in the end.

I would urge you to also check out 'The Wonder Weeks', a book/site/app describing the cognitive leaps all babies go through at the same stage of development. One of the main signs they're going through a leap is the sleep goes tits up. And guess what, 17 weeks is right slap bang in the middle of one.

Personally I think he's not waking in the night so he can feed, it's more likely he's feeding more in the night because he's awake!

You poor thing. I didn't have this but a close friend did with her DS (at a similar age to yours). He came out the other side, but it did take a little while (weeks rather than days I'm afraid).

Feed to sleep if it helps. Honestly, I think the 'sleep experts' terrify us about feeding to sleep quite unnecessarily. Yes there will be babies who find it difficult to break out of the habit but its by no means inevitable. All the EBF babies I know fed to sleep, and they all grew out of it and learned to self settle very naturally. If it helps, do it. I also wouldn't worry that you'll 'break' his sleeping: if he can self settle he'll be able to get back to it: I used to panic when DS was ill/teething and wanted/needed to fall asleep on the breast, scared he'd lose the ability to settle forever. He didn't.

I have the wonder weeks app, and yep, he is right in the middle of one (luckily there are only 19 days left )...

He is developing so much at the moment, I can see that he is changing- has learnt to roll over, pick things up, put them in his mouth, laugh and shriek all in the last 2 weeks.

wave I have no idea whether he is, as you say, just feeding because he's awake! But he's very sleepy at night, and until the birds start chirping he feeds and goes straight back to sleep. All I really know is that he is not interested in feeding in the day.

Appreciate the sympathy giraffe, we are over 2 weeks in now so I am clinging to the idea that the end could be in sight!

Yep DS did this at 4 months. The old four month sleep regression.

Too much of a busy body to feed properly during the day so they make up for it at night. It was just temporary for us.

I got a big nursing shawl from Seraphine when DS was this age so I could keep him covered when nursing and that seemed to help. Others find an eye catching necklace can keep them occupied (you can get special bf ones). Also for DS different positions helped. He preferred lying down beside me as he wanted to be able to move freely.

I know what you mean that cat naps aren't much use to you. DS was a cat napper too but the more mobile he got the better he got at napping.

After I put him down to sleep for the evening I would watch him on the baby monitor. Whenever he stirred as he transitioned through 40 min sleep cycles I would go and offer him dream feeds. He would feed very efficiently at these times. I'd get at least a couple in and then another just before I went to sleep myself. He'd be so full I'd usually get a few hours sleep before he needed a feed.

We also cosleep so made it easier.

This too shall pass!