Help - think I've confused my 2 week old by giving him a dummy :(

[Slh122]

DS is 17 days old and for the last couple of days we've been giving him a dummy on the advice of the midwife to settle him when he's crying and doesn't want a feed.
I was confident that we had a good latch established otherwise I would never have given him one.
Today he's been fussing at the breast all day - he latches on, feeds for about a minute then delatches and cries. Repeat and repeat.
I feel awful and am so worried I've ruined breastfeeding forever. Have I confused him? :(

He's hungry and trying to latch on but he won't and is crying hysterically. What can I do? :(

Pop dummy in, hold him close to breast while he calms down and then slide dummy out and breast in.

DP is here but he's being unhelpful. I've just given him DS to change and told him we're not allowed to give him dummies anymore now and he's told me to 'shut up'.

He's already had his growth spurt and today we've been feeding every 2 hours.

Thank you very much will try that now

Oh no how stressful for you. I would strip him down (in a warm room) and so you are skin to skin. This calms some babies down. You could also try hand expressing a few drops on to the end of your nipple, playing some white noise, feeding in a different position.

I'd def give a BF helpline a call first thing and your MW this eve if he doesn't latch on.

Promise it gets easier. You won't have ruined breastfeeding

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Three of my four had dummies very early on (the other was a thumb sucker instead) and all breastfed for a long time so I doubt you've ruined breastfeeding. Babies can get fussy for many reasons -DC4 was terrible for having a fussy few days every couple of weeks. As the others have said, plenty of snuggles, skin to skin and access to the breast and I'm sure you'll all be fine

Arghhhh MIL has just turned up (at 8 o fucking clock) and DP has taken him out to 'calm him' - ie pass him round his family!

No he's crying again and fussing on my boobs. He latches on and sucks for a few minutes (and I know he's getting milk because I can hear him swallowing) and then delatches and starts crying and fussing and trying to latch again but won't/can't.

It may just be fussiness or a growth spurt. There isn't actually conclusive evidence for nipple confusion, regardless of what the kellymom website states...I did a LOT of research before introducing it to our then two week old (and my old job was a medicak researcher), as he had reflux and we were advised that the sucking action on a dummy would help keep the milk down due to the swallowing action.

You getting stressed will have more of an effect on your little one, so try to stay calm, get comfy, regardless of his crying and talk to him soothingly. Don't force it, just take things slow. Try putting your finger in his mouth to calm him, and then try getting him to latch. If he's having none if it, let him do his own thing, check to see if he needs winding, nappy change etc. then just keep trying, you will get there.

You are doing an amazing job and have not ruined anything!

Have you given him a good winding? Mine used to do that when they needed a burp.

have their been plenty of wet and dirty nappies today? Are you sure your DS is hungry?

ps. How long as he been awake? My (dummy using EBF for a year) ds used to do this when he was over tired.

Is your DP supporting you? Telling you to shut up and allowing his family to come round at 8pm when you're stressed doesn't sound great... Maybe you need to have a talk with him and explain how stressed you're feeling and how he could help.