Breast-obsessed toddler needs alternative to get to sleep

[SerenDPDee]

DD is now 2 1/2, and 3 months ago she had surgery under GA to remove decayed and broken teeth we were told were the result of feeding her through the night. DH has taken over the getting her to drop off duty, but it takes hours and she can get absolutely hysterical. It's not yet getting any easier. We sometimes resort to me feeding her then trying to brush her teeth when she's asleep. We were happy contented co-sleepers and now I'm heartbroken I can't sooth her for fear there is the slightest chance her teeth would be affected and she'd need more surgery. Any suggestions?

I think you need to get more information on night BF and tooth decay. It's very different from formula milk.

Here

You could create a sleep/comfort association with something else by breast feeding whilst she cuddles something with a lullaby toy playing.

My eldest had a jellycat bashful bunny which she still carries around age 4 and my youngest has taken to a silk tagged blanket. They both liked the fisher Price lullaby seahorse and a light show that plays lullabies.

You remove the bed time breast feed and offer a straw cup of breast milk or cows milk if she drinks it followed by teeth brushing, story time then cuddle comfort toy with music playing. We also used to draw on dd1's back, dd2 prefers to hold my hand if going to sleep off the breast.

We went cold turkey on the night feeds when dd1 was nearly two and offered only water. DH went into her and she stopped waking after a week. Bed time feed was harder. Once you pick a strategy this time around don't go back on your decision as it will confuse her and she will fight harder to keep the breast feeding. She will think if you gave in once you will again.

Yes I think you've been given wrong information :( breast milk does no damage to clean teeth. We wouldn't have survived long as a meat eating species if breastfeeding at night caused tooth decay!

I'm very sorry to hear about your DD's dental problems, but it would be quite unusual for this to be caused by bf alone. Tooth decay can occur for all sorts of reasons, sugar of course is one common one, but other reasons can be genetic or just down to bad luck.

It would be a shame to stop bf if you are both happy to carry on because of misinformation, IMO. However if you are looking to wean her off reliance on bf to sleep, there is a version of the no cry sleep solution for toddlers, I found the baby one very helpful when DS was younger.

Thank you. I've read round it all a fair bit, and whilst I'm not convinced it's just the night bf, I can't completely exclude that it may be a contributory factor. The thought of her needing another GA (she's had 2 already, one for a brain scan at 9 months) is such a frightener. The brain scan was to investigate the lack of movement in one eye, (from 3 months to around a year) something which has rectified itself and which was put down to being viral. I can only speculate whether the virus affected the developing teeth. The health professionals involved (inc consultant paediatric surgeon at univ. dental hospital) all adamant it's the bf. I'm otherwise bullish, and heartily opinionated, but over this I am absolutely done in and defeated. I want to be able to go back to how we were but I feel i just can't take the risk.

I think it would still be worth weaning her off gradually if cold turkey is so traumatic for her. I am sure the no cry sleep solution would help. You could try replacing the night feeds with water? Also look up Jay Gordon's nightweaning method. It's very popular on here.

Which teeth were decayed?

Sometimes, there can be an upper lip tie which forms little pockets which trap food and/or milk which can lead to decay in the front teeth.

Even breastmilk will rot the teeth if it is in prolonged contact with the teeth in this manner.

Article here from Dr Kotlow