FF baby - routine and night feeding

[LubyLu2000]

Hi

My 10 week old DS is FF but still doesn't seem to be in a recognisable routine. Sometimes he'll wolf down a whole bottle 150ml (5oz I think) and other times he'll only take half. He tends to be really sleepy in the morning and through to the afternoon so will fall asleep before finishing the bottle, nothing (and believe you me I've tried everything!) will keep him awake if he's sleepy! Basically he's eating everything he "needs" in a day before midnight but still waking up during the night to feed - and at the moment he's waking every 2 hours. The paediatrician agreed with me that it could be just habit rather than need so I'm trying to cut down the amounts to wean him off it but I'm not really sure if that's contributing to him waking up more quickly or not . Basically I'm very confused with his feeding and throwing away lots of milk that I've made up (and it's very expensive here).

It's not so much that his sleeping is a problem cos he tends to go back down quite quickly after feeding (although last night he was "fussing" throughout the night without actually waking which kept me awake most of the night). I do appreciate that it's good not to have a crying baby but the lack of sleep is really getting to me now - I have another DS (6yrs) and he is really playing up cos of jealousy/lack of attention and I'm finding it really hard to cope with him due to tiredness (and feeling bad about that too).

DS1 was so easy (although I didn't appreciate that at the time!). He only really ate through the night (ie 12-7) once and was sleeping these core hours by the time he was 10 weeks so I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do this time. If anyone has any suggestions as to how to get him into a bit more of a routine and cut back to at least just once during the night I'd be very grateful!

Haven't got much time to post but see if you can get hold of babycalming

Your Lo doesn't sound difficult by the way, he just sounds like a normal baby

How much sleep is he having during day? I'd expect him to be having a minimum of 3 hours and a maximum of 5 hours. If he's eating well during the day maybe its that he's having too much sleep during day in which case you'll need to adjust day to get the night sleeps. Saying that he sounds just like any other 10 week old and it may take just a little longer for him to sleep through.

Thanks very much for replying . Didn't mean to imply that he was difficult, in fact he's a wee sweetheart (lots of smiles today!) but I would like a bit more sleep at night!

jiltedjohns - the book looks really interesting but unfortunately there's no e-copy and I'm abroad but I'll google and see if I can pick up the general idea.

mrswishy - I'm not too sure how much sleep he's having during the day because it's all so irregular (do you mean approx 7-7 by day?). I never really thought of too much sleep as the problem but I'll certainly have a think about it. Maybe if he's so tired at night he'll sleep right through without noticing that he's a bit hungry

Where about are you? Does the book depository deliver?

What are his centiles like too? If he's tall he could be needing those extra calories for growth, after all the quantities on the carton are only a guide. Do you think offering smaller bottles more often might work?

At 10 weeks it's also hard to refuse a feed if that's what they want. Could you share the night feeds? If you want to change the sleep then the isis website is a good place to start. Have a look at 31 ways to get your baby to sleep too. According to these studies on normal infant sleep only 46 percent of babies are sleeping through at 3 months.

If you can get hold of it, Sound Sleep by Sarah Woodhouse is very good too

Agree too that he may be a bit confused still over night and day? Do you take him outside every day? I'd try to do it at least twice as it can help with sleep

Possibly slightly stupid question ... Is he definitely hungry when he wakes at night? Could he just be restless? Might he go back to sleep if you patted and shushed him? Maybe for at least a couple of the wakings.

My DD seemed to feed constantly especially in the evening and i was worried about over feeding, then she started to settle into her own routine at around 10weeks, she brought her bedtime forward to 8pm, slept til 8am with only one feed, by the time another 2weeks had passed she'd dropped the night feed completely and sleeps through roughly 8-8.

Do you have a bedtime routine so he knows its night time, we do a bath at 7pm, baby massage and into a babygro, bit of a wriggle on the floor, then I give her last bottle in her bedroom with the curtains closed so its dark ish, put her into the cot awake, swaddle her put her dummy in and let her drift off on her own. If she wakes in the night I put her dummy back in, no eye contact or talking.

I'm sure things will settle down soon

Jiltedjohnsjulie thanks so much for those articles. I've had a look through them just now and they make for very interesting reading. I think my expectations are a bit high as DS1 was so straightforward. Certainly food for thought - the bit about me changing rather than him is probably quite relevant! I'm not good at napping during the day but I may have to give it a try....

I think I'm starting to recognise his "routine" - drinking smaller amounts in the morning (he rarely finishes a bottle in the first 2 or 3 feeds) and then drinking full bottles every couple of hours in the evening.

I'm starting to think that he possibly needs a little bit of milk in the night (although still not even convinced about that) but anything else is just habit/comfort. He woke up at 250 (from 1130) and I tried to get him to go back to sleep but after 20mins I gave him 70ml and he went straight back to sleep. He then woke up at 550 and dozed on and off until 7 - but he didn't scream to be fed (which he does if he's hungry) and didn't want the whole bottle at 7. So actually feels like we're making some progress.

It's quite hard for me to do a bedtime routine because I have another DS who's 6 and we often have to be out and about with him in the early evening (in Italy they have very different ideas about when children go to bed and what time their activies are at!) but you're right, I should maybe try and do something even if very simple.

By day I mean the 12 hours during the day usually 7-7 but could be different hours. As you are in a country that are out and about in the evening I'd do a later routine. So choose what ever time you're in consistently as the bed time, allow at least an hour. Then I'd let the baby sleep or you could do a dream feed but set your alarm so you get some sleep before it. Then I'd feed as is during the night and I would recommend starting each day the same time depending on when bed time was. I would then feed 3-4 hourly during the day with a nap of 1-2 hours between each feed. I would also plan that baby was awake for the two hours in the lead up to bed time.

So written down it could go like this:
9pm bath/Pjs/milk
10pm bed
2am optional dream feed or just sleep through, feed when needed
10am up and milk
12-2pm sleep (can be shorter but up to 2 hours is ok)
2pm milk
5-6.30/7pm sleep (again can be shorter but 2 hours is ok)
6.30/7pm milk
7.30/8pm cat nap, awake by 8.30pm (no more than an hour)

Thanks so much for writing that all out. I'm definitely going to have a think about it. I attempted a dream feed last night but he was having none of it - couldn't wake him up for love nor money. Tried all sorts and sat with him in my arms for about 30 mins with the bottle in his mouth but he didn't take a single suck.