Bfing and pregnant or tandem feeding? WWYD?

[80QuidYoniJob]

I'm 27 weeks pregnant. My DD is 19 months old.

I wanted to continue feeding her until at least 2 or longer but my milk completely dried up when I was about 14 weeks pregnant despite her feeding day and night. I was getting extremely bad aversion to feeding so decided to night wean as this was when the aversion was the worst. DD took to it fine but then gradually stopped asking for the boob during the day too.

So for about 6 weeks she didn't ask for it once. Then randomly last week she asked for it again so I let her. Since then she has been asking for it everyday.

DP was never really a fan of me bfing past a year. He is really angry that I've been letting DD bf again and says I've had it easy with her stopping by herself so I shouldn't let her.

So now I don't know what to do. If I say no to her she just accepts it so i could easily stop again but I was really gutted we didn't make it until she was 2 so I need some outside persepective. What would you do? Thanks for reading if you made it this far!

Honestly, if you want to carry on bf your dd, you should. Breast milk is better for your child and 2 is a reasonable age to stop. My dc self weaned around one - I was gutted. It's perfectly acceptable to bf your 19mo and it's doing you or her no harm. I know other mum's who still breastfeed and their children are around 4.

If it was me, I'd carry on. If it was easy for her to stop herself, then I don't see how it wouldn't again. She may even self wean herself like my dd.

Not sure if any of it helps, but that's my 2 cents :)

I agree, you should do what is best for you and your DD- if that is carrying on with BF then do it :) Your DH is not being fair by being 'angry' with you. It is not his decision, it is your body and if you and your DD are happy to carry on then why not?

Thanks for replying. I really don't know why DP has reacted like this. When I say angry I mean he was fuming! I think I'll try and compromise with him and just let DD bf once a day.

I think it will help her feel less pushed out when the new baby is here too.

If you want to compromise, how about letting her bf before bed & on a morning and whatever you give her to drink through day.

Carry on.

Fwiw I'm 10+6 and bf my 24mo DC2. Nursing aversion in pgy is common but it is awful and guilt-inducing and all sorts.

There are enough changes for DD without reducing her comfort. If it is right for the two of you then it is right.

Your DH's reaction is disappointing. Is he really supportive of bf or just paying lipservice to the idea?

DP was supportive of breastfeeding until a year. After that he wasn't keen. He's from a hardcore formula family who think I'm mental, so I can see why.

I think I knew all along I'd carry on, I just wanted to see what others thought.

The aversion is absolutely terrible though. But I can deal with it during the day. I could never go back to night feeds with DD though as it scared me how strong it was. Hope that makes sense?

It absolutely makes sense. DC1 self weaned when I was pg with DC2 thank fuck and it was so bad then I practically threw him across the room when he latched on. It was just wrong and every inch of my skin crawled.

Now it is ok so long as he doesn't prod or fiddle. That gives me the Rage and I just can't cope.

I am much more sympathetic nowadays to women who say they "couldn't bear to bf" or "couldn't even contemplate bfing". Because now I've been there. And fwiw it was fine with the newborn.

That is, at present I am ok so long as DC2 doesn't fiddle. DC1 was absolutely incredulous at the idea of his ever having been bf within a couple of months of stopping

Oh god I know what you mean about the fiddling. As bad as it sounds, it makes me want to break her fingers! I remember reading about it when I first found out I was pregnant. I just though, nahh, can't be that bad! How wrong I was.

Did your aversion start when you became pregnant with DC3 or have you always had it with DC2?

Sorry ive just seen you've put it was fine with the newborn!

It came on before BFP with both DC2 and this pgy. DC1 had weaned by now IYSWIM, so I'm struggling a bit, even though it isn't that bad.

Feeding a newborn, by the way, is nothing like feeding a toddler, and I had totally forgotten.

The mw came in, took one look at me and poor DC2 helplessly trying to latch on, and said "You've fed a toddler, haven't you? Well you need to help a newborn" and showed me how and I thought "oh yeah, I remember now... they can't unclick the bra themselves while you're asleep..."

I didnt mind when ds and dd used to poke them while bf, I loved making them laugh as they bf, saying that they weaned before 15 months so maybe wasnt as bad as if they were older toddlers.

I aimed to feed ds til two despite horrific nursing aversion then have the third trimester off before dd was due. She turned up at 27 weeks when ds was two and two days. I truly believe nursing can sometimes have a legitimate biological basis and be your bodys way of telling you to take a break. Whatever advantages ds gained from extended nursing dd paid for it, as did ds having to effectively lose his mum to his v sick and fragile sister for the first year of her life. If it were me Id let bfing gently fade away.