Leaving my EBF baby at 5 months?

[gruber]

Hi all, DH & I have been invited to a very posh party when DS will be 5 months (currently 12 weeks). Party is 2pm on, afternoon through evening sort of thing. We would like to go but invite says "sorry no children".

Will I be able to leave DS by that point? It would mean missing 3 or 4 feeds including bed and bath time. He has just begun taking 2/3oz of expressed milk in a bottle every other day or so.

Will I be able to express enough feeds? Anyone done this? Or is it too much for a demand fed baby?

I would start him now, practising with someone else bathing him and putting him to bed. Not every night but regularly otherwise it's going to be hellish on the actual night.

Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to leave my ds3 at the same age.

Thanks Winky will try & get started. It will probably be my mum doing it (unfortunately my Dad, who DS adores & will settle for, is away that weekend - groan.)

I left my 5mo EBF PFB for a week!

I had a holiday booked with my Gran before I even got pg. I expressed like crazy from 6 weeks (no kidding - I left a gallon of milk!), dh took a few days off, mil came to help out, dh then took her to my parents house or a couple of days (he stayed too, always had him about while I was gone). I expressed (I think the expression was "pumped and dumped" :) ) while away and went on to bf for over 12 months.

At the time it was very hard going. However, I'm now immensely glad I did it. My relationship with my Gran had always been good, but this gave us so much time to talk, let me hear stories, especially about my Granpa who died when I was 16, some that no one else had ever heard.

She died 6 years ago, 6 years after the holiday. I miss her still. My dd1 has no recollection or issues from being left, and I've realised I'm now encouraging her to build relationships like this with her grandparents (she's especially close to my stepmother).

Well if he takes a bottle then you have plenty of time to build up a freezer supply of milk and leave him IF that is what you want to do. I there is someone he knows well and is happy to be left with, will settle to sleep for then why not?

However, not wanting to leave him is a perfectly normal way to feel too.

Do remember that for your own comfort you will need to express during the party so that mean having somewhere private to express, bringing pump with you if you don't hand express and so on. Otherwise you will be in pain, engorged and probably leaking all over your posh dress.

I think you would be fine.

When DS was small I would feed off one side in the morning and express off the other. I was lucky and could get 4-6oz in this way which I would freeze so I always had some available if we were invited to anything.

It is different for everyone but I found it difficult to express at any other time of day.

I went to an all day wedding when DS was 4 months old and he was fine.

Enjoy the party if you decide to go, but remember to take your breast pump with you or you may end up uncomfortable.

Is it in a hotel? Could you take someone and Lo with you and go to the room to do some of the feeds?

Thanks all. No not a hotel- garden party! Not sure where I could express... Do have a hand pump though so it could work. Hadn't even thought about engorgement/needing to express at party (very leaky & prone to engorgement already, hmmm.)

I will try to start expressing & freezing, not looking forward to it as just got supply established (had massive oversupply, trying not to pump so as not to encourage it! Oh well. Maybe I'll just end up with a freezer full of milk)

julie no it's just DH & I invited, private garden party so no chance of eg my mum coming & entertaining DS on hotel lounge. It's also 45 mins away from home so I couldn't get back very quickly (can you tell he's my PFB?!!)

Can you hand express on the day and dump it?

:) Worrying about leaving the baby isn't pfb! I've never liked leaving mine and have only done it when I absolutely HAD to! If it works for you, you want to go etc then have a great time. If it is stressing you out and you won't enjoy it then there is no harm at all in saying "sorry, I can't leave the baby as he is bf" and staying home. There will be other parties and babies grow up so fast. Over supply and pumping can be a pain. I had to leave dd once for a full day training. We had just got the over supply to a point where she didn't scream every time I tried to feed her but every time I pumped the net day we'd be back to screaming so I gave up and just gave her formula for that day. Not ideal but she took it ok, she only really took just enough to survive and then fed like a maniac when I got home.

Thanks Indith, good to know I'm not the only one with oversupply/pumping issues - don't know anyone in RL! Yes I completely understand the screaming at feeds - we have that if I express just 1 feed it creates havoc for a couple of days. Have only expressed off the "tail end" of a feed to get him used to taking a bottle, and then it's only been a couple of ounces.

I am worrying about leaving him...maybe will RSVP with a clause of "maybe" and let them know say beginning of June.

julie yes possibly hand express. & dump but don't know what it will be like at a garden party in terms of rooms/private space etc.

I have an ebf 5 month old and yes I think I could be away for an afternoon/evening at this age if I wanted to. I have left him with DP once for 3 hours to go to the movies, I left 4oz freshly expressed milk, 6oz in the fridge and 6oz in the freezer and fed before I left which was more than enough. Figure out how much expressed milk your baby will take at a feed then leave about a third extra.

I had to do this when one of my EBF babies was about six months old. I made sure I had a good supply of expressed milk for him and that he was happy to be fed that way obviously!

In the event (I had to be away from about 9 am until 11pm) he was fine, as was my mum who was babysitting. I did get quite uncomfortable however. I did try to express & dump regularly in any baby changing rooms I could find (you get funny looks squirting it down the sink in public loos for some reason ) but it obviously wasn't enough to compensate by a long way because I did have a couple of quite agonising days afterwards when I thought I was actually getting mastitis. Maybe if you are at a garden party where you will actually be able to find a private room, you can do a proper express with a pump every few hours to avoid ending up how I did.

Thanks chronic and badtaste. Lots of helpful tips. Will definitely aim to build up the milk stash & enquire now about rooms there (sounds like a proper express & dump will be needed).

Alternatively, can you ask them what they mean by no children? A 5mo ebf baby might be acceptable, most people would understand!

Update: have asked hosts & the reply, very nicely, was that they were trying to keep it completely baby & child free. (I'm guessing that a lot of the guests have babies/small children & they want to keep it a posh grown up party which is fair enough.)