I think I want to stop [sad] but how?

[ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged]

DS is 20mo. BF has had it's challenges, but it's generally worked really well for us. However, I'm getting to the stage where I want my body back. I want to be able to roll over and go back to sleep when I hear DS wake up (not every morning you understand, but on the days DH is getting up with him) not be tied to a 30 minute feed each morning. I want to go to gym classes (or nights out!) that start at 7pm without worrying that DS won't be fed and asleep by then. I want to be able to leave the house without worrying that DS will start pulling at my clothes and scratching me to get a feed. I want to feel that DS is eating 'properly' (he doesn't eat much at all on the days he is with me, just grazes at food and BM)

Given the choice (which he has been, so far!) DS would prefer to be permanently attached to me and to survive solely on BM. I don't want to upset him, but I do think I am ready for this

Advice? Recommendations? Any attempts at reducing feeds so far have led to screams, tantrums and violent outbursts.

Thank you

Sorry, this is a bit quick - busy night at chez Thorne.
just my own experience. I should say I carried on feeding while pregnant and wasn't very focused on stopping, which is why it took us a while.

When my ds stopped at 2yrs I used a bit of "don't offer, don't refuse" so I picked the feeds I wanted to lose first and when he asked for milk I used distraction or offered ebm or another drink. If he really demanded I gave him a breastfeed.
LLL have a book: how weaning happens.
Good luck.

Same here. DD2 is 17 months and I am/have weaned her off day feeds for about 16 months. I was quite firm that day feeds and going out must be soy milk in a beaker. Every time she asked, I would always say, "milk in beaker". I did carry on bf at naps and bed time. I'm now weaning her off nap time feed by cuddling her to sleep, and having some quiet reading time with DD1. I'm still holding onto the bed time and morning feeds for a bit longer.

Sometimes she would give me the bottom lip and sad eyes, which makes me wonder if I'm doing the right thing!

I take it from your post you're co-sleeping? If so, this gentle method of night weaning might help you (Dr Jay Gordon). That's a start to get your nights back. It will also help with day time feeds and solid intake.

We did this at 13 months, and dd practically changed over night. Increased food intake and made bf's more 'meaningful' at certain times of the day, rather than here and there etc which was getting on my tits (literally ).

Alongside all of this, DP had to 'step up' and became more involved in bedtime and putting her to bed so the association with bed time wasn't feeding, but with baths, books and daddy obviously this took time, but not as long as I thought. Just made subtle changes, so I'd offer boob downstairs rather than before bed, but I'd go up and give if she got really upset with daddy. She'd knew I'd come but also began trusting DP too.

A few months on (dd 20 months) she's much more independent and is still bf'ing but its more structured (1st thing in the morning today and had nothing since, going to bed without). Some days it's more.

I'm sure others will have some other tips too. Good luck

Thanks all. I was trying 'don't refuse, don't offer' but DS doesn't seem to have got the memo. He's just asking all the time!

DH is away at the moment, so I think DS is 'checking in' with me iyswim, to check that I'm still there and still offering what he's used to. As soon as DH is back I'll suggest he does the evenings (he'll want to anyway; I think he's missing his boy!) and try to drop it right down to just feeding in the morning.

We're not co-sleeping, but he does wake up most nights and then he toddles through to us at around 6am for a mahooosive feed.