Comfort 'feeding' breastfed 1 year old

[Skang]

My daughter often wants access to my boobs (whines and pulls my top down) just to latch on and chew whilst fidgeting around. I don't think it's a supply thing, she just likes it. I am guilty of letting her do this for peace and quiet sometimes (to get an extra half an hour in bed for example) but I increasingly find that I can't have her sit on my lap without boob bothering. I wouldn't deny her if she was upset but this is something she'd be up for at any time. Am I making a rod for my own back by letting her do it when it suits me?

No, you are not making a rod for your own back and you've nothing to feel guilty about! Sounds like normal behaviour for a BF 1 yo. If you don't like the pulling then maybe avoid low cut tops for a while. A lot of mothers start to introduce nursing manners at this stage. On phone atm but google a book called mothering your nursing toddler, you might find it helpful.

Ignoring what everyone else tells you, how are you feeling about breastfeeding?

Honestly, someone should create a mumsnet rule about that bloody phrase. Why is it always connected with nice things like bf, cuddling, co sleeping and not with things that inevitably will cause problems one day like smoking in close proximity to your kids. I say this because the last person who told me I was making a rod etc was blowing smoke over her 11yo as she spoke, telling me all about the wisdom of her tough love approach. No you are not making a rod for your back! I have a 1 yo too. I use bf to comfort him when he's upset, hurt, ill or tired. If we didn't have such social taboos around breasts no one would bat an eyelid, it's such a quick and effective way of cheering a toddler up

Thanks I'll have a look for it.

I feel fine about breastfeeding on the whole and don't want to stop. I just wonder if she would ask less if I stopped letting her chew when she's not actually feeding?

Sorry, perhaps I shouldn't have used that expression.

I'm not worried at all about her doing it when she's hungry, upset or tired (she mostly still feeds to sleep). It's just when she wants them for no apparent reason and whines and then whines when I take them away that it gets a bit much. I don't ever take her off if she is actually drinking.

Sorry if I sounded irritable, it's that expression's always used to make parents feel bad about doing things that aren't bad! Fwiw I don't let my DS play with my boobs, trying to train him not to bite or pinch me. He only gets boobs if he wants to feed (or comfort suck) but not with teeth. Does your dd chew with teeth? Isn't it painful? Lucky you if not!

I don't allow chewing.

My 19 month old has a cold, and so I've just spent 2 hours on the sofa with him latched on, not really feeding, just for comfort.

Sorry, I'm being crap here. When I say chewing I mean boob in mouth but not exactly latched on and not sucking. Just comfort sucking I suppose but not seeming to be in any particular need of comforting. She does actually use teeth sometimes but seems to understand no on that score.

It's totally up to you what you allow. Me, I will allow DD2 to do her boob gymnastics if it means I can actually hear the F1 commentary or talk on the phone But not everyone is the same. You can't force a child to breastfeed but if they fancy a snack or a comfort breastfeed (equally important IMO!) at a time that suits you then there's nothing wrong with offering.

It's quite uncommon in this country for a baby of 12 mo+ to be breastfed so it's hard to know what is normal. If there's a breastfeeding group near you then you could go along to see what everyone else is doing so that you can get a few ideas.

I want to know more about breastfeeding manners.

DD1 really got quite uncouth before I weaned her.

She kind of mauled me, and I found it quite annoying at times.

Hilarious other times.

I guess she had no boundaries.

This is a good link.

DD1 was a nipple twiddler, I let her do it when she was tiny but it got out of control as she got older and for a while every BF was like an arm wrestling match. I made sure DD2 never got into the habit although she occasionally tries.

You can stop the behaviour if you want to and are consistent. Your dd will get used to the new rules pretty quickly if you decide to change them.

I needed to stop the day feed so started doing night time and morning feeds in the same room of the house that we don't usually use. I distracted in the day and offered other things until he built up the association of x room for feeds. No trauma involved. Took a just over a week and he wouldn't even think of asking in the day now.

Not saying you need to drop the day feeds just giving you an idea on how to stop a habit if you choose to.