5 days of 1 bottle a day, 19 wo now refusing breast

[smk84]

Hi, first of all thank you to everyone who has helped us this far. Our feeding nightmare continues, and am trying to get some rl help, but until I can I would really appreciate your advice....
We introduced an evening bottle to our ds last fri. (Before this he had had the odd few ounces of ebm to try to help his weight gain, which is slow). Since then, I have been pumping in the eve or waking him in the night for an extra feed to try to keep my supply up. Since then some feeds have been fine, others he has no seemed content,which is the norm for him. But tues and yesterday things really started to deteriorate ... Pulling off before let down, or pulling off after initial fast flow, or falling asleep after a couple of minutes. By yest pm his latch was all over he place an he wasn't staying on at all. He was quite frantic and so I decided to give him the bottle then an didn't give one in evening. Then I fed him at 3 am and 430 am, both feeds were ok, then at 730 today he was refusing the breast( well he would open his mouth and go on, but the latch wasn't right and he didn't take anything). We tried lots of times to no avail, and he kept crying, obviously wanting to feed.....
I am trying not to panic, but I think the bottle might be to blame.
Do you have any experience of this?
Any advice on what I should do?
Yesterday I decided to use a sns for the evening top up, but I don't know if we can make it til then as he isn't feeding.
We have a paed app this pm about his slow weight gain!
Thank you for reading

Gosh, smk, you have been through a lot :(

Can I suggest you post again when you can report back with what the paed says?

That way, we have a fuller picture.

When babies show resistance like this to the breast, for whatever reason, the best response is not to fight but to keep the baby close, skin to skin if poss, and just make the breast available. If the baby says 'no' just let him say 'no' - don't insist as this turns the whole thing into a behavioural, stressed , conflict experience and it makes things worse. I know this is a scary thing to do because you get worried about his intake and what happens if he continues not to feed...but see if you can manage to do it for a day or so and then report back.

Haven't got any experience and hopefully someone else will be along soon.

In the meantime, have a read of Help! My Baby Won't Nurse! on Kellymom and have you tried giving one of the Bfing Helpline a call like the National Breastfeeding Helpline?

x-posted with tiktok.

He was still v upset come 1 pm, and he had by this point taken about 2 mins worth on 4 sides. at other times he was going on but not doing right latching action then turning face into pillow. He was so upset I had to give formula hoping to settle his hunger so he could persist at the breast, so tried 3oz and then he was still hungry but wouldnt stay on for milk to let down. i didnt force it and then gave him the rest of the formula. i couldn't take any more,so I am off to pump. So sad :(
Thank you both, I will post again. Thank you for the link jilted, the suggestions on there are great, I have tried some but not sure what to do now. I am going to call someone...

Hopefully tiktok will be here soon. What did the Paed say this afternoon?

I doubt it would be the bottle in itself. Plenty of people mix feed successfully, and I only fed by bottle (ebm and formula) with just one bf a day in the two days leading to my DS's tongue tie cut, as I just couldn't stand to ask him to nurse when it was causing him such distress. He nursed straight after the tt cut with absolutely no problems, and continues to do so.

Hope you got some answers this afternoon from the paed.

Thanks Jilted, paed said basically he is developing fine, she can't find anything wrong, and that he needs more calories, so to give him formula. She was very nice and took time to discuss everything with us, and I think she felt we had had a rough time with feeding, he's not gaining well, so t knock bf on the head. I accepted what she said but later decided that I am not ready to throw in the towel yet. Ds finally settled to take some milk this eve, not great feeds, but at least he has latched on and taken milk.

So glad he fed some last night for you, make sure you get plenty of skin to skin today, maybe take a babymoon.

Thank you jilted, not rally poss for babymoon today ave 3yo ds and my dad here, but going to try Tom. Paed said we could try solids, and a LC I spoke to said jack Newman sometimes recommends high calorie solds for lo s in this situation. I'm no sure though as I've heard milk has highest nutritional value.
Aamia thank you. I thi k ds rally struggles to get full from me, and likes the fast flow from the bottle. Think there mst be underlying issues as to why he can't maintain a good supply, but in 19 weeks we have not been able to solve his slow weight gain. Just really hope we can mixed feed for now, and maybe go back to ebf one day.
Sorry for all the typos again I can type very well as ds asleep on me.

Sorry smk, seem to have missed most of your threads and didn't realise that you had a 3yo too.

Hi again, things are going further downhill , less and less satisfied at the breast, less patient for milk, latch seems to b deteriorating, an ds is loving the bottle. He has had up to 4 a day since sat, when he oudn feed from me at all. I. Tried to pump as much as poss, but it ended up being quite A lot of formula. He has been a different boy, smiling more, sleeping better, content after feeds. I am in huge limbo, never sure what to do one minute to the next. This is how it goes.... Offer breast, he takes initial letdown then won't go back on, repeat on other breast, offer formula to take edge off hunger, latches back on but doesn't stay on, try again, then leave a GAp and try again when I think he is tired, he sometimes will take a little feed going off to sleep. Other times he wont settle on me til i give more bottle. And in the midst of this I am trying to pump and look after ds1. It's so not sustainable.
We are using breastflow bottles, but it still virtually falls out when he gums it.
Have tried supplemental nursing sys several times but he can't get used to it, he pulls around a lot, flailing his arms and ends up pulling the tube. Plus his sucking isn't right. Our only successful feeds for the last few days have been one in the night and the odd one early morning.
I am no sure what I am asking here, but would value any ideas you have for how to move forward.
Just tried medela calma bottle and he took some then got annoyed, switched to breastflow and he took the rest.
I am considering just pumping and giving him all feeds in a bottle as I can't sustain these daytime feeds, and just trying to bf in the night.
I am really worried that we are too far down the road for him to be content bf. my supply use be down and I just can't fit in enough pumping :(
Maybe it's time to give up :(

Sorry I just posted this last message in the wrong thread! Have out it in the right one now?