This decision is driving me crazy, please help with opinions / experiences

[TerrysNo2]

I have an adorable 8 week old DD who has been EBF since birth and feeds well. We tried giving her a bottle of expressed BM from about 3 weeks but she would only take it when I was in the room (defeated the object) and after one particular evening where she just screamed and then we were visiting family over christmas (where it is more difficult to express) I just went back to feeding her.

Now I don't know whether I should just not bother with bottles at all and wean her onto a cup at some point (when can I do this?) or whether I should give the bottle another go (for one feed a day). I also don't know whether I should express or just give her formula in bottles, whilst I would love to EBF totally it is hard work expressing - I would have to express twice a day to get enough (I also have a 3yo DS)

Option 1 - EBF

• would be lovely
• wouldn't be able to leave her for more than a few hours (until when?) and if I did subsequently want / need to go somewhere (have a hen do in March I would love to attend) would she refuse the bottle

Option 2 - bottles with expressed BM

• DH could do feeds and I could go out / go to bed
• might be difficult to get her to take the bottle / stressful?

Option 3 - bottles with formula

• how would I feel about not EBF
• same bottle stress question.

What I would love is for anyone with any similar experience or advice to tell me what to do let me know what they think or what other things I should be considering.

Thanks so much for reading all this!

Hope others will come along and share, but to me, it seems the obvious thing is to carry on doing what you are doing - you like it, your baby likes it, there is no stress and you are worrying about something more than two months away when your baby will be older and could even manage a cup with help if you had to leave her when she needs a feed :)

Many bf babies never have bottles. They move on to cups alongside bf at about 6 mths (fine for babies to try cups before then for exactly the circumstances you describe, when they cannot be with mum).

If you are feeling a bit 'trapped' at being your dd's sole source of food and drink, this will not last long! When she is 6 mths she will have other foods and drinks anyway. Before then, many mothers find they can have a few hours off anyway - they time the feeds and the baby tolerates the gap :)

Hmmmm.....reading between the lines here, but have family members rolled their eyes a bit at you bf and not being able to offer an alternative? Has the phrase 'rod for your own back' been used? Or 'she'll have to get used to it some time' and similar undermining phrases? :) :)

it depends on things like returning to work, when/if you have to leave your baby.
i expressed for dh to do a bedtime bottle with ds1 to give me bit of a break but the expressing/washing/sterilising were more hassle than it was worth and dh was happy not to feed baby, then with ds2 i didn't bother at all and just fed on demand. i wanted to give him a bottle around 7months and he wasn't interested at all so it took a few weeks of persuasion but i never needed to so it wasn't a problem. i did the same with ds3 who is more of a booby monster and has only just started having decent sized bottles of formula at 10 months. i started trying at 7months!

so if you need baby to take a bottle in march then i would give yourself a break for a week or two then try again, just a little bit every few days.

I'd save myself the hassle of expressing and all that and just feed her and if necessary try a cup of bm in march when she'll be a lot older.

tiktok as always, you are very wise (you helped me make my decision to introduce formula to DS's feed when he was 6/8 weeks 3 years ago and I ended up feeding him to 19mo with one formula bottle a day - totally different situation though) - I know its not for long, I need to keep telling myself that!

We are doing well and happy, and no one is pressurising me to give bottles, its just occasionally I get a bit stressed about being DDs only source of food as I want to know I have the ability to escape if I need to IYSWIM. Ahh - this is why its driving me crazy, I'm going round in circles!

naturalbaby I am not returning to work until September / October so should not be an issue.

Ha, I blush at being wise....I also got it wrong if you didn't hear those comments anyway :)

In the 'mother run down by a bus' scenario when you have popped out to post a letter for 5 mins but are therefore delayed and not there to feed dd, no one would let your baby starve. And of course you can 'escape' for increasing chunks of time - you can probably leave dd with someone you trust to be able to offer cuddles and comfort for a short while even now.

Just enjoy things at the moment :)

I had the 'mother run over by a bus' situation (well I had pancreatitis so I would possibly have preferred to have been hit by a bus!) when DD3 was 6m and ebf (no solidson paeds. advice). She had been offered and had refused one ebm bottle in her life but when I was in A&E and unable to feed her, guess what? She took the bottle of formula and had it. She preferred DH to fed her (or my mum/MIL at a pinch) but she was fine with 1 or 2 bfs a day while I spent a week in hospital recovering.

I was also able to leave her for a few hours at a time without problems, she just would wait for me to return while DH cuddled her!

It seems daunting but it soon flew by, she's now 2.3y and 'still' bfing

Hello! Personally, I would go for option 2. It will give you some freedom, which is important if you're already feeling stressed at being the only source of food, but crucially you won't need to feel guilty about replacing breast milk with formula. When DD gets older, you can introduce formula in the bottle.

I have a 14 month old DS who is still BF once a day, and takes a bottle of formula at night. I introduced the bottle at 6 weeks (using expressed milk only), and he wasn't keen for the first couple of days, but then he accepted it and hasn't struggled since. At 7 months, I got tired of expressing and started using a bottle of formula for the evening feed. He will now happily take milk from the bottle or BF. This means that I can go out in the evenings, and occasionally even for the weekend.

I really recommend option 2 as the best balance, but most of all you shouldn't delay too long before introducing a bottle (whichever milk you choose) or DD might always refuse to take it. My friend tried to introduce a bottle at 5 months and it was way too late. She's still EBF a year later and she's exhausted, but there doesn't seem to be any other option.

Thanks for your experience banana, its very helpful. I have heard a lot of people say their baby refused the bottle if they left it too late. One of the reasons I am not so concerned about not giving a bottle to DD (compared to DS) is that she has been sleeping 11pm - 6/7am from 4 weeks so I don't feel like I need to go to bed early and I'm not exhausted so I feel more able to EBF without any bottles. Still thinking about everything though! Aahhh