How did you cope with active toddler and constantly feeding newborn?

[petaluma]

my ds is a very active 2 year old and I've just had dd2 a week ago. Dh has been great with taking ds out whilst he has been at home but I'm terrified at the prospect of coping with the two of them on my own. Dd just doesn't like being put down, constantly feeds and to top it all I am totally sleep deprived. I feel like I ll never be able to leave the house with the two of them again!

Taking ds to playgroups etc is handwork as he has been going through a hitting stage and I need both hands IYSWIM

How have others coped???

Congrats on your new DD :) My DD1 was at a similar age and stage when my DD2 was born. We watched an awful lot of CBeebies for the first couple of weeks and did lots of indoor stuff like colouring, playdoh etc. I had DD2 in a sling for a lot of the time which leaves boths hands free, have you got a sling? If there is a sling meet near you then you can try a few out or perhaps borrow one.

I wouldn't worry too much about playgroup, everyone with 2 children has been in your position! Just let whoever is organising it know, and the other mums too. I'm sure they will help to supervise your DS or cuddle your DD2 if you need to do something with your DS. So many children go through a hitting phase and I know it's bloody awful when it feels like your child is 'that' child but it's normal and they do get over it. As long as you are trying to do something about it (distraction and removing him from the situation is probably all you can do at age 2) then I'm sure the other mothers won't be peed off with you.

Once my DD2 was a couple of weeks old and I could walk then we spent a lot of time in the great outdoors; no toddlers to hit, DD1 tired herself out enough to have a nap (take a buggy just in case!) and DD2 slept in the sling the whole time- what's not to love?

It's tricky and very daunting when you're facing going it alone, but you will be able to manage, I promise.

I used a stretchy wrap sling a lot. I put it on in the morning and wore it most of the day. You can pop the baby in and out as needed and can also feed in it with a bit of practice. It's easier if you wear something which can be opened from the front rather than lifted up.

Toddler groups...are there people there who you know well and who will be able to field your toddler if you are feeding? The sling would be useful here too. I didn't really do toddler groups, but went to the park a lot. Loads of benches for feeding and open spaces for DS.

At home we did lots of reading, jigsaws etc.

Congrats on your new addition btw!

Thanks ! You ve made me feel loads better. I guess I ll just need to bite the bullet and just get out. I've got lots of supportive mum friends but they are all pg too or have enough on their hands with newborns! I might just give the groups a miss for a short while and do the local parks . My next-door neighbour is ace at helping out so she might accompany me sometimes and ds loves her to pieces.

Petaluma, my dd is 18 months and ds 6 weeks and I've experienced exactly the same issues. I have a gigantic box of pretend food and have scattered it all over the floor and asked her to find me the tomatoes etc, while I'm feeding, it kept her amused for half an hr, but obviously you have the rest of the day to contend with! I'm starting to think that outdoor fun is the way forward too, less distraction and less worry. I met with my friends recently with children same age as dd in a soft play centre, it was the first time that they had met him and all were keen on cuddles etc which was great but he is feeding a lot so I had to have him a lot of the time, even though they were keeping an eye on dd playing its still difficult to chat and relax, I haven't got a hitter at the moment but she has got a fascination with eyes and trying to touch other childrens', so am constantly on the look out for eye poking, when we got home we all slept for 3 hr.s, was exhausted. I'm hoping it will get easier once ds not constantly breastfeeding as it won't be so limiting, also thinking a bit if organisation and forward planning might help for activities with dd, which do far haven't done., my sling instructions say its possible to feed ds in it, but haven't worked this out yet!

mishy do you have a link to a wrap tie you can feed a new born in? Pretty please?

Petaluma i feel your pain! Dd is a week and three days, ds 20m! And crazy. He's always the kid that's climbing something he shouldn't or hugging wrestling another kid who doesn't like it. Oh and he loves eyes too and may have bitten anothe child the other day. So that's a new one to look out for . Variety is the spice of life and all that.

I have friends who will field ds for me. But feel bad cause he's more, erm, challenging than their dc's (by their admission) so don't like to ask too much. Dh is off work atm and accompanying us everywhere. Don't know how i'll cope when he goes back but figure i will somehow. Or maybe i'll just hide in a tree stump somewhere...

MFM- you should be able to BF in just a normal stretch wrap if you jiggle your DD down a bit. Give it a whirl! It's easier with little babies, I can't feed DD2 in a sling any more because her feet end up between my knees- she's tall, like DH, I am short petite.

I've just bought a moby wrap which is fab.

i've managed briefly but more by jiggleing me than dd which has limited potential. Dd feels so tiny as to be unjiggleable (even though she's not that small, but i didn't start using a wrap till ds was a robust 9m so having a newborn in one is new for me). I'll give it a go later on when i have time to play around...

It's pretty comforting to know I'm not the only one experiencing this anxiety. Ds 1 has been a bit wild the last couple of days since the knowledge of his baby sister is here up stay seems to be sinking in. He was supremely crochety yesterday and just very hyper today. We took him to a country park which confirmed my worst fears of what may happen if I went to such places on my own - even dh had a job negotiating the tantrums when he tried to stop him throwing stones in an ornamental pond, clambering up steep plant beds etc! Feeding would be impossible unless I strapped him into his buggy and let him scream.

I guess I'll just have to cherry pick places to go which are enclosed and kid friendly for a while- shame, as most of the decent places nearby are always busy - prime time for ds to indulge in some hitting...

Anyone ever used a 'baba sling'??? I have been given one without the instructions but told there are 3 different positions including one for feeding newborns. I've tried it out but can't quite work out if I'm doing it right or not.

Hi,
I don't have any tips for the breastfeeding but i recently purchased a baba sling for dc3 due next month from ebay.The lady that i bought it from didn't have the original instructions but kindly told me that they are online

here

There are a few useful videos on youtube too if you type in baba sling including one on how to feed in it

Good luck

I am impatiently awaiting the birth if DD (stubborn little mite seems way too comfortable in utero. Perhaps she knows it's turning cold out?) and never really managed to feed DS in my Moby wrap, but loved using it.

I found video on YouTube which seems really helpful. Maybe some of you could give it a test run for me?

Thanks for your help re babasling. I hadn't even thought of you tube despite being a complete technophile ! Great stuff.