Ohno agree with AnOther about the CBT, have you been offered that along with the ADs?
Like I mentioned before I haven't got any experience of PND but do have an experience of depression linked with a failed pregnancy.
Agree with AnOther that CBT along witht he ADs, or just CBT may be the way the way to get you out of this depression.
"I just find it quite mind-blowing that we are that much of a slave to our hormones" "Truth be told I'm terrible. I feel like I'm trapped in a terrible nightmare that won't end. I have got so much RL support but none of it seems to be helping and I just can't bring myself to go on the anti Ds. I just feel it will be another thing that I'm not in control of"
For me I looked on it this way, I was in depression and that was linked to my hormones but taking the ADs and having a course of ADs put me back in control, not the hormones. You may only need the ADs for a few months too and like AnOther says there are lots of ADs that you can take while bfing, I carried on bfing DS while taking them.
Really hope you start seeing a light at the end of the tunnel soon. If it was me I would get an appointment at the GPs tomorrow to talk through how you feel and what your options are, it may be best to ask for a double appointment so that neither you or your GP feels rushed, is there someone that could make the appointment for you? Then phone the APNI helpline tomorrow, they are open between 10 am and 2pm, Monday to Friday.