Struggling at 8 weeks, encouragement please!

[maisie215]

Hello! I posted a couple of weeks ago about low supply and poor weight gain. I'm taking fenugreek, domperidone etc and pumping like there is no tomorrow (get about 4oz in 24hr total in about 4 sessions). LO is nearly 9 weeks old and has started to gain weight a bit better (15oz in 2 weeks). I'm topping up with 3oz at lunch time and 4oz in evening (EBM/FF depending on how much I have pumped).

My difficulty is basically this- DD feeds ALL THE TIME during the day. She will have a break of half an hour here and there if we have to go somewhere but she is pretty much on constantly from 8am to 8pm other than one short nap if I'm lucky. At night she will feed about 1am then 4am when I will bring her into bed and she snacks until we get up at 7 or 8am. I am glad that she is gaining well but struggling with the constancy of it all. We do switch feeding and compressions. Everyone said it would get easier at 6-8 weeks but it hasn't. She doesn't have 'feeds', all day is a feed! I have to start looking after DS age 2 from next week as he is finished at the childminder. Others have said to me that it will get easier at 12 weeks. I'm worried that because of my slow flow and low supply it won't get easier at all.... Please help!

Oh and the middle of the night feed takes about an hour and a half...

Can't be of much help I am afraid other than to commisserate with you! At 11 wks DD is still pretty much attached to my tits! I wasn't expecting bf to be so time consuming but I have now resigned myself to another 3 months of this, after which I hope things will get better with the introduction of solids. I can really see why many women are not able to persist with bf, it is a huge commitment!

Thanks that does help knowing someone else is going through the same thing! All my friends seem to have a 'feed for 10 mins then put down for 3hrs' type of baby and are gaining much more weight than my DD. Feel like a freak.

maisie you are not a freak, my DS was exactly the same.

Sorry, can't remember your previous posts, have you had the latch checked and DD checked for tongue tie? Are you getting some RL help?

Its a bit misleading to say that bfing gets easier after 6 to 8 weeks as it doesn't always and there isn't usually a magic day where it just gets better, it's more of a gradual thing.

What happens if you take her off the breast in the day, say after an hour? Is she feeding the whole time or snacking and dozing?

Have you tried block feeding instead of switch? She might get more hindmilk quicker that way and feel full enough to stop sooner. I block feed for 3 hours each side, although now my daughter's almost 6 months she insists on both sides at bedtime, which cocks up the timetable somewhat.

She does still eat for a very long time though, probably 8 hours a day if I add it all up (we cosleep).

She was tongue tied for the first 10 weeks, so used to feed for even longer as she was so inefficient, so definitely get that checked by someone who recognises posterior ties.

I remeber it well, but yes it does get easier at 12 weeks. Its especially hard early days because tehyre experiencign growth spurts which make them hungrier!!!! I woudl say mixign formula isnt an especially good idea as ur body WILL produce allt eh milk your LO needs and if yrou supplementign that you body will not compensate.

I found LO never took to me "switching" mid feed and once i researched a little further i realised why she ALLWAYS seemsed to hungry. The hind milk is the milk that really "fills" them, and if u switch too early then the hind milk is nver reached. I was far more successful with feeding on one breast at a time, only switching if i really did feel empty...... it aslo help a great deal with sore nipples as tehy had longer to receover!!!!!

Good luck,& perservere, just think wot a hassle it woudl be to constantly have to wash bottles and hwo full yrou nappy bag would be x x

Maisie I had exactly the same with DS2. He scarcely unlatched for the first 3 months. We ended up introducing a formula top up (after a few weeks of expressing and topping up, but I get mastitis every time I express regularly) which improved things a bit, but TBH at 5 months he'd still choose to be latched on most of the day. We're at the stage where we can get to town and back (45 mins or so) without him needing a feed, but he rarely goes much longer than that. He still feeds every 2 hrs or so overnight too.

It is hard, but I've kind of got used to it, and am keeping fingers crossed that the days will improve once he's established on solids. DS1 is 2.11, so fairly full on, but fortunately doesn't get very jealous/stressed as long as I sit and play with him while feeding.

We have had latch checked repeatedly by BFCs/infant feeding specialist, no tongue tie. I definitely have a fairly lame supply (not even engorged after 12 hours away from DS2 on one occasion, never felt milk come in, can hardly express, don't leak, lose supply very fast if DS feeds less for a day or two - individually not indicators of low supply, but add up to a suggestion of not great supply, according to various BFing experts).

No real advice, just wanted to say you're not alone. I have resigned myself to mix feeding as DS wasn't gaining without top ups. Feel bad, but had to balance (a) DS2's need to BF, (b) DS1's need for at least a tiny bit of attention (c) my need to occasionally shower/sleep for more than 45 minutes at a time and (d) our family's need to eat (I am self employed so need to be able to hand over to DH for the odd half hour in order to pay bills).

Thank you for all the replies! We had a Tongue tie snipped at 3 weeks but I'm not sure it made much difference. I've seen IBCLC who thinks supply is low so I'm reluctant to block feed in case i accidentally cock up supply. Her nappies quickly go green if she gets too much foremilk so that is a bit of an indicator.

hopefully that is really helpful to know that your ds is the same. I guess i should just keep going and try to live my life with a child constantly attached! Maybe I need to be looking at coping strategies rather than hoping it will magically get better! She is six months on boxing day. That's not too far?!!

I've been very luck with ds2 as though he feeds every 2 or 3 hours at almost 7 months, he is much more efficient than he was. I also have dd and ds1 to look after who are both at home with me and I know how frustrated they have got with me at times. You are doing an amazing job and I am so impressed at how much you have persevered. Have another for all your hard work.

My LO did get a lot better at 9 weeks after I had resigned myself to having my boob permanently out (she will only feed from the right boob) and is now declining top ups. One day I just woke up and realised it was loads better. Before the happy change I was just aiming to get through the day and start FF tomorrow, it's amazing how long you can persevere if you set short term goals.

Fingers crossed it gets easier for you.

Maisie I do find now that I can also persuade DS into lots of little feeds when I need to cook dinner or something. So I'll feed for 5 mins,chop veg, feed for 5 mins, fry onion, feed for 5 mins, make pasta sauce, feed for 5 mins, make pasta. Voila, dinner! We're also eating a lot of soups, sauces etc that can be made whenever I get 5 mins during the day and then left without suffering for it, and we always have a frozen pizza or something for real emergency days.

I also get DS1 involved in cleaning and I'll, e.g. clean the sink while feeding DS2 and DS1 will sit in the bath cleaning it. Obviously it doesn't get as clean as if I were doing it, but after 20 minutes of DS1 waving a cloth around it's usually a bit cleaner than before!

Food shopping can be done online (I actually send DH, but he doesn't work very long hours).

The biggest problems I have are definitely frustration and feeling bad for DS1. Frustration not easily solved, but actually DS1 is usually happy as long as I'll sit and play with him while feeding.

Oh, and I feed in public a lot

maisie have you got a plan too for when you have DC1 to look after as well? Have you got yourself sorted with going to playgroups, friends to have a coffee with etc? Your local NCT might run a group too where you can take them both along and have a cuppa and a chat and meet some local Mums and Mums-to-Be.

I've also seen something on here about a bfing treasure box for the older DC. Didn't have one with my DC1 but then again I wasn't clever enough to think it up .

My constant feeder was my first so it was much easier but even he would settle for a little in the car or pushchair while we went to playgroup, nct or Bfing Support Group. I did go out most days, mainly for my own sanity, used to drive me crazy being sleep deprived and in the house all day, but with DC2 I think you need to get out sometimes even if its just for a walk and to exercise DC1 .

This might help with the nightimes too.

Think you have done brilliantly getting to 8 weeks with all those problems, you deserve a big shiney medal!

Look at what you've achieved already