Confusion over FF a 10 month old, and how to wean off formula by 12 months

[AnnaAndBump]

I breast fed my DD until 8 months when my supply completely dried up due to being pregnant with my second DC. As I never planned to FF I wasn't really sure what to do so I carried on our BF routine which was milk first thing (7oz), breakfast, lunch, 7oz of milk mid afternoon, dinner and then 7oz before bed. DD was happy, contented and sleeping really well. She did however start to noticeably "chunk up" :)

DD is now 10 months and I went to the HV to get her weighed where she had jumped up the centiles and I was then told I was doing everything wrong and should follow this pattern; breakfast then milk immediately afterwards, lunch then milk immediately afterwards, dinner then feed before bed. I was told to drop the after lunch feed ASAP. I started this new routine straightaway (dropping the lunch feed after a week) as I was upset I was seemingly doing something so wrong to my baby, despite previously thinking "food before 12 months is just for fun" and that milk provided the major nutrition my DD needed.

DD is now having 13oz of milk plus any milk etc in her food and I feel concerned I have dropped this so fast, plus she is having more snacks as is unsettled particularly in the afternoon.

This combined with the fact that
I am going back to work in two months and planned to stop all formula for when she start nursery has left me stressed and feeling like a rubbish Mum.

Sorry for the rambling but can anyone share their experiences so I know how to proceed! Thanks

I dont know why the hv had a problem with your previous routine as it was practically the same as mine when ds was that age. I never really gave milk at the same time as food either. At about 10 1/2 months ds did drop his mid afternoon milk and it was replaced with a snack and a drink of water. Prior to that his day was like this:

7am - milk
8am - breakfast
10/10.30am - snack and water
12pm - lunch
2.30pm - milk
5pm - dinner
7pm - milk

Up to 1 year they are supposed to have a minimum of 20oz per day inclusive of milk in cereal, in foods and other dairy. Your hv insisting on you reducing to 2 bottles is now taking away from the amounts your lo is supposed to take. If you and your lo were happy before then I see no reason to change what you were doing. At 1 year the minimum drops to around 12oz and you can switch to full fat cows milk - i did it gradually one feed at a time (i.e. gave cows milk in the am and formula pm for a few days and then did both as cows milk)

Your old routine sounds exactly normal to me - in fact it is the same as my breastfed 10 month old, except I offer a cup of cow's milk with his morning snack (not that he drinks it!). Maybe give the afternoon feed in a cup rather than a bottle and she'll naturally drop it herself?

I'm also planning to switch from bf to cow's milk at 12 months too.

Thanks for your advice Seona and Rita, I always say that I don't really trust the HV's and take what they say with a pinch of salt, but on this occasion it really sent me into a tail spin!!!

AnnaandBump this is almost exactly what happened to us - I stopped bfing at 9 months and went onto FF and DS chunked up hugely - the HV was so annoying about it (after previously telling me off all the time that he wasn't following the line and I needed to top up) that I lied and said I was still BFing

Anyhow, I would definitely not put food before milk in the morning, DS always wakes up starving (18m) and his cup of milk first thing keeps him occupied - there is no way I want to be getting up out of a warm bed to make his brekkie first thing.

At 9m he was having milk first thing, at about 3pm and then at bedtime, at 10.5m we dropped the afternoon feed. If your DD is unsettled in the afternoon I would be tempted to give her the afternoon feed.

Lurking our stories sound so similar, before I stopped BF-ing I always felt so under pressure to use formula as a top up as DD wasn't following the centiles!

Funnily enough DD seems more settled now, and doesn't seem to be hungry, except at breakfast, so much so she only had a small lunch and then a small dinner hours later. However she has taken to crying during some meals, mostly dinner, I wonder if this due to teething pain? I feel even more confused now! Think I'm going to stick with two milk feeds of 7oz and drop the volume of solids a little to ensure I'm not filling her up too much!! The joys of being a first time parent!

Agree milk first thing - DD is starving and won't wait!

What solids are you feeding? Are you BLW? I would be tempted to reinstate the afternoon feed - she may be crying because she is hungry and getting frustrated.

I'm not sure it is necessary to cut down on solids so she drinks more milk - you are trying to get to a point where she has 3 meals a day after all!

Thanks Digging no we aren't BLW-ing, she eats loads of different things and generally will eat anything put in front of her!

Just like me she doesn't seem to get full so I'm going to stick with three meals but just slightly decrease the quantity as I think she is getting so full she doesn't want to eat the other meals, she goes comfortably 5/6 hours between meals at the moment.

She has stopped being unsettled in the afternoon now, so dropping the lunchtime bottle hasn't seemed to have been a problem. I might start introducing a small amount of cows milk in a beaker if I think she wants something else.