bottle fed baby fussing/refusing feeds?! advice anyone?

[4madboys]

my dd who will be 12wks old has been getting more and more fussy with her feeds :(

she was bfed until almost 8wks when i moved her onto formula as althought she was gaining masses of weight she was a fussy bfeeder and it was stressing us both out.

she seemed to settle well onto bottles, only took 2-3oz to begin with and then built that up gradually to 4-5oz and she quite happily settled into her own little routine of going 4 hrs between feeds at day and 6hrs at night, nothing i did, i offered her little and often etc but she was never interested in feeding more often, tho occasionally she would feed after 3 and a half hours without a feed, but tbh she doesnt seem to be a big 'eater'. despite being a big baby, she is on the 91st percentile, for weight, length and head circumference, so a 'perfect' baby for the hv growth charts

she is not a chubby baby like my others were (she is no 5) more long and slim, but then al my others are also tall and my partner is as well so i think she is the weight she should be, so there really are no concerns over her growth etc.

but her feeding is just getting more upsetting for her :( the trick seems to be to get her happily sucking on a dummy (she uses it occasionaly during the day but sleeps happily at night without it) adn then to take the dummy out and get the bottle in, this doesnt always work tho and she then gets upset.

however other times she will feed better, or else she plays with the bottle and just lets the milk run out of her mouth, but the getting upset is becoming the norm ifyswim?

obviously i need to try and sort this, i dont want her feeds to be an upsetting event for her :(

i snuggle her closely, she gets eye contact and i give and get smiles etc sometimes when tired she settles and feeds better swaddled (she likes to be swaddled for sleep) but other than her being more likely to fuss if she is tired then i cant see a reason/pattern etc in her fussing/refusal to feed.

she is STILL sleeping well despite only taking 2-3 oz sometimes 4oz and happily goes 4 or more hours between feeds, last night she fed between 7:30-8pm and then i woke her at 2:30ish for a feed and then she woke at 8am but wasnt interested in feeding, eventually at 9am she took about 4oz but only by doing the dummy trick, she is now asleep again, she does seem to want to sleep a lot and gets grumpy if she doesnt get her sleep, (bit like me!) but she really is a very chilled out little thing, smiley and content :)

i have a drs app for her at 10:30 just to check she doesnt have sore throat/mouth/ears etc, but she doesnt seem ill.

any advice tips?

someone mentioned reflux to me, but she isnt a sicky baby at all, esp now she is on formula and she sleeps happily lying down, tho when awake she does prefer to be upright but will lie and play under her play gym so i dont think it can be reflux?

oh and she has never really cried for food, only when she is tired, she really is a very content little baby! other than the feeding times :(

btw not ignoring replies got to get all the kids ready and get to the drs for her appointment! :)

oh and i should have said she will 12wks this sunday! sorry

ok well i am back, saw a locum gp who tho seemed to think she was fine, tho he didnt look in her ears or mouth

however he did weigh her and she has dropped down the percentile a bit, she was 13lb 4oz at 8 weeks and is now at almost 12wks exactly 14lb but he wasnt bothered and nor am i, as she seems to just be going to be long and slim like her brothers :)

bizarrely we got into a debate about bfeeding!! he asked how she was fed and i said formula and then ds2 (who is 8yrs) piped up that he bfed until he was nearly 4 (he remembers feeding :) ) at which point the dr said that there was NO benefit in feeding past 6-12mths so i told him that he should do some research as actually that is WRONG and not good advice to give to mothers, he said he didnt want to aruge, i said nor did i but that he shouldnt be giving out wrong advice!

he then went on to tell ds4 (who is 2yrs) that he shouldnt be sucking his thumb as he is a big boy now!!

anyway he said to continue as we are for another week or so, and get her weighed regularly to see how she is doing and that maybe she has a bit of a virus that is knocking her appetite.

on a note he was actually rather good looking, a locum that i havent seen before! and he was very smitten with dd, raving about how cute, smiley etc she is :) but his veiws on bfeeding were and yes i get the irony that a bottle feeding mum is telling a gp that their advice on bfeeding is wrong!! lol

i was going to suggest thrush but if she is happily sucking her dummy but just not the bottle then it is probably not the case.

i know that with DD between 12-16 weeks she was an absolute nightmare to feed becuase she was faaaaar to busy being a looky loo. do you think that could be part of it?

Some people wont approve but we found feeding her in a quiet room helped and when she cottoned on to that, feeding her where she could see the TV with In The Night Garden or BabyTV on. She was transfixed and would take her milk without a drama then.

sorry, i meant to add that it might be she needs to move up a teat size. If it is too small for her now she might find it too frustrating and get upset.

The age brackets for the various teats are guidelines only. Some newborns start on size 2 and others never get past 1.

thanks sugar, yes she is easily distracted! tho sometimes it helps to have things going on as then she feeds without noticing.

she is on the 3mth plus teats and i think that flow is fine for her tbh, i think the 6mth ones would be too fast?

the tv trick is one that i did with ds4 actually so i may try that with her! thankyou.

her feed at lunchtime wasnt as bad as her one this morning, we were out, we had to stop midway as she pooed whilst feeding so had to do a nappy change and she took just over 4oz in the end, so not too bad, she is due a feed fairly soon, she will happily go 5 hrs tho, the hv suggested cutting her down to four feeds a day instead of the five she is having? but she seems very young for that imo.

it may just be a phase so i will see how she goes and see how her weight gain is.

oh the dr 'helpfully' told me to feed her when SHE wants to be fed, not when i want her to feed, but she DOESNT cry/fuss/ask for food, she only fusses and cries when tired, i mean she will happily go 6hrs without a feed at night and 5hrs during the day!! how long should i leave her if she isnt wanting a feed?!!

Hi, I realise this post is more than 3 years old but your daughter sounds exactly like my daughter right now who is 12 weeks also! Everything you described is exactly what we are going through and I just wondered if you found an explanation for it or if she grew out of it?My daughter has been like this for about a month now and has also had very runny loose stools since she was born. She is very content otherwise though, just the feeding is a problem. I thought she may have a milk allergy so will see the HV tomorrow.

Hi, I have the same problem cc28,i had a premature baby boy who was 32 weeks he is now 15 weeks his weight was 3lb 2Oz at birth he is now 8lb 3oz but he is such a fussy eater, he cries, pulls away screams but I need him 2 take his bottle,its taking me over an hour 2 give him 90ml but he feeds every 4 hours he has a feed at 8 & sleeps till 2.30am im worried he isn't gettin enuff feed as he won't take it all it spits out from the sid of his mouth & I don't no how much he is really getting, im so worried as he is a pre term baby, all I want is 2 enjoy feeding tome with him but it's no its horrid plz anyone who can help I would be very grateful thanks :)

Might be worth having a chat with your GP about silent reflux - this sounds v similar to DD xx