Windy baby I think...(she's only 1 week old)

[toomuchteaching]

So DD is 1 week old today and I am EBF. The feeding is going really well, she latches well and is producing a steady supply of lovely yellow poo! At her 5 day appointment she had only lost 70g (10% would've been 360g). We're feeding about every 2 hours.

This is all good, except that in between feeds she screams her head off, sometimes for hours. On night 4 she screamed on and off for 7 hours. Today she basically hasn't settled for a decent sleep all day, she's just done 40 minutes in DH's arms but that's the most. The other mums in my NCT class seem to be having the opposite problem - placid babies but struggling with feeding.

When she cries she thrashes her arms and legs around and looks really uncomfortable. She does panicky breaths and cries very insistently, but it can't be hunger.

We try winding her, and do get a few decent burps, but not enough to settle her until she's totally exhausted herself with crying.

Any advice gratefully received, as at the moment I'm not getting nearly enough sleep, and DH is having to take her away to attempt to settle her, just so I can try to get half an hour here and there. I realise it's early days, so I feel totally out of my depth in terms of knowing how to comfort her.

:( :(

Most likely reason is nothing to do with wind, just normal new baby need to be asleep in your arms, and not put down to sleep anywhere else.

Is she usually fine as long as she is held by you (or dh) close to or on the breast? Does she start to fuss and then cry when she is laid down somewhere else?

When you say it can't be hunger, have you tried putting her on the breast?

Well the midwife in hospital said if she'd fed for 30 minutes or more she wouldn't be hungry and we should put her down. I'm worried if I keep on feeding she'll get even windier.

In the long spells she cries even when one of us is holding her. She's sleeping on me now, but then she's been awake for most of the day.

It's the crazy thrashing of arms and legs, going red in the face and breathing fast that really bothers me. That can't be normal...

That's rubbish advice from the midwife - lots of babies feed for longer than 30 minutes! It's important to let her feed for as long as she wants, until she comes off the breast herself, and then offer the other side. My ds was feeding for up to an hour a time as a newborn.

Try feeding her whenever she wants for as long as she wants - she might be hungry.

Agree with Moonunit- even if she is not hungry then the breast may soothe her.

Have you tried putting her in a sling and see if that calms her?

Hope things improve as I know that hearing a baby cry can be distressing.

I think the thrashing is normal. My DS was a poos-a-lot newborn too, the best explanation I was given is that the bowel muscles are really ineffecient at that age and she's just working really hard. If you can distract her and it'll happen naturally.

Also try feeding her skin to skin, then once she's calmed down, swaddle her and put her back on the breast till she falls asleep. Then grab asmuch sleep asyou can.

Good luck, hope this helps.

Shockingly poor information from the midwife - truly bad :( :(

You cannot feed a baby by the clock - some babies take less time, some babies more, and some babies will take more/less at different times.

Never be frightened to feed your baby and comfort her - her distress is very likely because she needs you to be close and the breast to be available - it's all she knows about! A week ago she was inside you, feeding as and when she felt like it, with your voice, and your body, familiar to her and enclosing her. No, red faced thrashing and screaming is not normal at all - it's a sign of distress. Just feed her! :)

No experienced advice as DS is only 2 weeks old but offering sympathy as that's so hard to deal with. Can sympathise with how shattered you must be .

DS does the wailing and red-faced thrashy / rigid body thing (usually on and off between 10 pm - 1am having slept like an angel for most of the day) but I can't imagine how simply hellish 7 hours would be. Also agree that feeding for as long as baby wants may help. I feed till DS falls off the boob with his eyes rolling in his head, then wind and get him down while he's still blissed out in a milk stupor. If he starts seeming stressed again I see if he will take a bit more boob. Mostly yes, sometimes no, but seems worth checking he was definitely sated, not just having a breather between courses. (Put on 5oz in first week).

My problem is that he prefers to sleep on me than in the cot, but that's a minor issue compared to yours!
Good luck!

Thank you so much everyone... I've tried feeding for longer and every time she cries and we haven't had a scary wailing session all day. Fingers crossed we can keep this up. It does mean I've not had very much sleep and she's spent a lot of time on my boob, including some 3 minute "feeds" where she's obviously just using me for comfort (which is what that MW told me I had to avoid) but at least my sanity is intact today, even if I'm desperate for a snooze.

Thank you again... it does rather perturb me that a MW can give such crap advice.

There is nothing wrong with comfort feeding - your baby is tiny of course you should comfort her! Breastfeeding is designed to comfort, why would you avoid that?

I remember points in that first couple of weeks where I was so tired I hallucinated. My DD took a lot longer than 30 mins a feed and hated being put down. Comfort feeding is completely normal, I still do this sometimes and DD is 19 months. If you don't want to comfort feed every time you could try lying down with her her on your chest surrounded by cushions if she has already fed and fallen off the breast naturally. That way maybe you could get some sleep too. Or like others have said a sling, it must be strange to a newborn (who rely mainly on their sense of smell) to be used to moving around inside you, then to come into the outside world and associate security with your smell to be put down away from that security. In other cultures they carry their babies with them all the time on their backs and that is seen as normal.

If you really want to be able to put her down like others have said try swaddling and I hear that these are very good and play heartbeat sounds that soothe newborns.

A tiny baby shouldn't be allowed to suck for comfort?

This is just awful.

Sucking and gaining comfort and closeness and pleasure is totally developmentally appropriate.

What is wrong with this midwife?

So... this evening she basically hasn't been off my boob since 6pm... apart from the odd little sleep. Normal?? I reckon she's done 10 poos today too. But then we haven't had any wailing sessions either.

I will be able to settle her some other way apart from feeding eventually right?

Yes, eventually! Feeding to sleep is a great tool to have in the early weeks/months though. The cluster feeding doesn't last forever either, but it is totally normal.

More info here on cluster feeding in the evenings. That Kellymom website has loads of good info on normal breastfed baby behaviour, growth spurts, problems etc.

Yes, of course you will

Being close to you is a need. Don't listen to any "rod for your back" pish.

I recommend getting a sling so you can keep her close but still manage to get yourself a cup of tea

Yes you will, don't worry. My DD fed a lot too (and pooed) a lot, and took maybe an hour or more to feed sometimes.
I don't have to settle her by feeding any more, and haven't done in a long time (she's ten months now).

Evening cluster feeding is very common in the early weeks/months as they are hungriest then and your milk supply is at it's lowest. If you wanted to when she's around 6 weeks you could try expressing and topping her up with EBM in the early evening to try to get a bit of a break. This worked a treat for me.

hi toomt it does sound like cluster feeding and that you're just working together to get milk supplies right- just stay in bed with her and go with it- it will settle down. My milk took 5 days to come in with ds so I had some bad days too while we got feeding settled. I ended up resorting to a dummy as he was also comfort sucking and I needed to give my boobs a break one evening. I know they are not a popular choice but it helped me get some rest so thought I'd mention it x

Hang in there it will get easier she is still very tiny and you won't be creating any "bad" habits re sleeping and feeding at this early stage- just cuddling and feeding is all they want (me too come to think of it!!! )