Bridesmaid the month after giving birth - would you??

[littlemissturquoise]

My friend is getting married next year at end of July and has asked me to be her bridesmaid. What an honour, however I am pregnant just now with my second baby and am due mid June.

I was a bridesmaid when my first baby was three and a half months old and as I was breastfeeding I found it mega stressful. I was so worried about leaking boobs, being apart all day and all night from my baby and I had to pump and dump in the sink in the hotel whilst everyone drunk cocktails in the sun after the ceremony!

So I think I will decline this offer of being a bridesmaid next year as I would have a 4-6 week old baby.

What are your thoughts? Know anyone who has been a bridesmaid with a new baby of just a few weeks?

I would thank her but decline gracefully. I wonder if she has asked you because she expects you to decline in any case. I don't mean she has asked you out of duty, but because you'd be first choice.

I'd find it stressful. Bridesmaid dresses aren't the most flattering for the post-natal figure. If you want to breastfeed then it would be such an early stage you'd want to be at it fairly frequently.

I think I would decline with regret too. Then you can just be there as a guest, have your baby with you, wear something you can easily breastfeed in and maybe actually enjoy yourself :)

my friend was her sisters bridesmaid,2 days after the birth.Her mum minded the baby during the ceromony,and then she took over later on..Id still be in my pjs at home..

No. I was lucky to have time to wash my hair at 4 weeks! I would have been knackered & looked like shit. The last thing I would have wanted is a bunch of people staring at me.

Ooh I have been asked to do this next year as well!

I am just hoping (perhaps I am being unrealistic) that the bride will just have to accept that I'll not always be available, or if I am I may have a baby on my boob!

It is not a massively formal wedding, there won't be hours of photo taking etc - I'm just worried that the baby will need fed during the ceremony!

Sorry, have just re-read your OP and see that you are not thinking of having baby with you - would it be different if you took him/her along?

I wouldn't do it, sorry and all that - just the dreadful timing. You just simply don't feel your best or have the head for stuff like that a month after a baby arriving, as OP has already said. Hopefully you can let her down gently and just take the pressure off yourself so you can all enjoy her big day :)

Thanks heaps everyone for your thoughts. The wedding was originally going to be the first weekend in June when I was going to be 39 weeks. Since I was only a few weeks pregnant I had not yet told my friend I was expecting when she asked me to be her b- maid. With regret, I had to decline.

Then my friend phoned last night and left a message to say that they had changed the date and did I want to be b-maid, but there was no pressure. I don't know as yet what she is even thinking with regards to having babies and children at the wedding, so don't know if it would be an option to have baby with me. I am going to phone her tomorrow. She is incredibly understanding about everything so will be cool with whatever I want to do.

If it's not too formal a wedding and you can go with the baby attached and leave as and when you need to, it'd probably be OK. But if you're separated from your new DC and having to express into the sink... I think any good friend would understand why you'd want to decline.

I think it'd depend on the wedding...

I'd refuse. I was out and about at 4 weeks, but I wasn't feeling pretty, and I couldn't stand for long periods of time comfortably, and I was pretty much totally attached to the baby... so no, I'd say how kind you are to ask me, but no thanks. It sounds like she's a great friend and will understand. :)

I was bridesmaid 5 wks after dd2 but I wasn't bf ing. It was a very odd feeling leaving her but I had a great time.
Different if you re bf ing though. Not many bridesmaids dresses are easy to bf in!