I wonder why they self-wean when they do....

[whatagradeA]

Just musing really. My DS has just stopped bf at 21 and a half months and DD was 18 and a half months. I'm a bit hacked off with them that we didn't manage 2 years as per WHO guidelines

I also realised that they both dropped thier last (bedtime) feed at about the same time they dropped thier naps.

Does anyone know of any reasons why they stop when they do or is it just random?

Thanks for humouring me

My ds2 stopped just before 11 months. I at least wanted to make it to a year. I was actually quite cross with him .

I think with my ds2 he just didn't want to stop doing the activity he was doing. He was on the go all the time and didn't want to do anything that would stop him from moving and being able to look around. I think he was always worried he was going to miss something.

Good point tutu although both of mine only had bedtime milk by the end. But lol at them not meeting our targets

My DS1 also stopped at 11 months. At the time I was relieved as he was biting me a lot. But now I wish I'd persevered through the biting stage, although it's possible the biting was because he'd had enough. I remember the last time I tried to feed him he refused to latch on and struggled. As soon as I stopped and just held him he went to sleep instantly. poor mite was obviously thinking why is that stupid woman trying to ram this stuff down my throat when i'm so tired!

DS2 fed until 22 months. i was a bit irritated that he didn't keep going until aged 2! I think he wanted to drink 'proper' milk like his big brother!

DS3 is 22 months now and still feeds three or four times a day so I'm hopeful that we'll make it this time! Hope so as this is my last chance!

I'm very curious too, dd seems to be self weaning at 11 months and I'm seriously hacked off I can't make it to a year :o Why on earth do we punish ourselves like this? On a serious note though tutu, did you switch to formula when your ds2 stopped? I can't decide what to do... switch to formula or just keep plugging on to a year and then go on to cow's milk from a cup.

I did try giving ds2 formula, but it made him very sick and he has since been diagnosed with dairy intolerance (just to make me feel even worse about him stopping bf!).

His consultant was surprised that I'd bothered trying formula as he said (if ds2 hadn't been dairy intolerant) that cow's milk would have been fine by then.

Ds2 never took a bottle so had a sippy cup and I think that may have been another reason why he stopped bf. I think he found it less effort to drink from the sippy cup.

I knew my bf days were over when ds2 wouldn't even feed when he woke in the night. I did persevere for 2 weeks, but there's only so much nipple biting a woman can take before I had to take the hint.

DS stopped because my supply had dropped off during pregnancy and then I think when DD arrived he associated breastfeeding with babies.

DD stopped (earlier than DS) because DH had been working abroad from when she was about 8 months to when she was about 18 months, and when he came back she developed a major Daddy-fixation and wasn't interested in me when he was around, which included breastfeeding.

DD didn't want to latch on after about 5 and half months. DS was 9 months.

Weaning is quit an intesting topic, there is some intersting reading on kellymom's website www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/index.html

I think often the way we wean onto solids foods in Weston countries encourages children to wean eailer then they would if we lived in a more natural environment for our species.

DD stopped at 2years10minths but that was with some encouragement from me as I was pregnant. I'm quite sure she would have carried on if I'd let her.

Thanks Mig I'll have a look at that. Thanks for everyone's replies.

DD1 was 3.6 y/o and she gradually lost the ability to latch over about two weeks. I thought it was because I was pg with DD3 (didn't twig that DD2 nursing didn't hurt) and one day she just couldn't latch on. She kept poking her tongue out and gurning trying to make it feel 'right' but she just couldn't. I had a look in her mouth and she had some big gaps at the back of her jaw where the next set of molars would go. Apparently that is what happens when children physiologically self wean - their jaw grows to the next stage and they no longer can latch on to bfeed.

Katherine Dettwyler has some great info about how humans natural weaning age compares to other mammals here. Really fascinating reading.

Thanks Truth. That's interesting. So why did mine wean so early!! They don't fit into any of the normal mammal timescales!!

I'm loathe to say as I think 18 m and 21 m are both really good ages to bf to in the UK and you did a fantastic job to get there.

But.....it could be anything from early introduction of solids/over reliance on solids, restrictions of feeds in public (if you don't NIP and are out and about a lot, baby then becomes used to feeding less when at home relying more on solids/water), offering solids instead of nursing, not nursing for comfort, pregnancy, use of bottles/dummies, nursing strike, etc, etc.

Or if could be yours were just done with bfing early.

The reasons for early weaning are very complex and like with most things child related bloody contrary!

You're probably right actually. I didn't tend to feed in public from about 6months with DC1 and 9m-a year with DC2. It was never a problem not to - they weren't bothered but I suppose if I had continued to offer they were have continued to have it.

Thank you.