Tips for bfriend re feeding her newborn, she feels like giving up...

[milki]

Hello,

I'm looking for some tips/advice I can give my best friend about breastfeeding. Her DD is almost a week old and she is finding it v painful - her m/w has checked her latch and it is apparently ok, and she was in hosp for 3 days post birth so got a lots of help with latch and position, she also says she is confident that it is ok. Her prob is painful nipples. I have tried to gently tell her this is normal (I do have experience bfding my two DDs) and that the first'ish week is HARD. I really want to offer her some useful, practical advice because she is talking about stopping and I'm worried she will regret it. Her main concern is that her DP is going back to work soon and she feels like she won't cope with the pain of feeding along with everything else when he's not there to help.

I was thinking about getting her some nipple shields, anyone recommend them? I used them briefly with my DD1 but we ended up getting thrush and I have a feeling it was connected - correct me if I'm wrong.

I, of course, support whatever she feels is right for her and her child but if there is anything that I could (gently) suggest she try I think she would be open to help.

Thanks in advance.

Hi Milki, my first piece of advice would be to get her onto MN and show her this thread

Haven't got any advice regarding the painful nipples sorry apart from getting her to talk to a bfing counsellor, preferably face-to-face. Do you know if there are any bfing counsellors local to your friend that she could talk to?

Whay sort of pain? I found mine were hypersensitive and tingly all the time for the first couple of weeks.

I have 3 dc all bf, with the first I came very close to giving up.
The first 2 weeks are hard and painfull but in the long term if you can stick with it, it is soo worth it... No getting up to make bottles in the night, not having to buy expensive milk al lthe time, no having to listen to dc scream while you are makin/cooling bottles oh and the proud feeling you get knowing that you did it.

Yes, what sort of pain is it? There's a good summary here about different sorts of pain and the cause.

If the nipple is cracked or grazed then some lansinoh would help.

I am inclined to think that even if the latch is right, there is likely to be some pain just because the nipple is not used to that sort of wear and tear.

Definitely see if there is a breastfeeding support group around that your friend can visit.

It's good that she's got a supportive and encouraging friend to see her through the difficult, early days of bfing.

Just had another quick chat to friend, she is saying that actually it is the whole boob that is painful now. Sounds like engorgement to me - anyone agree? Anything else (thrush, mastitus) after only 5 or so days would be unlikely wouldn't it?

So best tips for engorgement please......

You can get pads that you put in the fridge that slot into your bra - I found mine in Sainsburys for £10. They help a bit as does paracetamol. Mine got better after 2 or 3 day, but were excruciatingly painful for a time. Hope she feels better soon.

whenever my boobs really hurt a hot bath seemed to help

cold savoy cabbage leaves in your bra can be very soothing.

Mastitis is quite common in the first couple of weeks, see here for information about it. Midwife should be able to diagnose mastitis.

I would recommend nipple shields if it's a choice between using them and stopping but it would be better if she can manage without (I used them for 5 weeks though with no real problems).

Probably best thing is to see a breast feeding counsellor or at least phone one of the helplines. And encourage her that it's so worth persevering through the tough early stages - life will be much easier in the long run.

If her breasts are painful, she needs to see a midwife - the breastfeeding counsellor she sees would refer her to a midwife anyway, if there was any suspicion of mastitis.

Her baby is a week old - she is still under the midwife's care and someone should come and see her today.

My DS is a week old today, so same age as your friends' DD.

So far my nipples have been sore as they initially cracked and had scabs on, but now the scabs have healed I would say that the pain at the start of each feed is reducing.

My milk came in quickly on day 2 and from days 2-5 I felt engorged to the point on being painful all over my breasts, my nursing bras were also a bit too small which was making me feel constricted. The last two days have been better and I feel full rather than painfully so.

I found having a hot deep bath let my breasts "lose" a little milk helped enormously with the discomfort of engorgement. I also went and bought bigger bras which cheered me up.

I would also say that when your friends' DH goes back to work bottles are going to be so much harder work than breast where you can just flip on the tv and get your boobs out

This is my second DS and TBH I remember this from first time round, but I know this time that it doesn't last too long and it is worth it once you have got past the initial few weeks.

I've never bottle fed - I had excruciating let down & mastitis in the first couple of weeks but I carried on because I didn't want to get stuck with the huge hassle that is formula feeding (amongst other reasons)
For an easy life when she is on her own she's much better off sticking out these first few weeks. Short term pain, long term gain