Positive chat/ goals/ highlights.

[Orchidflower1]

Hi all,
Last year was turbulent for many of us both in RL and our MN family. So, at the start of a new year, I wanted to start a thread to focus on the positives we’re looking forward to. To appreciate our blessing this year ( big and small) to chat through things and celebrate our lives. Every day chit chat welcome as well!

All regulars, lurkers and readers welcome to share with the caveat that we are here to raise each other up; there is enough in life to bring us down.

So here a my things to get us going-

This year I really want to focus on my health; in body, mind and spirit. I recognise now that making time for me and doing things that I want (or don’t want) is not selfish. My family need me to be well to help the family function.

Ok that was a heavier subject- on a lighter note I’m going to try to be better organised about laundry. As a large household it’s a never ending chore but I’m going to try and crack it. To be fair the mild weather the last few days has got me off to a flier with catching up over Christmas!

I’d really like to take more day trips this year. The dc are getting bigger and don’t always want to come out with us but even if it’s just me and Mr orchid I will try and get out more.

Hope everyone is well.

This is a nice topic, don’t get me wrong, but it boggles my mind why you'd post it here. Seeing as you've said you're Mixed - White and Indian, and you're welcoming "all regulars, lurkers and readers to share".

It seems like you're asking everyone to join in like you usually do, you're not asking Black women to share anything from a varied Black perspective - which is what this board is for - so I'm not sure why you posted here instead of the general Chat board where it should be.

You've mentioned we, us, our - who're you referring to, Black mumsnetters or all mumsnetters? If only Black mumsnetters, why? Why have you (a non-Black woman) sought us out to talk about a general topic.

If you mean all mumsnetters, then why post it here? Why are you "all lives matter" -ing this board as a non-Black woman? This isn't the first or the second time.

Seems that even "allies" won't let Black women have anything and talk among themselves. Why am I not surprised?

@Orchidflower1 what a great idea for a thread. Good riddance to 2021, its been dreadful. In 2022 I wish for peace, feeling contenf and calm. I need to rebuild mysself in more ways than one and I am not sure how to do that. My "dig deep" reserves are gone and I need to build them up again. I need to regain my health. I have become obese and my mental health is shot to pieces. No need to fix me. Also need to support ds1 with his schooling. He loves his new school but we need to figure out how to help his attainment. We are at crossroads somewhat at home as my husband I have a slightly different view on how to best move forward. This ended up not being as light hearted as i intended but ill be back with happier thoughs. Best wishes for 2022!

Ah another non-Black "ally".

Hot on the heels too, as usual.

@Lndnmummy I know what you mean about healthy mind, healthy body- always here to listen. Sometimes if you’re feeling lost in things you just need to start small. Set a little tiny goal and work towards that.

@PutTheSinkInTheWashingMachine I’m sorry if you don’t like my thread, hopefully other regulars will enjoy the spirit in which it was meant.

By anyone, I was meaning the BMN community, some of whom post, some of whom just read.

This was meant to be a nice thread to start the year off in a positive way; hence here not general chat.

@Orchidflower1 - thanks for this. I have been having long walks and although I haven't made any resolutions I've been thinking about the things that will make me feel better this year.

Taking better care of myself and doing the things I enjoy eg long walks are high on the agenda. I'd also like to declutter the house (and tangentially the mind) although this is very difficult for me - attachment issues

hopefully other regulars will enjoy the spirit in which it was meant.

Oh I'm sure some will.

Carry on. Y'all have taken over/will take over BMN.

Thanks Op - great thread to start.
2021 has been a pretty uneventful year. just existing and coasting along with very little achieved. So I am disappointed but also saying goodbye to 2021 and raising the bar very low I'm afraid with a plan to go for a walk starting at just once a week, which I know doesn't sound like much but I'm trying to do small things that I can achieve so I don't become overwhelmed and ultimately disappoint myself. Hopefully I will look back at this post in 2023 with a sense that this year I have made some small gains

@PutTheSinkInTheWashingMachine - one black woman to another - what are the things that would make your life better this year?

@PutTheSinkInTheWashingMachine I know you have a stronflg dislike for me. There are often jibes coming my way from you. All I have done, on this occasion os to respond to a thread that I was invited to post on. That's all. I was invited to respond by someone I have built a raporf with over many months/years. Since its inception many women who frequent this board have bonded, become friends if you like. We check in with one another, ask for recepies, advice, cheer eachother on. As friends do. To my mind, this friendship/engagement/dialogue was formed out of this safe space. This space brought us - black women and yes allies (I note your sarcasm)
together. We found strength and solace together in this space. We connected, bonded and supported one another. When I post here, it is to communicate with a group of women that I have formed a relationship with.

@Maggiethecat
Yes I definitely need to increase the walking so good for physical and mental health. The combination of the darker nights and since we lost DDog have meant I’ve not walked much at all.

@Denzelstowel hey walking seems to be a theme for a goal this year.

If you’ve had a quiet year, in many ways that’s a good thing given the state of the world at the moment.

[quote Orchidflower1]@Maggiethecat
Yes I definitely need to increase the walking so good for physical and mental health. The combination of the darker nights and since we lost DDog have meant I’ve not walked much at all.[/quote]
Sounds it's time for a new dog!

I found myself out walking by the beach recently and stayed there after dusk reading my book by phone torch. Didn't realise that part of the walk home was via a long road with no streetlamp - pitch black and closed to vehicular traffic. Needless to say I was bricking it!

Won't be doing that again but will defo be doing lots of walking

I know you have a stronflg dislike for me. There are often jibes coming my way from you.

Wouldn't have bothered to respond except to say that I've only spoken to you twice - once when you decided to lead Black women out of BMN, like a saviour. And here. This post will make it three times.

No need to mention the time I got an indirect jibe from you and your friends calling me a troll but I chose to ignore it. Did you think I didn't notice because you weren't as direct? Was that also a "strong dislike" from you? Or is the intensity a Black woman only emotion?

If you feel more jibes towards you, you'd need to ask yourself why you feel that way. I say what I want to say, if the shoe fits...

Do carry on with your thread.

Black women out of BMN

Well, away from mumsnet, that should say.

Oh my @Maggiethecat I would be terrified! What was the book? Must have been good!

@Orchidflower1 - aptly “Small Pleasures” by Clare Chambers.

A very apt title @Maggiethecat!

Not quite so enjoyable but in the focus of my goals, I’ve just put the washer on- thought I’d try and get ahead of myself with what’s in the baskets (yes plural!) as it’s bed change day today which is two loads on its own!

I read somewhere about habit stacking. Essentially do one new think a week (or day or whatever). So by the end of the year you could potentially have established 50 odd new habits. Big and small, baby steps and all that. I wanted to start my first habit with walking but I am isolating at the moment so started with drinking 2l waters a day. I am rubbish at it so hoping I can stick with it.

Ooh that’s interesting @Lndnmummy I’ve never heard of habit stacking. I’m trying to drink more water too. I’m having a soft start to a diet too. We’ve still got loads of Christmas stuff that I don’t want to waste but trying to offset that with more fruit, veg and water.

Also sorry you’re isolating. Hope you’re not too poorly and the dc can go back to school later in the week.

Some more info here: jamesclear.com/habit-stacking

Thanks @Lndnmummy.

How is everyone today?

What's the point in having a BLACK (keyword is BLACK) MN board if non black people, such as yourself OP, are using it to start threads and find 'allies' when it's not a space that's been created for you? I find that really strange and quite intrusive.

You could have posted this on the Chat board, the Multicultural board or somewhere completely different. You literally have the whole of MN available to you. However you start a supportive thread on the BLACK MN board even though this isn't a space that was created for you? Very interesting.

If there was an Asian board I never start threads or comment on a post because I'm simply not Asian. Yet here you are even though you're not black. Very interesting indeed

@PutTheSinkInTheWashingMachine

This is a nice topic, don’t get me wrong, but it boggles my mind why you'd post it here. Seeing as you've said you're Mixed - White and Indian, and you're welcoming "all regulars, lurkers and readers to share".

It seems like you're asking everyone to join in like you usually do, you're not asking Black women to share anything from a varied Black perspective - which is what this board is for - so I'm not sure why you posted here instead of the general Chat board where it should be.

You've mentioned we, us, our - who're you referring to, Black mumsnetters or all mumsnetters? If only Black mumsnetters, why? Why have you (a non-Black woman) sought us out to talk about a general topic.

If you mean all mumsnetters, then why post it here? Why are you "all lives matter" -ing this board as a non-Black woman? This isn't the first or the second time.

Seems that even "allies" won't let Black women have anything and talk among themselves. Why am I not surprised?

@PutTheSinkInTheWashingMachine has hit the nail on the head with this post👏