March 2018 (Part 3)

[Poochieblue]

Hi, Just thought I would start this before we ran out of space on part 2 and we all got lost again :-)

Link to Part 2 here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2983783-March-2018-Part-2?

Hope that works and hope i'm not stomping on someone's toes xx

Hi Ladies, bit of a stressful night for us. Went to the toilet last night and had the smallest amount of light brown/slight pink discharge when I wiped. Called nhs 24 hour and between talking to nurses/drs and waiting for people to call me back the whole process took over 4 hours.
They said that as it wasn't fresh red blood and I didn't have any pain and had it confirmed that baby isn't ectopic to just rest and keep an eye on it.
Called EPU this morning to make sure and they said the same that it can be bit of erosion on cervix or purely hormonal and to just keep them updated if it doesn't stop or changes in any way. So I'm now lay in bed for the day watching crappy TV not trying to overthink things.
However I did just have a lovely morning session of throwing up bile which I usually despise but couldn't help but not mind it happening this morning.
12 week scan can't come soon enough!

So I got hold of the midwife and its as I expected, I've had a screen positive for Downs. They risk has come back at 1-50. Luckily the risks for T18 and T13 are in the 1000's.

Now to make a choice, I want quick answers so I can stop stressing. I can obviously seen the benefits of going private for the NIPD tests but would I then still need an invasive test if those results come back positive and how long do you wait for the results? I've read 10 days?! Or I can have a referral to Kings today and have the 100% results back before the end of next week but with the risks of it being invasive. Have any of you been in a similar situation before and what did you do?

Bollocks!!!! Part of me wishes I lived 100 years ago when none of this testing was around and we just got on with it.

That's rough news MinervaMouse, but 1:50 means only a 2% chance that the baby actually has Downs, so you have every reason to stay positive for now, particularly with your good NT score. I'm still waiting for my results. If I get the same result as you, then I suppose I'll call around to find out the fastest possible testing result. Back when I was born, they didn't even do scans except emergencies or suspected multiples; I agree that might have been easier than being faced with choices. Good luck whatever you decide to do, fingers staying firmly crossed here for you.

Sorry to hear that Minerva. I can't help I'm afraid as I refuse all Downs tests. Hope the others can be more useful.

By the way I get awful travel sickness but no sickness in 3 pregnancies.

@Minervamouse77 that's sounds stressful for you, sorry to hear that you're having to make these kind of decisions.

Have you read Expecting Better by Emily Oster? She has a brilliant chapter on the risks of antenatal testing so I'd recommend downloading it if you can.

Ultimately it's your decision as to further testing, if you would be happy to raise a child with downs and don't feel the risks of invasive testing are worth it you could just leave it as it is. The 20 week scan could show further abnormalities or a normal baby though.

From the sound of things you want to know for sure and the only way to do that is the invasive tests - CVS or amniocentesis. CVS is more advanced but can only be done between 11-14 weeks. They carry similar risks of miscarriage of around 1/600 - 1/800 (the 1/200 figure quoted by the nhs is wildly out of date).

This was all in the book and NHS screening booklets, I haven't got that far personally (first baby) but I read as much as I can about everything because I can't help myself!

There's nothing I can add that hasn't already been said @Minervamouse77, I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you

Thanks all,
Bluebell, yes I've read Expecting Better, great book and I read that chapter again this morning. We've booked a harmony test for this afternoon and we'll go from there. DP wasn't happy about me having the invasive test even though the risks aren't that great.

@Minervamouse77 I did quite a lot of research into the NIPT before having it and, whilst it is not technically diagnostic, it is 99% accurate for Downs with a lower accuracy figure for the other Trisomies. I had NIPT on a Friday and received the results by phone on the following Thursday. Whilst it isn't technically diagnostic, it doesn't carry the miscarriage risk of the NHS diagnostic tests, so it may be a useful but safe tool to aid your decision making. I hope you get an answer quickly, 2% isn't a big risk but is understandably big enough to be a worry. Fingers crossed for you.

@minervamouse77 sorry to hear you're going through this stress. I don't know a lot about the chances/high risk and low risk etc I should probably read up on it but I am keeping everything crossed that the Harmony test brings you the result you want.
I actually know people who have had a the test on the NHS and come out 'high risk' but then had a low risk reading after Harmony.

Hello, can I join this friendly group. I've been lurking around the group and following the progress, but after a miscarriage in Jan I was reluctant to join another group until I was sure. So today I had my 1st scan and I jumped forward a little, so I'm 13+3, EDD march 5. A wave of relief came over me after the scan and I'm hoping that lasts at least 48hours

Hi @suntraveller welcome! Sorry to hear your news about mc before - there are a few of us in the same boat so we know exactly how you feel :) Congrats on the scan - that's great. I know what you mean about short lived relief - I had a scan at eight weeks which was good but you're righ, the reassurance last approx 48 hours if that :D

Scanxiety, coined upthread, is a genius description for the feeling before, after and inbetween scans!

Hi suntraveller
We have the same EDD, we too had our scan today the little Aubergine was really wriggling so they struggled with the measurements a little. All seems very real now :)

Hi @CCBloom1 that scan is so clear! Wonderful. Mine was at 11+4 so not as detailed as yours. Fascinating!

I am sooooooooo tired today. I've had two long days and I am really feeling it today.

Nice to see healthy scan pics. Those of you who have had an mc/mmc, how long did it take to conceive afterwards? I'm so down, and I can't bear the thought of it taking ages.

Aww flat, huge hugs.

It took 9 months after my first mc which was a natural mc at 8 weeks, and 3 months after my mmc. I hope it's quick for you.

@flatwhite31 good to hear from you. So sorry to hear you're feeling really down, it's so rough and you just have to take each day as it comes.
For me it took seven months BUT we didn't try for the first three or four months after the MC as I just wasn't ready. My SIL however conceived the month after one MC and two months after another, and both went on to be successful pregnancies.
I've heard you're super fertile after a miscarriage but I can't say 100% if this is true as can't remember where I heard it. I also know that although doctor's say to wait for your period first, it's more to do with dating a future pregnancy that anything else.

Everyone is different and for me my body felt quite alien to me afterwards and it took a bit of time to get my head around which is why I left it for a while. But once we tried properly, tracking ovulation etc, it took 2-3 months.

Sorry, this is really really long but hope it helps xx

Sorry should have said 8 months after first. Fat fingers.

Thanks ladies. It's all just so unfair. I did everything right, yet this has happened. I'm my job I've worked with social services and pregnant mums who smoke, yet I my baby was the one who died. It's not fair.

I can feel myself spiralling into a depression which is very unlike me. I'm on holiday in Italy and just want to be at home with my front door shut. We are supposed to be going to a gig in a couple of weeks, and I don't want to go. I just don't want to do anything, as I'm trying to keep busy in Italy but not actually enjoying any of it. I've cried at every restaurant and have had to remove myself from the pool area every day as I just sit there and cry. My poor DH must feel so helpless. As for work, the thought of it is sending me into a panic. I'm worried the ERPC has damaged my womb as I'm still getting pains. I don't even have the security of one child (i.e. Knowing I can carry a pregnancy to full term). Sorry to put such a downer of a post on this board, but I know some of you have been where I currently am.

Hi @FlatWhite31, it seems quite natural to me that you'd cry in every restaurant, I'm sure many of us would be the same. You need to grieve. I had a chemical pregnancy a couple of years ago, unplanned back then but even so early it was hard. Maybe it will help you to lean on your DH more, it sounds like he needs to know what to do and you need someone to lean on, so tell him he can help by providing hugs and just letting you ramble when you need to talk. If he knows it's helpful then at least it gives him something to do. And bin the sight-seeing, concert etc - you can do all that another time, just focus on the two of you healing.

Did the hospital say anything about when you could try to conceive again? Personally I'd see no harm in trying immediately, you're upset because you loved that little one and you're ready to be a mum, you won't forget it by getting pregnant but it will help you in other ways. We didn't try until recently, our relationship was too new back then, but I did notice in passing that one of our group who had a much earlier miscarriage joined the April thread as newly pregnant, which made me feel really happy for her. Lots of women miscarry unfortunately, it's so painful but at this point it doesn't make you any less likely to be able to carry a baby to term than the next woman. Many sympathies.

Thank you @Excited0803. Part of me just wants to be on my own so I can focus on my own emotions. I know that's really selfish which, again, is really unlike me as DH and I are normally really really close. The doctor said to start trying after my next period, whenever that will be. I'm worried it'll take ages though, as my job is extremely tiring and stressful.

I just feel so betrayed by my own body. How on earth did I get to 12 weeks with no signs? It's utterly baffling. I was vomiting on the day I found out, so it's not even as if my pregnancy symptoms had gone. I didn't post this on here as I didn't want to tempt fate (oh the irony) but I had a healthy 8 week scan too, so that's a further stab in the heart.

We're all different @FlatWhite, and you must do what you feel like. Just from my experience, sometimes I think I want to be on my own, but what I really need is a big hug to sob into. Can you afford to take some time off just to relax, both now and early into your next pregnancy, or move to working part-time? The extra rest may help a little. Your body did let you down this time, it's baffling how our bodies can miss the signs for so long when they're supposed to be looking after the baby. That doesn't mean it'll let you down next time though, so be ready to give it another chance.

@Flatwhite31 I conceived DD1 three cycles after my mmc but I last miscarried in June and didn't have a period at all before conceiving the baby that I am currently pregnant with.

Hi FlatWhite I had a MMC in March at 12 weeks, the baby had died at 8 weeks. It was the hardest thing I've ever been through. We gave ourselves a couple of months to grieve and then started trying again. We conceived on our first month of trying, I'm 13 weeks today and everything is going ok.
Straight after the MMC I thought I'd never get over it, I still think about it every day (the due date is the end of September) but it does get easier

Your story gives me hope @Tiberius12. I'm still bleeding and in quite a bit of pain at times, so I can't even imagine DTD, but they said to wait two weeks at least. It does seem like the worst thing ever at the moment. I'm already worried about it happening again in the future.