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Jue in June 2011....... third trimesters here we come!!!!!

978 replies

Clarkiee · 08/03/2011 19:39

Hello,
Started a new thread ladies, fingers crossed it works xx

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
NurseSunshine · 03/04/2011 19:18

Sorry, going to have a moan. Feel free to skip over to something a bit more cheery.

I can't help but feel sad about being on my own. At antenatal everyone else has their loving and supportive partners and I'm there with my mum. (I know you can't tell what poeple's lives are like and all that but I'm pretty sure they at least quite like the fathers of their children and vice versa).
I just feel sad, about being on my own, about my baby not having a father around all the time, about everything. Feel as though I will never find anyone, because nothing has worked out up till now. Gah I know I'm just being fatalistic because I'm down anyway but it's not so much to want to share all this, the pregnancy and birth and so on with my baby's father is it. Or rather for her father to be a person I could want to share it with.
I need a cuddle and some chocolate but I don't have anyone to bloody give me that do I

BarbieLovesKen · 03/04/2011 19:28

Hi All,

Havent caught up at all as have banned myself from Mumsnet for a couple of days due to assignment due on Wednesday.

Wanted to pop on and post as thought of Moomin today and wanted to wish you a huge, big, happy first mother's day!!! (and to everyone else, of course)0

BPrincess · 03/04/2011 19:40

Nurse so sorry you're feeling like that - I really hope you find a decent bloke to share it all with one day. But you know what, I think it's so much better and braver to go it alone than settle for second best. There are so many women out there who are with rubbish blokes totally unsuited to them, just because they're too scared to ditch em! And here's a virtual hug coming your way:

(they are invisible, but very warm and supportive ; )

No more and Clarkiee sympathies going out to you both, too. It can be very rubbish indeed, these last few weeks. I'm now 32 wks, so can totally identify with the aches and pains and general down-ness. I did find though, that I had an utterly rubbish week the other week, when I was knackered, sleeping all the time, crying and SO tired, and back ache, but now I'm a lot better, generally. Perhaps it's a growth spurt and you'll readjust? Hope so. Also, Nomore, I swear by earplugs at the moment. We live on quite a busy road, so the last thing I need added to the usual sleeping problems is noise. But stick a pair of em in - I like the foam ones - and it really helps to get a good night's sleep.

Can I join in the swollen feet/hands club? Had them for the last week or so. I find the only real solution is putting your feet up, though a nice bit of foot cream and a massage does help too. I'm also finding I have aching fingers at night. DP (a nurse) reckons it's all to do with the swelling, but it's a bit disconcerting.

I'm finding baby movements a bit scary at times - such huge kicks sometimes that it makes me jump and kind of hold my breath, and my stomach just moves up and down and ripples, really visibly at times. I was keeping a room of 4 people entertained with it this morning... really strange!

OMG - thought I was going into early labour last night, big cramps, back pain. Luckily turned out just to be a bad case of indigestion. Phew!

NurseSunshine · 03/04/2011 19:56

Thanks BPrincess :) You get your feet up and take it easy

moomin156 · 03/04/2011 19:58

havent had chance to catch up with all the news but i hope everyone is ok and coping.......
Florence continues to be a little star and i have had my first mothers day Grin
I got scared yesterday as one of the nurses mentioned she could be home in 3-4weeks if she continues to do so well. i would come home with her tube feeding and practicing breast feeding with help from their outreach service.......
wonderful but scary. Early days to say yet but she is just amazing and strong willed and i love her so much.
cant wait for the rest of your babies to start appearing........

NurseSunshine · 03/04/2011 20:30

Oh wow that's amazing Moomin! What lovely news to get on your first Mother's day :)

NoToast · 03/04/2011 20:56

Aue, Nurse Sunshine, am so sorry things haven't worked out the way you wanted for pregnancy (and no doubt you deserved them to work out better too). I am sending you a hug, a Brew and a big positive wish that the things you want come your way and soon!

NoToast · 03/04/2011 21:02

Jasmine thanks for the clothes offer, have had a quick read through last few days postings and don't think you've updated on the ownership scenario? Am happily waiting until you hear from your neighbour, Smile

8rubberduckies · 03/04/2011 21:03

Happy Mother's Day everyone! Hope you've all had a lovely day Smile I am sat on the sofa with the biggest box of chocolates ever from ds, and had a little cry when he came and cuddled me in bed this morning Smile. Had a long lie in, breakfast in bed, then the most delicious bit of pork belly down the local with Mum, Step-Dad, dp and ds... num num....

Nurse sorry you're feeling down. It must be difficult for you, but keep in mind that you are doing the best for your baby not bringing them into a family where Mum and Dad aren't happy together. Another virtual hug on its way to you Smile. I completely agree with BPrincess, better to go it alone than settle for second best. You are bound to meet someone fabulous as well at some point, and you may have missed them coming into your life if you'd stayed with your ex.

NMH How frustrating for you, I think I would have to say something to my neighbour, as it is pretty unfair having parties all the time.

Moomin great news! Your Florence sounds like a wonderful, strong little character. It will be wonderful to have her home, and I'm sure you'll get huge amounts of support.

Confessions I got stuck in the bath when pg with ds Blush. It was so bloody embarassing having to call dp to help me out, and even more embarassing that I was so huge and unwieldy by that point that he couldn't budge me! I had to wait until the bath had drained, then inch by inch roll myself onto my hands and knees and crawl out... I was shivering and in tears by the time I emerged. He still laughs about it now Angry. I wil be giving up baths soon for fear of it happening again Sad. I was in hospital for 2 days before my induction kicked off, and they have massive baths, with lots of handles (and an emergency cord), so I spent many an hour wallowing in there.

Merlion · 04/04/2011 03:38

Nurse agree with the others but it must be hard not being able to share all the joys and worries of impending parenthood with the father - much love to you.

Nomore I would also have to say something to the neighbours. I'm sure your DH will also change his tune if the same thing happens once the baby arrives - nothing like when you've finally got them to sleep them being woken by something completely outside your control but I hope for your sake you don't have to wait till then for him to come round.

Moomin sounds like a lovely first Mother's Day.

Confessions DS said he wanted dd to be called Catapult yesterday! I think he may just have learnt the word an liked it!

8rd sorry but your story did make me laugh - I'm still trying to imagine how you get stuck in the bath - I don't tend to have them very often though and am soon going to start using the walk-in shower in the other bathroom as ours is an over the bath one.

Can any of you lovely ladies recommend nice maternity sleepwear? I looked in the mirror this morning and there is now a very large gap between the bottom of my top and the top of my pj bottoms and the bottoms are well and truly around my hips. My brother and SIL are coming over soon so they can bring something with them.

jasmine51 · 04/04/2011 08:17

Nomore dont worry I'm still on the case of the maternity clothes, I havent had a response re what she wants me to do with them so they are still in a bag in my bedroom. I'll give her mum a call today.

I also have a small selection of 3quarter length trousers in size 14 if anyone is interested. Being a short arse and quite wide at the moment they look quite comical on me but would suit someone a little taller maybe. They came out of the big mixed bag I bought off ebay so if anyone thinks they might be interested, PM me and I'll list out whats here.

Nurse I think you should feel really proud of yourself that you made the decision to go it alone. It will be a much healthier environment having a loving mum and loving extended family than having a father who isnt totally 100% committed. I agree that by removing him from the equation you have made sure there is room for someone else...or not...whatever the universe has in store for you, you have made the right and loving decision x

Dead arm again this morning...but I did wake up on my back again so I think that was the reason this time.

Have a good day all

crumbletastic · 04/04/2011 08:43

Nurse I hope you are feeling a bit better today, I know sort of what you are feeling like as I spent most of my last pregnancy alone as I broke up with my previous partner before I found out I was pregnant. As soon as I knew I involved the dad as much as possible by inviting him to scans and stuff but telling him that we had no future together but he could be as involved in babies life as much as possible. At first he was full of reassuring platitudes about wanting to be a brilliant dad as his dad wasn't around for him throughout his childhood but when it sunk in that there would be no further relationship for us he turned nasty and we've not had contact since. The general hormonal wobbles of pregnancy got me pretty down about this but I actually met my now husband whilst pregnant and he is the perfect partner for me, and the most amazing dad I can imagine.

I'm not saying get out there and look for anyone else(!) but I could never have predicted when I would meet somebody amazing, and I'm so happy now. Before I met him though I became happy in the knowledge that being a parent by myself, however hard it was going to be, was better than raising a child in a realtionship that I knew wasn't right, I think you have been amazing doing that too

KaraStarbuckThrace · 04/04/2011 10:14

Nurse{{{{{hugs}}}}}} I don't blame you for feeling sad. But I agree with little BPrincess. And you are going to be a wonderful mummy!

Moomin - yey for your lovely Mother's day news :)

Clarkiee - 2 weeks to go!! Wow!

BarbieLovesKen · 04/04/2011 10:30

Nurse Im so sorry! Blush I completely x posts with you last night and didnt see yours until now.

Im so sorry your feeling down, it must be so hard - I've often thought of your situation and how your feeling but didnt want to bring it up in case you prefered not to talk about it. You will be feeling so much more vulnerable right now - pregnancy is horrible like that. Myself and dh went through a terrible time when I was pregnant with ds and split for a while, I honestly, honestly thought we were finished for good but things, in the end, turned out differently. Because of the split though, I do understand how you are feeling right now, it is scary but I can guarantee you that you'll be fine. So much of what you've wrote is how I felt too. The hormones dont help at all (although, please dont think Im placing all on hormones!! you are having a very difficult time, its just things will probably appear a little more sad right now than in a few months, when your lo is here etc..).

Everything will be fine, you know that.

CMH1stbaby · 04/04/2011 10:30

quick catch up - hope wedding went well mummy!

so pleased to hear that florence is doing well moomin, can understand your nervousness about having her home in a few weeks but so so great that she is making such progress, long may it continue!

nurse - so much better to have one really loving parent around than two where neither are happy. little consolation I know. I hope you're calling on lots of friends and family to help you out xx

no news from me really - I'm now on study leave / maternity leave but because I'm only 29 weeks its a weird feeling of feeling guilty if I relax too much, because I should be working, and fed up if I study, because I would quite like to be lounging about! oh well, i guess i will fall into some sort of pattern soon!

Hope sleep / swollen bits / pain is not too bad for everyone - I occasionally have a middle-of-the-night strop when I can't get comfy and throw my toys out of the pram have to rearrange all the cushions endlessly..

mrswantstobeamum · 04/04/2011 11:22

Hi ladies, sorry for not posting in a while. I've finally got a day off after being very busy with work the past couple of weeks. I'm really starting to look forward to ML!

Everything is going well here. I'm now 29+3 and definitely feeling heavily pregnant. My LO is as active as always, and I often feel as if I'm carrying an octopus rather than a boy! We did really well shopping for baby stuff this weekend as we've now ordered all of the nursery furniture, bought all his bedding, and have a concrete list of the things left that we need to buy (mostly small basic things, like waterproof mattress pads for cot, moses basket and pram, a sun shade for the car, baby toiletries, etc). Now we need to clear stuff out of the guest room/office to turn it into a nursery.

In any case, I've settled in with a Brew for a catch-up, and will post separately with individual comments. I hope everyone is having a lovely day with beautiful sunny weather like I've got!

jasmine51 · 04/04/2011 11:34

Has anyone else noticed we're up to 940 posts in this thread already Grin

Mrs can I have some sun please - flippin freezing here - even the chickens just looked at me when I opened the door and are still in their little house.

Yay, builders are on a half day today...peace returns after lunch and a nap is in order I think. After doing our tax stuff all morning I am especially in the right frame of mind for snoozing.

crumbletastic · 04/04/2011 12:05

jasmine I'm interested in any size 14 mat pants you don't want, I'm sure a few others will be too

jasmine51 · 04/04/2011 14:00

crumble or anyone else who is interested...
1 pair white linen size 14 3 qtr length Bloom trousers
1 pair Next maternity 3 qtr length jeans (under bump)
1 pair Arabella B 3 qtr length jeans (or just short, cant decide) size 4?
1 pair Blooming Marvellous 3 qtr length light tan combats size 14
1 pair black M&S size 14 palazzo pants( or are they culots?) - over bump

They have come from a non smoking house apparently but my sensitive shnozzer detects a whiff of smoke so will need washing.

If you PM me your address, proved the postage isnt massive I'll gladly send them up to you (or down to you...not sure where you are...dont tell me you are in the US or something mad!) x

ConfessionsOfAnAchingFanjo · 04/04/2011 14:21

Speaking of older DCs name choices for new babies I came across this little gem this morning. Posh normally makes my stomach churn, but this did make me smile.

I also wanted to give you a big hug Nurse (all out of chocolate though sorry). I've been struggling recently with my DH being unwell and not fully engaged in every day life as a result. I really cannot imagine doing this solo though and think that you sound like you're doing amazing well under the circumstances.

And moomin! I didn't even twig this would be your first Mothers Day. Great news about Florence hopefully coming home soon.

mrswantstobeamum · 04/04/2011 14:37

Phew, have finally managed to catch up on most of what I missed over the last two weeks - 20 pages! Lovely bump photos. I will try to post some of mine a bit later.

Thanks to everyone who responded about how much weight they've gained. I know everyone is different, but it helps to be able to compare. I've held steady with my 30-lb weight gain since then, and my MW hasn't seemed concerned at all. Knackered, I think I might take your advice and stop weighing myself as it's not helping. I'm hoping to be able to lose most of this within nine months, though, as we're currently planning to start TTC#2 at that stage, but we'll see! NoToast, I also liked your method of dividing our total weight by two. My baby and I now each weigh six stone! Wink

Loved the sling chat - I bought a Moby wrap (which was not influenced at all by *Sasamaxx's lovely man video Wink), which I'm planning to use quite a lot whilst he's a newborn, and a friend gave us her Snugli carrier, which should be good when he's a bit bigger.

Also loved the chat about labour and birth. I'm just starting to work on my birth plan. I've also considered a home birth, but am leaning towards a waterbirth in a home-from-home suite in hospital. I would really like to do this as naturally as possible, but am a little nervous as it's my first, so I think I'll feel a little more comfortable being in hospital. I am also very opposed to being induced unless absolutely necessary. Kara, I'll also be saying no to episiotomy, epidural and a managed third stage, and I'm also wanting to labour at home as long as possible before going to hospital. I want an active birth and will definitely not be labouring on my back!

As for nappies, I really like the idea of reusable nappies but not necessarily the practicality. With reusables, I?m worried about constant leaks (especially with a boy) and the constant presence of a sanitising bucket full of soaking dirty nappies somewhere in our very small house (it would likely have to be in our tiny only bathroom). We also don?t have a tumble dryer, and will be moving to a country where a nappy service wouldn?t be possible when he is only nine months old. Plus most people I know who use reusables also use disposables quite a lot when out and about, etc. We?ve been given a lot of newborn size disposable nappies by friends who bought more than they were able to use, so I will be using those at least to start with. I?m not sure that the investment in reusables would pay off in our case. Anyone else struggling with this decision?

Moomin, congratulations again! I hope Florence is continuing to do well. It?s great that you are continuing to express. Thanks so much for sharing your birth story.

Mummynumber2, congratulations on your marriage! I hope your wedding was everything you wanted it to be.

Nurse, it must be hard to be on your own right now?sending you very un-MN hugs. I?m sure you will find the strength you need to get through this and be a fantastic mum to your LO.

Welcome to crazychic, jimper, SavannahRose, IonnaD, Joannezipan and any other newbies I've missed!

BarbieLovesKen · 04/04/2011 14:38

You are so, so kind Jasmine. Smile, have noticed that through this whole thread.

Cant believe we've almost reached capacity on this thread too!!.

Have finished my essay!!! Grin. No more assignments/ essays for me until roughly October Grin. Woo hoo!.

Mrswantstobe.. am very much with you on the "heavily pregnant" thing. I am really beginning to feel full of baby and very awkard and big, my hips and bum hurt like crazy and am peeing constantly, heartburn is now getting so bad that I could vomit at times Blush and am getting through one bottle of gaviscon every 2 days!!. I burst into tears yesterday in my grans as I felt so sorry for myself and was mortified after. The end is in sight though! Smile (still havent bought anything!!! really need to get organised).

Oooh OBEM night tonight and first night dh has been home since this day last week so am thinking feet up and takeaway and watch baby programmes. DH also promised me a foot massage for mothers day (as he was away last night), the little things, hey?.

31+5 today.

BarbieLovesKen · 04/04/2011 14:42

and cant believe I neglected to wish MN2 and her DH a huge congratulations!!!!!!!

NurseSunshine · 04/04/2011 14:51

Thanks for all the lovely words everybody :) Isn't it strange how absolute strangers from the interwebs can cheer you up when you're feeling blue?!
Crumble I'm sorry your ex was such a dick, he's clearly the one who's missed out on you and your DC, and I'm very glad it's worked out so well for you :)
Barbie v glad you got back with your DH :) Thanks for thinking of me. I am finding it hard but I do know it'll be worth it in the end. And I am also aware that due to hormones, tiredness etc I'm not going to be thinking straight at the moment.
Everyone who said it's better to have one loving parent than two who argue and a dad who's not interested, you are right, I know that. I have made the right decision to go it alone and it is sad things didn't work out "perfectly" but hey ho, what does? :)

Confessions yeah Justin Bieber was top of my list of boys names, actually.

Jasmine I woke up with two dead hands the other night and I'd rolled onto my back in my sleep so there must be some connection there. Weird eh!

CMH I wake up in the middle of the night and have to punch the pillows and things until I get comfortable as well. I'm sleeping on 3 pillows as well because of heartburn but it's just that bit too high to be really comfortable. It's the little things isn't it!

crumbletastic · 04/04/2011 14:52

Jasmine, you are lovely. I'm interested in the white linen and the black m&s pants and combats as I've never had any luck with jeans, whether under bump or over they always fall down on me. Someone feel free to pipe up if you want any of this stuff too though, I don't want to steal all the goodies, and 1 pair of pants is good enough for me, I'm happy to pay for postage by paypal, or any other way which won't charge you fees

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