Jue in June 2011....... third trimesters here we come!!!!!

[Clarkiee]

Hello,
Started a new thread ladies, fingers crossed it works xx

[8rubberduckies]

Thansk for the new thread Jer, as there's some room left here still thought I'd go some way towards filling up this one first though!

MrsMN2 sounds like a lovely day! I'm sure I would've been blubbing too in my current hormonal state!

Just wanted to say quickly Jasmine that I asked my Mum to be at my labour, and then changed my mind and decided she would stress me out! I told her that I didn't want her seeing me in pain, and me and dp had decided we wanted it to be a shared experience just for the two of us. I think she was secretly relieved, but a bit put out, but it didn't affect our relationship at all, and she was first down the hospital the next day!

Supersunny don't worry too much about breastfeeding - it can be painful for some women, but it is not a given, and I think with most women it isn't painful for all that long. Also, there is lots of support available if you do have problems, as I think most cases when it is painful is because the baby is not latching on properly, and this can be solved with a few little adjustments and some guidance. There are of course women who suffer from masititis or thrush, and I know they can be horrible, but don't let the chance of that happening to you put you off!

I was very lucky and did not have problems with breastfeeding ds, although it was sometimes painful if I missed a feed or was late for a feed and got full up as it were, but a bit of expressing usually sorted that out. I found it very exhausting sometimes as my ds was a little piglet fed very well, so I weaned him completely when I returned to work when he was 8 months old, as I couldn't cope with both together. Breastfeeding was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and I hated stopping. There were downsides too, such as feeling like a heifer at times, tiredness when he was having a growth spurt, but overall a really positive experience. Not to mention, of course, how many calories it uses up .

PS - good tip - Lanisoh nipple cream to prevent / heal sore, cracked nipples. It is one of the more expensive brands, but is miracle cream and does a much better job than the rest. It lasts for ages as well. You have to remove most of them before feeding as well, but this one you can leave on.

Had a really tough day yesterday, was sooooo tired! I was slumped on the sofa til 2pm and my poor ds had to make do with his toys and Cbeebies. I then managed to get out of the house and drive him to the park near where dp works, and call dp and ask if he could leave work early and save me! When dp turned up I had to lie down on the grass by the swings! I am going to go and get a bloodtest for low iron, as I have never known exhaustion like yesterday! Feeling a bit better today though...

[ConfessionsOfAnAchingFanjo]

Well it turns out if that's all a managed third stage is, I had one with DS quite happily. I'd had enough of being pg and pushing ('just one more push' my ruddy arse getting DS out!) so was happy to speed the final bit along.

Nurse I mostly just sit on my gym ball because I'm lazy, but there a lots of exercises you can do with them. They're great for non pg people as well as pg ladies. And now I've googled twigged what a birthing ball is I may well use it for that too. It's brilliant for posture, so when my back is sore I sit on it and waggle my hips until my back eases up. I even used to use them at the gym many years ago!

Mummy so happy to hear your wedding went off so well and am a bit of the room service

I found with the bfing that it usually only hurt when we (DS and I) were doing it wrong. Actually I ended up abruptly weaning him at 8 1/2 months as I was so stressed it always hurt and my milk quality had gone down hill and he was losing weight. I tell you though, when it went well it was the nicest feeling in the world. This time I'm determined to have better support, less stress and a better feeding chair so that it always goes well.

Good news on the leave date, lack of exam marking TTL. I'm starting to find it odd reading about those of you going on leave. I'm finding I wish I had a bit more to do, esp in the evenings (can't do adult crafty things with a 3yr old about/nap to work around).

[Jer79]

Here's a New Thread

[knackered76]

Okay will catch up properly later but thought I'd better reply to some before I forget who said what . . . .which I think I have already !

Nurse I can fully appreciate the fear but just wanted to let you know that I know quite a few single mums and they are fantastic, lots of them are also so much more hands on then other mums (obviously that could be just my friends!). The fear of something is often worse then the thing itself but sending big hugs anyway and remember you have us to share with, not quite the same I know but a share anyway :)

Nomore I spent the whole of my first pregnancy in denial that it was going to happen. I spent the first 3 weeks in shock that I had a baby and it took me at least that long to begin bonding with dd. I honestly felt like I could have been anyone to her as long as they had boobs to feed her from! Adjusting to my new life as a mum took time but I did get there and I love it. I have also met some fantastic friends who I regularly meet up with and yes there is usually drink involved, although obviously not for me at the moment! What I'm trying to say is that any change takes getting used to, whether it's moving house a new partner or a baby, but you will get used to it in time and then you'll wonder how you ever did without it :)

MrsMN2 Hooray for your lovely wedding day :) So pleased you had a wonderful time!

Jasmine Have to agree with you on this one. I have a friend on standby if dh doesn't get home in time (I have relatively quick labours). I am however a complete chicken so my approach would not be to mention it again . If it does come up then just say you wouldn't be comfortable with her there, nothing personal . .. .. I would avoid the topic though!

Breastfeeding starts off as quite painful but then is does get easier. Apparently if you can make it through the first 2 weeks then you'll be fine!

So many more things to say but can't remember who to so am going to tidy the house before my dd and 3 of her friends come back before the school disco tonight (I say tonight, clearly they are 5 and 6 so it's 4.30pm start!).

[Joannezipan]

That is a very good description :o He is not my favorite person since he managed to get one of my friends sacked last year for no reason! Since then i've had a massive effort to make nice with his bosses and to become very visable across the company - no way he's doing that to me! I keep hoping they will "retire" him...no luck yet! I just keep him out of the loop on pg stuff and then make sure I give him catch ups and pretend i don't want to bother him with such unimportant matters :) flattery will get you everywhere!

[NurseSunshine]

He sounds like a bit of a twat. Don't be afraid to stick up for yourself and your rights though, especially since you know you're got HR behind you

[Joannezipan]

Nurse you could be onto something with putting the nap on the to do list...I love a good list! I'm not sure my boss would be so thrilled with the idea though But then he is 55 going on 75 and is just annoyed with me for a)being good at my job and being a woman at the same time b) finally getting promoted at Christmas and then c)daring to get pregnant! If had known I was pg he would have fought my promotion tooth and nail! The man is a moron! Still not much he can do about it as HR have been ace!

[takethatlady]

mn2 that's what I meant, lol :)

[Mummynumber2]

Thanks! Actually I am wife number 2 ttl but obviously number 1 wife .

Sorry to hear you're feeling tired and teary Joanne

[NurseSunshine]

Glad you had a lovely day MN2 :) Honeymoon sounds ace. We still need pics though!

Jasmine gah sorry about the carpal tunnel :( not long to go now though (this has become my daily mantra!)
Yeah I reckon CMH is right, just keep it vague but reassuring with your mum. You could say that it all kicked off so quickly you didn't have time to call her and let her know or something. When the baby's born she'll be such a proud grandmother she won't evenmind :)

Thornykate thanks for your inspirational words :) If I can be as strong as you sound then I'll be fine :)

Joanne Oh yeah, random crying, do yourself a favour and don't watch anything even remotely sad and/or child related. Comedy all the way!
I found scheduling a nap into my day really helps, I don't feel guilty as I've made the time for it in advance and I feel productive because I've done something on my to do list! I'm a bit odd though so...

[Joannezipan]

Hello everyone,

Mummy I'm glad it was so wonderful - your minimoon sounds just brilliant too...I'm jelous!

thornykate that is very good advice!

I have been lurking the last couple of days. I've been shattered, but sleeping - now i'm just confused! Plus the random crying started last night. DH couldn't underestand why I was upset and I was trying to tell him I wasn't really through loads of tears...not good really. Especially as he has a massive work deadline on friday (unless they change it - again) and really needs to work late and i'm crying when he gets home. Poor chap. Oh well it will all be worth it when we get the baby (I hope!). Right back to work - why can't I not be busy for a bit I would like to put my head down and go to sleep. Have a good afternoon everyone.

[Merlion]

Congrats again on your wedding mummyno2 sounds like a fabulous day.

TTL good news on the leave date and exams. I was told they've found my cover and hopefully she'll be here by the end of this month so I can do a proper handover.

Re breastfeeding I did find it really tough and painful at first especially as my nipples were then fairly flat/inverted. I did get quite a bit of support though and was pretty determined about keeping going. I had a couple of bouts of mastitis and at one point could only feed from one side as my nipple got so sore I had to pump. Then because I had wanted to continue so badly we (I think) missed the window to introduce a bottle and whatever we did DS refused the bottle completely. I spent a small fortune on different types of bottles and teats to try and tempt him but to no avail (I went back to work PT at 6 months so was a bit of an issue resulting in DS reverse-cycling i.e. waking up at night to feed when he'd just started to sleep through to make up for what he missed when I was at work). Of course the breastfeeding did get easier and I ended up breastfeeding DS to 17 months at which point he decided one day no more. Anyway this time I plan on introducing ebm in a bottle earlier as again I have to go back to work early and being a bit more relaxed about the whole thing - if it works it works if it doesn't it's not the end of the world. One plus I no longer have inverted/flat nipples!

Sorry that's fairly long but just thought I'd share my experience.

[takethatlady]

I'm with nmcb on not knowing what a managed third stage is

Congratulations mn2 your wedding sounds absolutely perfect and lovely - really glad it went well for you. I am very about your minimoon, too. I wish DH would whisk me off somewhere. Obviously I also don't wish he would, since that would involve getting us into debt, but still ...

Anyway, congratulations on becoming mummynumber2 and wifenumberone!

thornykate I thought your post was lovely. I am very relieved and happy to be doing this with a lovely DH but I think everything you said about doing it single made perfect sense (and not anti-coupley at all). My mum and dad divorced when I was 3 and my brother was a newborn and, though I love them both and have good relationships with them both, it was 100% the right thing and I am proud of my mum for having the strength to do it before we were affected by a bad relationship which would have made both of them, and both of us children, unhappy. Whether you're single or coupled-up there'll be hard times and happy ones, I reckon, but in my book there is absolutely no right or wrong or harder or happier way of doing it - the right way for you is definitely the right way for your LO.



I just taught my last class of the semester. Whoop whoop. I am so happy I can't even take it. Plus my boss finally agreed to let me go on leave on 20th May, which means I don't have to mark any undergraduate exams. Yippee

[Mummynumber2]

Hello everybody. It's Mrs Mummynumber2 here!

The wedding was really lovely. Very relaxed and I think all had a good day. I got quite emotional during the vowes which I was very glad to be able to blame on hormones although there were quite a lot of tears all round! We managed to get a one night mini honeymoon in a very nice hotel overlooking Kensington Gardens, where I scoffed some room service and fell asleep by 9.30!. Thanks for all your lovely well wishes and congratulations.

Moomin What wonderful news about Florence. She's obviously a real little fighter, you must be over the moon about the thought that she'll be home ina few weeks.

Nurse I'm glad you're feeling a bit happier, it must be so hard to go through this alone. Is your ex being at all helpful or supportive?

I can't remember who said they feel like they're carrying an octopus (sorry!). But I know exactly how you feel, I'm really glad I've had a lot of scans as is not I'd be convinced my baby had 6 legs! I can't work out how it's possible to feel so much movement at one time, according to pregnanacy updates I get on my phone every day I'm supposed to be feeling less movement now!!!!

Those of you who have decided against a managed 3rd stage, what's the benefit of that as opposed to having the injection?

[jasmine51]

CMH can you turn it down please...some of us are trying to be pg...

[CMH1stbaby]

well handled nomoreheels, sounds like you took just the right approach with your neighbour!

sorry about carpal tunnel jasmine51, it seems like pg manages to get everywhere eventually...
re your mum - I would maybe say that something vague like you'll definitely call her if you need her. that way you can explain it away afterwards by saying a friend was round or nearer or something if your DH is not home..

settling down to a day of studying with very cheesy magic fm playing v loudly (uh oh - maybe I'm a noisy neighbour?!)

[jasmine51]

re breastfeeding - I had a few shocks at the weekend from my mother about her pg and labour experiences (never discussed them before) but one was that I was only breastfed for a week. It sounds like engorgement was the problem. This worries me a bit because if anything gets affected through hormones with me its the boobs and my house just isnt robust enough to withstand me in a mood about painful boobs - however I understand that the pain does tend to diminish after a week or so....comments?

I spoke to the MW who takes my aquanatal class last night about my dead arm. Shes pretty clear that its carpal tunnel caused by fluid retention which made me sad since about the only thing that isnt swollen and fat looking are my arms! Ho hum - another temporary delight of pg.

For those of you who have been asking - the bag of size 10 maternity clothes has to be returned. Shame, I would love to have dished that lot out.

Lastly, a dilemma. When I was talking to my mum, she said 'I dont suppose you want me to be there at the labour' - it was said quite sadly rather than as a question. The truthful answer is no, we've never been that close and I would feel really awkward with her there, but she clearly would like to be asked. I might be a weirdo in that if DH cant get there then I would rather be alone or possibly have a friend on hand but Mum would obviously be really hurt at that. Any ideas how I can manage this? Mum lives about 2 hours from the hosp by the way.

[crumbletastic]

jasmine pm sent.

For those worried about painful breastfeeding, I never once experienced pain but typical hormonal worries meant I worried about this too, I was convinced I was doing it wrong and it wasn't working for the first few days until I learnt to recognise the signs of the letdown reflex. Motherhood is no end of worrying about doing things right!

How can you see how many posts we've done? I don't think I have it on mine as I have all posts on one page. Hope someone who can see is on the ball for making the next thread

[Thornykate]

Glad everyone seems OK

just wanted to post (to nurse ) about some of the advantages I felt from previously being a single mum...

1. You can be completely selfish & focus 100% on you & your new baby. No need to cook dinner at 5pm for when DP gets home; if you want to have dinner of micro chips at 3am you can do without reprisal! Sounds a bit mad now but its easier to find a routine for 1+ baby than 2+ baby.
   
   
2. You can relax post birth re your aches, pains & pelvic floor without feeling you have to put on a brave face. Basically recover in your own time without an audience OR feeling like someone is waiting for you to be ready for sex again!
   
   
3. You can make up your own rules without compromise in your own home. Fantastic when ex-p's like to wean babies on white choc buttons etc! Also baby settles better when there is only one set of 'rules', my youngest DS has been the worst sleeper yet as DP has some strange ideas about sleep patterns.
   
   
4. You get a huge sense of pride & satisfaction knowing that you have done it alone despite the hard times.
   
   
5. You can make a lovely, peaceful & supportive home for you & baby that could never be possible with the wrong partner. If you doubt it, tune in & remember the negative feelings you had with your ex-p. I know I had times when I wished I was anywhere but living with Ex-husb.
   
   Truly hope that none of this comes accross as patronising or anti-coupley (I have a partner now) but as someone who has worn both hats I just wanted to share the great parts of being single with a baby; I hope you find your own things to add to the list in time :)
   
   For the record I prefer labour without a DP too!

[NurseSunshine]

Supersunny re breastfeeding, from what I've heard it can hurt at first but should settle down after a week or so when you're both practised at it. That's what I'm going on anyway! It couldn't be excruciating ALL the time or no-one would do it, surely?

[NurseSunshine]

That's great that your neighbour was so understanding and reasonable Nomore. You must be really relieved. I would be really worried about confronting someone so well done for doing it and it sounds like you did it exactly right.

Confessions what exactly do you do on the gym ball?

Had antenatal tonight and had a go on one of these and it was lovely! Am definately going to get one for labour.

[sasamaxx]

Don't be of the bath confessions - it costs a fortune to fill, has terrible tide marks and rust around the plughole . I also live in terror of one of the kids banging their head on it as it's cast iron (obviously, being 80 years old)

[ConfessionsOfAnAchingFanjo]

at your 6ft bath Sasa.

And NMH (I still do a double take when I see the name nomore! keep forgetting I'm confessions now ) good news about the chat with neighbour regarding the parties.

I had a lovely post gilmore girls half hour nap on the couch this afternoon. Well lovely, apart from it was just long enough to undo all my good work on the gym ball this morning so my back is in agony again! And DS has claimed the ball as his own, so will have to wait from him to go to bed before I can get it down again.

I keep thinking I'm huge unwieldy and cumbersome, then I realise that actually bump is going to get way bigger before I'm done and that at the moment I have quite a lovely neat bump that doesn't quite make it impossible to get my socks on.

Also can I ask a question? I might sound a bit thick, esp as I already have a DC, but I was in a different country when he was born and it was never mentioned. What is a managed third stage? I keep reading it on here and have NO idea what you're all on about.