Jue in June 2011....... third trimesters here we come!!!!!

[Clarkiee]

Hello,
Started a new thread ladies, fingers crossed it works xx

[jasmine51]

Itsa deal - PM me your address, I'm going near a post office on Weds so could mail them then...along with sending back all the stuff I ordered from ASOS and New Look that doesnt fit..grrrr...this LO better be about 5 stone when it comes out...it cant all be me!

[nomoreheels]

Hi everyone and thanks very much for the thoughts, sympathy and your own experiences. (They're on a previous page so I can't see all the names, but really did appreciate all the comments!)

Had a busy day with a friend dropping off baby stuff and then MIL round for a family/mother's day meal, so was completely shattered by 8 PM with the lack of sleep, and have had to take it very slow today too.

But some good news... I gave myself time to calm down, and went round just now to have a chat with the mum of the noisy buggers party teens, with DP's approval as long as I promised not to blow a fuse. I used the shit sandwich technique; I had some good news about some improvements to a shared park fence I've been battling the council over, so I started by telling her that good news. I should add that we don't know her well, but she's been friendly enough in the past and I knew it wouldn't be like taking on people like those described by one of the posters here (which sounded like a total nightmare)

Then I just said that we'd had a hard time with the parties - especially the first one, but the main issues were keeping us awake after midnight and the kids leaving the party waking us up as they went home. And (aided by my big bump) I told her I was pregnant.

She was mortified, and was really sorry especially as I was pregnant. She was really cross as she'd had words to say respect the neighbours, but obviously it hadn't sunk in. The really bad party was her lads' 16th - and she said it got out of control and she wasn't happy about it at all - however there was a second birthday (this past weekend) which she let go ahead, but was stricter about it. I said we had felt the second party was better but it was still pretty noisy when they went outside for cigs, and when they left at 3 am. (I can only imagine what it's like trying to get drunk 16 year olds to be thoughtful!)

She then said she's in two minds about saying no more parties anyhow as she knows they can be a boisterous bunch, and if they're not going to respect the neighbours then she's not cool about it. She's also going to think about how to manage outside smoking

She also said I should just come round if any future parties were bothering us, that it was ok to just pop round there and then. So I know we can just pop round to say "shut up please" nicely. But she promised there shouldn't be any parties coming up anyhow.

Phew!!

Hope everyone is having a good day. x

[sasamaxx]

nomoreheels that's awful about the parties

confessions I'm ok in the bath since my bath is ancient (1930s) - and they must have made baths bigger then as it's 6ft long and really deep so I won't outgrow it, but I am terrified of the gas bill

Nurse sorry you're feeling down - have some virtual (((hugs))) - you will make a fantastic mummy to your lovely baby

Moomin so great that Florence is doing so well - hope you enjoyed your first mother's day

mrswantstobeamum FANTASTIC that you got a moby - you will have to watch that video every day now to make sure you know what you're doing

Barbie whoo hoo about no more exams until October

32+3 today and feeling very heavy, tired and cumbersome.

[ConfessionsOfAnAchingFanjo]

at your 6ft bath Sasa.

And NMH (I still do a double take when I see the name nomore! keep forgetting I'm confessions now ) good news about the chat with neighbour regarding the parties.

I had a lovely post gilmore girls half hour nap on the couch this afternoon. Well lovely, apart from it was just long enough to undo all my good work on the gym ball this morning so my back is in agony again! And DS has claimed the ball as his own, so will have to wait from him to go to bed before I can get it down again.

I keep thinking I'm huge unwieldy and cumbersome, then I realise that actually bump is going to get way bigger before I'm done and that at the moment I have quite a lovely neat bump that doesn't quite make it impossible to get my socks on.

Also can I ask a question? I might sound a bit thick, esp as I already have a DC, but I was in a different country when he was born and it was never mentioned. What is a managed third stage? I keep reading it on here and have NO idea what you're all on about.

[sasamaxx]

Don't be of the bath confessions - it costs a fortune to fill, has terrible tide marks and rust around the plughole . I also live in terror of one of the kids banging their head on it as it's cast iron (obviously, being 80 years old)

[NurseSunshine]

That's great that your neighbour was so understanding and reasonable Nomore. You must be really relieved. I would be really worried about confronting someone so well done for doing it and it sounds like you did it exactly right.

Confessions what exactly do you do on the gym ball?

Had antenatal tonight and had a go on one of these and it was lovely! Am definately going to get one for labour.

[NurseSunshine]

Supersunny re breastfeeding, from what I've heard it can hurt at first but should settle down after a week or so when you're both practised at it. That's what I'm going on anyway! It couldn't be excruciating ALL the time or no-one would do it, surely?

[Thornykate]

Glad everyone seems OK

just wanted to post (to nurse ) about some of the advantages I felt from previously being a single mum...

1. You can be completely selfish & focus 100% on you & your new baby. No need to cook dinner at 5pm for when DP gets home; if you want to have dinner of micro chips at 3am you can do without reprisal! Sounds a bit mad now but its easier to find a routine for 1+ baby than 2+ baby.
   
   
2. You can relax post birth re your aches, pains & pelvic floor without feeling you have to put on a brave face. Basically recover in your own time without an audience OR feeling like someone is waiting for you to be ready for sex again!
   
   
3. You can make up your own rules without compromise in your own home. Fantastic when ex-p's like to wean babies on white choc buttons etc! Also baby settles better when there is only one set of 'rules', my youngest DS has been the worst sleeper yet as DP has some strange ideas about sleep patterns.
   
   
4. You get a huge sense of pride & satisfaction knowing that you have done it alone despite the hard times.
   
   
5. You can make a lovely, peaceful & supportive home for you & baby that could never be possible with the wrong partner. If you doubt it, tune in & remember the negative feelings you had with your ex-p. I know I had times when I wished I was anywhere but living with Ex-husb.
   
   Truly hope that none of this comes accross as patronising or anti-coupley (I have a partner now) but as someone who has worn both hats I just wanted to share the great parts of being single with a baby; I hope you find your own things to add to the list in time :)
   
   For the record I prefer labour without a DP too!

[crumbletastic]

jasmine pm sent.

For those worried about painful breastfeeding, I never once experienced pain but typical hormonal worries meant I worried about this too, I was convinced I was doing it wrong and it wasn't working for the first few days until I learnt to recognise the signs of the letdown reflex. Motherhood is no end of worrying about doing things right!

How can you see how many posts we've done? I don't think I have it on mine as I have all posts on one page. Hope someone who can see is on the ball for making the next thread

[jasmine51]

re breastfeeding - I had a few shocks at the weekend from my mother about her pg and labour experiences (never discussed them before) but one was that I was only breastfed for a week. It sounds like engorgement was the problem. This worries me a bit because if anything gets affected through hormones with me its the boobs and my house just isnt robust enough to withstand me in a mood about painful boobs - however I understand that the pain does tend to diminish after a week or so....comments?

I spoke to the MW who takes my aquanatal class last night about my dead arm. Shes pretty clear that its carpal tunnel caused by fluid retention which made me sad since about the only thing that isnt swollen and fat looking are my arms! Ho hum - another temporary delight of pg.

For those of you who have been asking - the bag of size 10 maternity clothes has to be returned. Shame, I would love to have dished that lot out.

Lastly, a dilemma. When I was talking to my mum, she said 'I dont suppose you want me to be there at the labour' - it was said quite sadly rather than as a question. The truthful answer is no, we've never been that close and I would feel really awkward with her there, but she clearly would like to be asked. I might be a weirdo in that if DH cant get there then I would rather be alone or possibly have a friend on hand but Mum would obviously be really hurt at that. Any ideas how I can manage this? Mum lives about 2 hours from the hosp by the way.

[CMH1stbaby]

well handled nomoreheels, sounds like you took just the right approach with your neighbour!

sorry about carpal tunnel jasmine51, it seems like pg manages to get everywhere eventually...
re your mum - I would maybe say that something vague like you'll definitely call her if you need her. that way you can explain it away afterwards by saying a friend was round or nearer or something if your DH is not home..

settling down to a day of studying with very cheesy magic fm playing v loudly (uh oh - maybe I'm a noisy neighbour?!)

[jasmine51]

CMH can you turn it down please...some of us are trying to be pg...

[Mummynumber2]

Hello everybody. It's Mrs Mummynumber2 here!

The wedding was really lovely. Very relaxed and I think all had a good day. I got quite emotional during the vowes which I was very glad to be able to blame on hormones although there were quite a lot of tears all round! We managed to get a one night mini honeymoon in a very nice hotel overlooking Kensington Gardens, where I scoffed some room service and fell asleep by 9.30!. Thanks for all your lovely well wishes and congratulations.

Moomin What wonderful news about Florence. She's obviously a real little fighter, you must be over the moon about the thought that she'll be home ina few weeks.

Nurse I'm glad you're feeling a bit happier, it must be so hard to go through this alone. Is your ex being at all helpful or supportive?

I can't remember who said they feel like they're carrying an octopus (sorry!). But I know exactly how you feel, I'm really glad I've had a lot of scans as is not I'd be convinced my baby had 6 legs! I can't work out how it's possible to feel so much movement at one time, according to pregnanacy updates I get on my phone every day I'm supposed to be feeling less movement now!!!!

Those of you who have decided against a managed 3rd stage, what's the benefit of that as opposed to having the injection?

[takethatlady]

I'm with nmcb on not knowing what a managed third stage is

Congratulations mn2 your wedding sounds absolutely perfect and lovely - really glad it went well for you. I am very about your minimoon, too. I wish DH would whisk me off somewhere. Obviously I also don't wish he would, since that would involve getting us into debt, but still ...

Anyway, congratulations on becoming mummynumber2 and wifenumberone!

thornykate I thought your post was lovely. I am very relieved and happy to be doing this with a lovely DH but I think everything you said about doing it single made perfect sense (and not anti-coupley at all). My mum and dad divorced when I was 3 and my brother was a newborn and, though I love them both and have good relationships with them both, it was 100% the right thing and I am proud of my mum for having the strength to do it before we were affected by a bad relationship which would have made both of them, and both of us children, unhappy. Whether you're single or coupled-up there'll be hard times and happy ones, I reckon, but in my book there is absolutely no right or wrong or harder or happier way of doing it - the right way for you is definitely the right way for your LO.



I just taught my last class of the semester. Whoop whoop. I am so happy I can't even take it. Plus my boss finally agreed to let me go on leave on 20th May, which means I don't have to mark any undergraduate exams. Yippee

[Merlion]

Congrats again on your wedding mummyno2 sounds like a fabulous day.

TTL good news on the leave date and exams. I was told they've found my cover and hopefully she'll be here by the end of this month so I can do a proper handover.

Re breastfeeding I did find it really tough and painful at first especially as my nipples were then fairly flat/inverted. I did get quite a bit of support though and was pretty determined about keeping going. I had a couple of bouts of mastitis and at one point could only feed from one side as my nipple got so sore I had to pump. Then because I had wanted to continue so badly we (I think) missed the window to introduce a bottle and whatever we did DS refused the bottle completely. I spent a small fortune on different types of bottles and teats to try and tempt him but to no avail (I went back to work PT at 6 months so was a bit of an issue resulting in DS reverse-cycling i.e. waking up at night to feed when he'd just started to sleep through to make up for what he missed when I was at work). Of course the breastfeeding did get easier and I ended up breastfeeding DS to 17 months at which point he decided one day no more. Anyway this time I plan on introducing ebm in a bottle earlier as again I have to go back to work early and being a bit more relaxed about the whole thing - if it works it works if it doesn't it's not the end of the world. One plus I no longer have inverted/flat nipples!

Sorry that's fairly long but just thought I'd share my experience.

[Joannezipan]

Hello everyone,

Mummy I'm glad it was so wonderful - your minimoon sounds just brilliant too...I'm jelous!

thornykate that is very good advice!

I have been lurking the last couple of days. I've been shattered, but sleeping - now i'm just confused! Plus the random crying started last night. DH couldn't underestand why I was upset and I was trying to tell him I wasn't really through loads of tears...not good really. Especially as he has a massive work deadline on friday (unless they change it - again) and really needs to work late and i'm crying when he gets home. Poor chap. Oh well it will all be worth it when we get the baby (I hope!). Right back to work - why can't I not be busy for a bit I would like to put my head down and go to sleep. Have a good afternoon everyone.

[NurseSunshine]

Glad you had a lovely day MN2 :) Honeymoon sounds ace. We still need pics though!

Jasmine gah sorry about the carpal tunnel :( not long to go now though (this has become my daily mantra!)
Yeah I reckon CMH is right, just keep it vague but reassuring with your mum. You could say that it all kicked off so quickly you didn't have time to call her and let her know or something. When the baby's born she'll be such a proud grandmother she won't evenmind :)

Thornykate thanks for your inspirational words :) If I can be as strong as you sound then I'll be fine :)

Joanne Oh yeah, random crying, do yourself a favour and don't watch anything even remotely sad and/or child related. Comedy all the way!
I found scheduling a nap into my day really helps, I don't feel guilty as I've made the time for it in advance and I feel productive because I've done something on my to do list! I'm a bit odd though so...

[Mummynumber2]

Thanks! Actually I am wife number 2 ttl but obviously number 1 wife .

Sorry to hear you're feeling tired and teary Joanne

[takethatlady]

mn2 that's what I meant, lol :)

[Joannezipan]

Nurse you could be onto something with putting the nap on the to do list...I love a good list! I'm not sure my boss would be so thrilled with the idea though But then he is 55 going on 75 and is just annoyed with me for a)being good at my job and being a woman at the same time b) finally getting promoted at Christmas and then c)daring to get pregnant! If had known I was pg he would have fought my promotion tooth and nail! The man is a moron! Still not much he can do about it as HR have been ace!

[NurseSunshine]

He sounds like a bit of a twat. Don't be afraid to stick up for yourself and your rights though, especially since you know you're got HR behind you

[Joannezipan]

That is a very good description :o He is not my favorite person since he managed to get one of my friends sacked last year for no reason! Since then i've had a massive effort to make nice with his bosses and to become very visable across the company - no way he's doing that to me! I keep hoping they will "retire" him...no luck yet! I just keep him out of the loop on pg stuff and then make sure I give him catch ups and pretend i don't want to bother him with such unimportant matters :) flattery will get you everywhere!

[knackered76]

Okay will catch up properly later but thought I'd better reply to some before I forget who said what . . . .which I think I have already !

Nurse I can fully appreciate the fear but just wanted to let you know that I know quite a few single mums and they are fantastic, lots of them are also so much more hands on then other mums (obviously that could be just my friends!). The fear of something is often worse then the thing itself but sending big hugs anyway and remember you have us to share with, not quite the same I know but a share anyway :)

Nomore I spent the whole of my first pregnancy in denial that it was going to happen. I spent the first 3 weeks in shock that I had a baby and it took me at least that long to begin bonding with dd. I honestly felt like I could have been anyone to her as long as they had boobs to feed her from! Adjusting to my new life as a mum took time but I did get there and I love it. I have also met some fantastic friends who I regularly meet up with and yes there is usually drink involved, although obviously not for me at the moment! What I'm trying to say is that any change takes getting used to, whether it's moving house a new partner or a baby, but you will get used to it in time and then you'll wonder how you ever did without it :)

MrsMN2 Hooray for your lovely wedding day :) So pleased you had a wonderful time!

Jasmine Have to agree with you on this one. I have a friend on standby if dh doesn't get home in time (I have relatively quick labours). I am however a complete chicken so my approach would not be to mention it again . If it does come up then just say you wouldn't be comfortable with her there, nothing personal . .. .. I would avoid the topic though!

Breastfeeding starts off as quite painful but then is does get easier. Apparently if you can make it through the first 2 weeks then you'll be fine!

So many more things to say but can't remember who to so am going to tidy the house before my dd and 3 of her friends come back before the school disco tonight (I say tonight, clearly they are 5 and 6 so it's 4.30pm start!).