Parents insisting I must call brother to announce

[User1815]

Hello, I am 13 weeks pregnant after an awful road of 5 miscarriages followed by IVF.
My brother who I am not close to (almost estranged but civil) called me out the blue to tell me his wife was pregnant, with me on speaker 2 years ago. I was miscarrying at the time and it was the most awful experience. But they didn’t know what I was going through or my history.

Now that everything seems to be going well with this pregnancy we have started telling people and my parents want me to call my brother and tell him before we tell anyone else. I really don’t want to do this I just want to text. But this makes them so angry and they say I am completely out of order. They know all about my history and how awful I found that phone call from my brother. But I think they are quite traditional and have moral opinions on etiquette.

Do you think I should make the call to appease them or just tell him via text as I would prefer?

Send him a text and then mute your parents...

Go for a nice walk/ walk/ whatever

Congrats!!!

If they keep on at you I'd send a text saying you need to avoid stress - they can accept ypu are an adult and its your choice (it also doesnt matter) and you can all carry on as usual OR they can die on this hill.
If they want to do the latter thry cam expect minimal contact pre and post pregnancy

At 13 weeks only my parents, baby’s dad and my friend knew. I waited until 20 weeks so I could also reveal my daughter’s sex. Maybe you could do the same.

I did want to wait until 20 weeks and will do that for my friends. The problem is I decided to tell my grandma as my grandad passed away a couple of weeks ago and I just wanted her to know. But with that I guess she may pass on the news to more distant relatives. And his funeral is this week.

Tell your grandma not to tell anyone. It’s not her news to share. If your brother finds out from her then just say you were waiting to find out the sex.

No way why the hell should you call him . I text my sister and we are close and actually get on well.we never ring each other . It’s actually none of their business . Congrats on your pregnancy you must be so overjoyed I’ve been through ivf as well so I know what it’s like

Huge congratulations to you!

Just do literally whatever you want and your parents can suck it up.

Time to start as you mean to go on. This is about your family, not your parents' family. You get to decide what's right and what's proper.

So text him. If your parents kick off just ignore or brush off. "Yes, I take that on board, but this worked better for us."

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Do what you want to do. Establish your boundaries with your parents.
Congratulations!

Just text him. They aren’t your boss.

A text isn’t just sufficient, it is kind. You don’t actually know that your brother and his wife aren’t currently dealing with the same kind of trauma you have experienced.

A text gives them a chance to deal with their emotions privately and then talk to you when they are prepared.

it is how you would have wanted to find out and how you should share the news as well.

we are always happy for a new family member, but those emotions are complex and sometimes overwhelming. The entire culture of how this kind of news is shared with people of childbearing age should change.