Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

Lost my Partner of 6 Years and have an 11 week old baby

27 replies

Moo30 · 19/01/2010 14:13

Hi,

This is the first time I have used this site.
I loss my boyfriend on the 14th and i just dont know how im going to cope. I miss him so much ...

OP posts:
cathcat · 19/01/2010 14:15

Oh Moo, I'm so sorry. You must have had a terrible shock. Do you want to talk about it?
Unfortunately, quite a few Mnetters have lost partners and you will get good support here. Keep posting.

Hulababy · 19/01/2010 14:16

I am so sorry.

I dont have an personal experience so can't reallt advice as such, but couldn't read and not post, There are, sadly, a few MNetters who have been in this position, having lost partners and husbands, and i am sure there are support threads on here.

Hopefully someone with better information will be here soon.

Fruitbatlings · 19/01/2010 14:16

I'm so sorry. I cannot even think of a word to describe how you must be feeling. Devastated is probably an understatement
I'm sure someone will come along with something a bit more helpful xx

twittertotter · 19/01/2010 14:20

I echo the sentiments above, I havent gone through anything similar but you have all my sympathy and support here if you need it.

Original poster
Moo30 · 19/01/2010 14:24

Good, I dont know where to start.. I'm 30 and I feel so sad for my 11 week old baby. I just thought this is what happened on ER, not in real life.. I'm still waiting to hear what he died from as it was so sudden.. They think its Blood Posioning.. from what?? I cant amagine.

I'm not sure how to feel about it as i'm still in shock.

OP posts:
SlightlyFoxed · 19/01/2010 14:25

I am so sorry to hear your terrible news.

You're not alone, my husband died a few years ago when I was pregnant, and there are a few others around who will be able to relate to you.

The best advice I can give you right now is to look at this site:
www.merrywidow.me.uk

  • the guide there and the discussion board were both invaluable to me in the early days and beyond. You will find people there who are going through everything that you are - and more people who have come out through the other side of awful grief and loss.

Other useful places for you to find support are
www.wayfoundation.org.uk

  • this exists to help people who have lost partners at a relatively young age. They have local groups and offer lots of support.

Finally, this site and book was written by a wonderful lady after her husband died when she was pregnant. Some of it will not apply (pregnancy related) but there are parts which may help given that you have such a young baby:

www.greenwidow.com/

I know this is a lot to throw at you - if you do nothing else click on the first link. The people there will help. As will the people here.

You are in such early days of shock and disbelief that there's very little anyone can say that will help. Do you have practical support with your baby?

with love
x

Lilyloo · 19/01/2010 14:30

So sorry to hear about your boyfriend

ChickensLoveMarmite · 19/01/2010 14:33

So very sorry Moo

bronze · 19/01/2010 14:35

I'm so sorry to hear about your DP

Original poster
Moo30 · 19/01/2010 14:55

Thank you all for this.

I have loads of support from my family down the road and friends.. This is the first day I have been on my own.

I just felt a little lonely and thought I would try this.

OP posts:
cathcat · 19/01/2010 14:59

of course you feel lonely, keep chatting here if it helps. I have to go out now but back later.

hazygirl · 19/01/2010 16:12

im so sorryx

ajandjjmum · 19/01/2010 16:28

So sad for you - but your little one needs you, and will always be a link to your dp.

frakkinaround · 19/01/2010 16:58

My deepest condolences - I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through but my thoughts and prayers are with you and your little one. Do keep talking here as there is almost always someone online no matter what time of day. Even if it's in another section of the site there's bound to be someone online to pass the time with.

Casserole · 19/01/2010 17:06

Just checking in to say I saw your post. I can't begin to imagine how you're feeling and I'm so sorry. I'm glad you've got family and friends nearby. Feel free to vent here in the quiet hours though... we can do small talk, or big talk, or nonsense talk - whatever you need! x

princessmel · 19/01/2010 17:08

so sorry for your loss.

ds2 is 13 weeks and I can't imagine how you must be feeling

biggirlsdontcry · 19/01/2010 17:13

so sorry to hear about your DP
i really hope you & your baby will get lots of support , x

lottiejenkins · 19/01/2010 20:43

Am so sorry for your loss, my dh died when my son was two days short of his fifth birthday, sending you lots of love and i will pray for you and your baby.

Oblomov · 19/01/2010 21:12

oh poor poor you. i amso sorry for your loss. was it totaaly unexpected. can you see your husbands features in your baby ~? does that give you any comfort ? that htere is a part of him, growing in someone so fab. ? hope so.

OrmRenewed · 19/01/2010 21:13

Moo - I am so sorry. How terrible.

DadInsteadofMum · 20/01/2010 13:13

Moo, you will be feeling so alone right now, probably your feelings of not being able to cope are probably close to panic.

The first thing to remember is you are not alone, there are a lot (too many!) of us out there, who have been through what you (and I) have been through.

A second vote here forWAY it is run very much by the members for the members, so everybody you talk to is has been through this. The support I have got (and my kids) from being able to talk to people that understand because they have been there is immeasurable.

The next thing is to remember that the most important thing right now is to look after yourself and your kid, you will probably be offered conflicting advice from all sorts of angles, do what you feel is right for you and the baby.

Look after yourself and we are all here for you.

AbiAbi · 20/01/2010 14:32

I'm so sorry to hear of your sad loss,

x

cathcat · 21/01/2010 10:58

Moo, are you around? Hope you are managing as well as you can. Thinking of you.

Casserole · 21/01/2010 14:14

Just logged on to check how you're doing too Moo. Thinking of you x

bronze · 24/01/2010 13:13

Just seeing how youre doing