I'm dreading Christmas. Last year there were four of us, now Caroline and my Mum have died and Dad is still in the secure unit. Some old friends have offered to have my nearly wife and I for two nights and I am very grateful to them.
One of Caroline and my best friends is moving to Cyprus in January. She has been so kind to me over the last few months but now it feels that another link to the happy days of the past is being broken.
Sorry but its really not good here at the moment.
I must, must, must stay positive for my wedding.