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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

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Original poster

Are you ever convinced you have 'seen' the person who has died?

14 replies

Squirdle · 09/04/2009 16:38

My friend and neighbour passed away just over 3 weeks ago after an horrific car accident.

Obviously she and her family have been on my mind a lot, but I was absolutely convinced Isaw her jogging up the hill near us this morning! So much so, that i nearly drove my car into the big hole the workmen had made in the road (she would have found that funny ) I know it wasn't her, but it was so much like her! The same thing happened 3 years ago when my FIL died...the man Isaw was the image of him!

Has anyone else experienced this?

OP posts:

PullMyFinger · 09/04/2009 16:41

Kind of.

You are thinking of the person then you see someone with their body type/build/way of walking and do a double take. Sort of like wish fulfilment.

Happened to me a lot after my dad passed away.

I am sorry for your loss.

SalBySea · 09/04/2009 16:47

sort of. There is a girl who sometimes gets on my bus who looks SO like a girl I went to school with that I've nearly called out to her TWICE

and I swear that my MIL's partner IS Johnny Depp's brother Daniel - you could not "spot the difference" between them

A girl ran up to me in the SU bar when I was at uni and threw her arms around me saying that she didnt realise I was back for another term etc - Turns out that (other than my accent) there are absolutely no apparent differences between me and a girl called Catherine who'd done a term as an exchange student from America the year before I started UNI!

bohemianbint · 09/04/2009 16:48

I know a couple of people who say they have seen people after they have died. I believe it can happen.

Gorionine · 09/04/2009 16:51

I had that once. One of my friends died in a tragic skiing accident. I am absolutely convinced that I have seen him hitchhiking a few month later in a place he was often doing so. It did not surprise me as it was a "scene" I had seen so many times, I guess my mind was just filling a blanc somehow, very hard to explain.

I think in his case, he was someone so full life and believing himself to be invincible. He had had all sorts of accidents that he did survive to. I guess it somehow felt that it was not actually possible that he could have died at all.

BecauseImWoeufit · 09/04/2009 16:51

I think it's a fairly common phenomenon after a bereavement.

Original poster

Squirdle · 09/04/2009 16:53

I do think in a way you are right bohemianbint. This woman had the same hair, tied back in the same way as my friend did when she was jogging, same clothes...and it was just so odd to see her just round the corner from where we live!

It might be me being daft, but I kind of think it is her way of saying 'I'm ok'. I'm sure a lot of people did a double take in our village this morning!

OP posts:

ABetaDad · 09/04/2009 16:54

My parents once rang me up to ask if I was at home. They were convinced they had seen me standing on the side of a lonely country road 300 miles away. They even went back to find the person but he had gone. Weird.

Did I ever mention my surving being hit by lighting bolt(true story)?

Original poster

Squirdle · 09/04/2009 16:55

Gorionine, it is still quite unbelievable that she is gone. She too was full of life and it seems so wrong that she is no longer here.

OP posts:

Gorionine · 09/04/2009 17:23

Squirdle, was the loss of your friend sudden as well?

janestillhere · 09/04/2009 17:31

This strikes a chord with me as I wish I could see my mum like this.

I lost her a year ago and I don't even dream about her and I wish I did that too.

Am missing her alot

My aunt told me yesterday she dreams of all the time and 'shes fine'

bohemianbint · 09/04/2009 17:39

I thoght I might have had some sort of sign from my gran too, makes me that I don't feel her. I've been working up to going to a spiritualist church for the best part of two years now.

SalBySea · 09/04/2009 17:42

actually I thought I saw my ex quite a lot after we split up. I'd see the back of someone's head walking down the road and think it was him. Think it just meant that my subconscous missed him and was seeking any of his traits

Original poster

Squirdle · 09/04/2009 18:33

Yes it was sudden. Well kind of iyswim. She crashed into a tree and was on life support over the weekend, but lost her fight sadly

I can understand the seeing ex's etc, but to think you have seen someone you know has died is quite a shock. I know it is all to do with subconsience (sp) but it is quite wierd! I couldn't help thinking about the poor children next door...if they had seen this woman, it would have been very upsetting. Thankfully they have been out all day.

OP posts:

Gorionine · 09/04/2009 19:06

I think this "visions" might be a way to give us time to deal with the idea of having lost someone close to us when we could not have forseen the loss or prepare (if there is such a thing) for it as if the person had been suffering a long illness maybe? I am not sure there is really a reason for it to happen but i like to think it is a sort of "privilege" we have been given IYSWIM?

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