Way Widowed And Young Nearly Drove Me To Suicide!

[Honestman]

I joined in very bad way after losing the love of my life to cancer. I had an argument with one of the girls and they turned against me, lied, exaggerated and managed to get me banned. My therapist at the time said how negligent the charity was acting! I let it go and tried to rejoin years later, but they still wouldn't let me. I did NOTHING which deserved this treatment! They are clicky, unfair and nearly pushed me to taking my life!!

I joined in very bad way after losing the love of life to cancer. I had an argument with one of the girls and they turned against me, lied, exaggerated and managed to get me banned. My therapist at the time said how negligent the charity was acting! I let it go and tried to rejoin years later, but they still wouldn't let me. I did NOTHING which deserved this treatment! They are clicky, unfair and nearly pushed me to taking my life!!

I’m sorry that this has happened, I certainly wouldn’t want to be rejoining a group that had pushed me to such a state and we’re not welcoming in any way.

id be looking for other groups to join where they can get support or feel welcomed as a person with similar interests

It sounds awful for you, and I'm sorry you had a hard time there. But to be so angry about them is striking. I know from my own terrible bereavement that losing someone can generate huge tanks of anger inside you which find outlets in all sorts of weird ways. This may be why you are so caught up in this bad episode rather than simply moving on to find better sources of support.

Also, even for those of who aren't caught up in the powerful destructive emotions of bereavement, online talk environments can make us a bit too wound up, especially in a sense of being right and wanting others to acknowledge that. You see it all over mumsnet.

The combination of 'bereavement rage' and the angry feelings generated in online discussions is probably too overwhelming to be healthy. I'd urge you to see this fury you have for the widows' website as a screen for other feelings. Try not to ruminate on it, do what you can to distract yourself from it and move on. In the grand scheme of things it is really not important at all. What is important is your wellbeing.

Just to add, a website that oversees chat pages for bereaved people would have to curate membership very actively. It may well be that they don't see you as having been "in the wrong" in some way - they might just be aware (as you yourself are) that they can't moderate intense and contentious expressions well enough to ensure that the site remains constructive. Removing you isn't judging you; its just acknowledgint the limits of what they can offer

What was the argument you had with the other member?

Sorry to post a third time, but if "it got so bad it nearly pushed me to take my own life" then you absolutely shouldn't be on that website. They would probably be violating a duty of care to allow you to continue there. Surely you must see that such an intensity of feeling about a website is not healthy.