Is this as good as it gets?

[OneSnugBear]

My husband died four years ago at 57, he'd been ill but his death wasn't expected. I've done everything you're supposed to do, I've moved house, I volunteer, see friends, have done courses etc but I still have that feeling tha I'm just filling time.

I'm retired myself and have no financial reason to return to work, even if I was able to at 62. I have adult children I'm close to, but they have partners, careers etc. I don't feel depressed at all, just that life is not what it was.

I've fully accepted my husband's death, I did have grief counselling the time.

Has anyone felt similar?

It sounds as if you have accepted the end of one chapter but haven’t found another to start? Or have t felt an urge to do so?

I was driven to find another partner and although I have had moments of ‘what have I done’ in general it’s been and continues to be really good. It meant a lot of change though.

I am only 9 weeks from losing my husband so maybe I shouldn't be commenting as obviously I'm right at the start and understandably finding it incredibly difficult.

But we found each other later in life and really really were each others soulmates. I am not depressed but incredibly sad and lonely.

I cannot imagine this is ever going to change for me even though I am trying really hard, I absolutely feel like I've lost a limb and premenant pain but I realise this is probably lot more normal at my stage

I'm just trying to explain that we were so a part of each other that I now just feel.....life will never have any true meaning