Is it too soon to invite my son's friend away?

[Laptopbop]

My DS16 best friends father died last week after a year long illness, however the end was sudden.

I am planning a work trip in about 8 weeks and often tag on a family day or two beforehand and take one or two of my kids.

I did this earlier in the summer with my DD and her friend.

I would like to take DS friend on the next trip (he’d enjoy it) Hotel rooms are covered and I would cover the flight with air miles.

Is it too soon to ask the mother - would she be happy to have something her son could look forward to or would she consider this too much to make a decision on right now ?

@monicaspurpledoor I know the child would love this opportunity and relish the time away. But yes it’s probably too soon to contact. I’ll give it a couple of weeks

Gosh lots of conflicting responses. Honestly - ask after the funeral and I think from what you've said the response will be positive. Before and it might be just another thing to think about, get head around etc for both mum and child. I have not been in this situation but I've been the child and honestly this would have been so healthy for me if anyone had offered. It's a lovely thing to do. Well done and thank god for people who lift those around them up in these circumstances. Help comes from the most unexpected places. X

My father died suddenly when I was in my late teens. My best friend's parents took me away with their family for a week's holiday abroad about 3 months later. It was the best thing for me to get away from the house and from my mother and just try to feel normal again for a while, it really did help me. Looking back 30 years later, I can't believe I left my poor mum alone for a week (no siblings or close family nearby). So, I can see it from both sides. It's really kind of you to think of your DS's friend at this time, but I would definitely wait until after the funeral before approaching the mum.

Absolutely do not do this. I would be furious if something like this was mentioned to my child before running it by me. What if the boy wants to go and then the mother says no.

He's 16 so not exactly a child and he's entitled to deal with his grief separately to his mother.

I will absolutely speak to the mother first

It's in 2 months time, correct? Yes, I think it's very kind of you. I would have let my boys get away from the all consuming grief that descended on our home. I would have appreciated the offer
Just ask, my lovely x

Hi @Weeellokthen yes it’s 2 months time for the trip. Funeral is over already. I hope you and your family are doing well after all you have been through xx

It's fine to ask, after bereavement, a lot of people find it good to out/on holiday immediately. There's no right or wrong though, and some people have religious or cultural reasons not to.

We are doing very well, thank you, it was many years ago. X