Has anyone recovered slowly after bereavement and emotional burnout?

[26birdsong]

I lost a parent in a traumatic way a couple of years ago. I had a few weeks off work, and a year of counselling - although more related to family dynamics than the loss itself. We’ve then been going through infertility on top of that which has been really hard.

Im still not functioning as I was before my parent became ill. I don’t think I’m depressed, or even that stressed, just totally emotionally burnt out. I’m bobbing along at work doing fine some days and barely able to do much on others. I’ve got a GP appt booked - although I’m not sure what they’ll say as whilst I’m not doing well at work, I’m not “that bad”. But I do wonder will it ever feel better?

has anyone else taken a long time to feel better but eventually got there?

I will be honest after such a trauma I don't think you ever go back to being the same person, I think you have to just adapt to the different you and it takes time.

My situation was different I lost my partner suddenly we were together 30 years, it was 18 months ago but I don't think I will ever go back to how I was, I have sort of evolved into a different version and it's hard but I just think that's how you get through it.

I'm still on antidepressants and still have awful days but am trying to get used to the change.

I think you need to accept that you won't be the same person.

Can you take some time out of work go travelling do something you have always wanted to do it might help.

I'm sorry for your loss

My late husband died 6 1/2 years ago . He was 43 . I now have complex grief and ptsd . And suspected bi polar . On top of ocd . Hope you heal as time passes . It's very hard

DH passed 18 months ago. I have waves of struggles. Sometimes I think I’m sorted and I’m over it only for it to come crashing back.

I have recently started grief counselling and I have found it useful. Initially I had thought it wasn’t for me, but in the end, I thought I would give it a try. The reason I didn’t want to do it was I couldn’t see why on earth you would make an appointment to be sad.

I think the truth of it is it will always be difficult and it has lessoned in time but I did kind of think I’d be firing on all cylinders and back to my juggling life capabilities. I still find I have multiple lists and I keep a day diary for work where I note down literally everything.

2 years since ds died by suicide. I will never get over it or indeed accept it. Some days I feel physically ill with it. But on the whole get on with life and try and find the joy.

It’s coming up 4 years since I lost my sister, I’ve lost 3 more family members since and some days am lost in a fog of grief, but those are becoming fewer and I’m feeling stronger.

I had this conversation with my friend recently. We both said that we are completely different people since we lost our husbands. I was with mine 42 years but she only had six years before she lost hers.

I lost my wife a year ago. She had cancer and we knew it would happen, but the manifestation of the end still caught us by surprise. In short order after that, I lost mother in law, dog and father in law.

I could burst into tears at a moment's notice pretty much the whole time. Sleep and I have fallen out. I go through the motions every day waiting for some joy or purpose to crop up. I am blindly hoping that it will one day. I have fabulous friends, and a good support group. Went to counselling for a while, but I don't think there is anything to reconcile as such, it just takes time. They say that time heals, but I think it just brings acceptance. Acceptance of the new normal I suppose.

We are all members of a club that none of us wanted to join. Big hugs to you all.

My Mum died in January and a close Aunt died at the beginning of August. I feel like I'm running on empty but more than meeting expectations at work. People don't understand the loss of a Mum and even with empathy, start to think that things should be back to normal. Still wake up seeing coffins being lowered into the ground. Need to arrange counselling but too much to do just now.

Thanks for this thread. I'm so sorry for all of our losses

I'm emerging from a year during which my DM died, DSib was diagnosed with advanced degenerative illness, DP had an intense emotional affair, DTeens in turmoil and work restructuring has meant big changes. I've lived grief, anticipatory grief, been lost in comparison, insecurity, jealousy, regret, over-functioning and to-the-bone exhaustion.

I have always loved my life although it's been nothing out of the ordinary, and felt blessed with small mercies and pleasures, but I'm limping along like a dried husk of my former self these days. So tired. I'd hoped for a bit of a 'reset' this summer, but feel like nothing quite touches the sides anymore. So I get by being useful to those I love while I wait for time to heal what therapy, self-care and long walks isn't, but like @HappiestSleeping I am wondering if acceptance is the new normal.