Mum died: appalling shock and anxiety

[Supersimkin7]

Hi all

My mum died suddenly last month. It was a blessing really, she had Parkinson’s and was in care.

I organised a lovely funeral which went well. But I’ve got the most appalling anxiety - scared of everything, can barely go out, sticking to smoothies cos eating is hard. Stuck in dark flat in the stinking heat, doing breathing exercises. GP doing referral, I’ve had a long history of anxiety.

I haven’t cried at all. Hoping it gets better.

So sorry to hear about your mum.

its very early days for you and good to hear your dr has referred you for some help.

take life one day at a time and dont forget your mum is still with you - she is a part of you and always will be.

best wishes xx

It's a huge shock, whether it's expected or not. Be kind to yourself, you're grieving a huge loss. I lost my Dad 3 years ago, and I'm still having odd days where it knocks me sideways.

What kept me sane was keeping to my routine. Apart from a few initial days, I carried on going to work (own business), walked my dogs and found long box sets on TV to half focus on. I had been seeing a bereavement counsellor anyway through the hospice where Dad died, and carried on with that for about 6 weeks afterwards. It helped massively.

I'm sorry for your loss

I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing your mum suddenly is bound to be a massive shock. You are obliged to function for a while, sorting out the funeral etc. but it catches up with you in the end, the grieving. It doesn’t always show up as floods of tears. There is literally no “normal” way to grieve.

Don’t feel obliged to tell yourself or other people that your mum’s death was a blessing - it may be that it’s a mercy she is no longer suffering, but it is not a blessing. You miss her, you’ve had no time to prepare, you just lost your mum. You don’t have to try to force yourself to look on the bright side.

I recommend the very early morning is a good time to try to tackle how you feel about everything. Don’t go beyond the doorway at first. Just open the door and let the fresh air in. Try to find a small patch of sky and focus on it, watch the clouds drift by and the colours change as the sun rises. Accept whatever thoughts come to you - good, bad, random, trivial, serious, silly. Maybe try a few yoga poses to help those breaths deepen and open you up, and to help you notice your body and your senses.

Im sorry Op , it is a tough time

Anxiety is part of grief thats rarely talked about.,

are you perimenopausal as well ?

it gets better i promise (((( hug)))

I’m menopausal and my thyroid had just shot too high, which didn’t improve things. It’s now stable.