I lost my lovely lovely Dad nearly 4 weeks ago. He was only mid 60’s. He had a heart attack and was gone before the ambulance even got there.
He was such a central part of our family and we all miss him so much. We are such a close family, we see each other every week, walks, dinner, coffee. He was always at the end of the phone. I’ve had a horrendous year (I separated from my Ex H). My Dad was always there. We were even going to move in with my parents when I sell the family home while I house hunt near them.
Work have been amazing. I had a week off then I’ve done part time hours. I’m supposed to be going back full time tomorrow, but I’m sat here absolutely terrified. I’m not sleeping, barely eating (I have no appetite), I have no energy.
I have 2 little girls who are missing their Grandad so much and don’t understand why he had to die (no matter how much I explain it). But just looking after them day to day, school runs, keeping the house clean and tidy, cooking dinners (on my own). I’m exhausted. I know I could probably get sleeping tablets but I worry I won’t hear the girls in the night, I’m here on my own with them.
When does it start to feel better? When will I stop just randomly bursting into tears. When will I be able to concentrate properly on work. When will I just be able to wake up and not feel like this.