His birthday is coming up

[lemons44]

My brother died last July from sudden death. He was 39. We still don't know why he died, he just did.

It's his birthday this weekend and I just feel sad. So sad. I keep wanting to look at birthday cards. This is the first one without him. I couldn't stop crying yesterday.

I'm not really sure what I want by posting this. Maybe to feel like I'm not alone.

How did you all get through that first birthday?

I'm so sorry OP for your loss, it must have hit you all so hard. You're not only dealing with grief but with the shock of it all and the unanswered question, why did it happen.
How about you do something to celebrate his life on his bday. A family gathering. Perhaps gather some photos together or make a memory book. It'll give you a focus.

Thank you for your kind words @Jurassicparkinajug

I'm having another very sad day but just trying to be kind to myself

I really like the idea of a photo album. Thank you.