Please help me to help my friend

[JackJacksmummy]

I posted a few weeks ago about my DDs biological father losing his 6 month old DD through a choking accident in March. I've become like a counsellor to him although i dont feel what i am saying helps in any way at all although he says it does. I dont know what he's going through because i have never been through it myself (and am very lucky not to).

I dont know what else i can do to help, He has not spoken to his ex-wife (the babys mother) about how he feels since he shut down to her and then said he blamed her - although i dont think he does deep down now.

Its awful, he's gone from a happy go lucky man to a queit shell of what he once was.

I dont know what to do

It's lovely you are there for him JackJM but maybe you are a bit too close-is he having any professional help?

A bereavement counsellor is so neutral he can let out any feelings of anger or blame he wants without it hurting anyone IYSWIM?

An awful situation for anyone-my heart goes out to him.

So sweet of you to be there too- sounds like he's really suffering poor chap.

yeah i do feel I'm getting a bit too involved -but he has no-one else he can talk to at the moment, He is due to see a counsellor in a few weeks apparently - i'm really hoping it helps him.

I've also given him the tcf website and it looks like he has joined the forum there although he says he feels he needs to deal with his problems himself and not lay them onto anyone else.

The child bereavement trust has a good website too. Although they seem to have changed their name to the child bereavement charity. They do both adults who have lost children and children who have lost adults or siblings.

www.childbereavement.org.uk/

Best wishes.