its a year on saturday since dd little man died and im finding it so hard

[hazygirl]

shes doing so well im so proud of her,id never lost anyone so close and never relised how hard it is, ive been there for her every day just had a weekend where we went away, but im finding it so hard at the moment holding everything together ,i work full time on nights ,3 nights and two full days , i go to work fine but live on ads now and dont seem to b getting any nearer off them, i dont go out any more unless someone is with me.and dont seem to even cook proper meals anymore,i know i should be glad i have a great family but i want out of this rutt,sorry i needed a rant sometimes i feel like you girls are the only ones i talk to i think bad day cos my grandaughter at hospital today for a check up x

ive been 3 times today,thought i would be first so i went at 9 this am ,but my dad was there very tearful, i hate seeing my dad like this and he bought flowers for him, he left after a bit then jaydens aunt and uncle came ,so we left, went back in afternoon and other grandparents there so bought the girls back with us, went back tnite with my youngest dd and spent time with him,got home and a work collegue texted to say she was with him ,so plenty have been and it looks so nice its been a hard day thoughx

gosh dd has been for day we swop computer and i have granddaughter its a good swop,and she has made a video of our little man and put my fav pics on ,its on montage or something and in memorials and starts with my dd big belly ,god he was so alive then i cant understand why he had to go ,i never will

oh hazygirl - you are right - your loss will never make sense because it doesn't make sense. You just have to get through - and you have done so well - look a year gone - This time last year could you have imagined living through it - but you have and your family is going on. The montage sounds lovely - enjoy looking at it and I will carry on praying for peace for you all

Oh hazygirl, I have just seen this.
Thinking of you.x

just woke up new granddaughter taken in to hospital as chesty and temperature please god i think she is ok im just sat here on my own and its all coming back, i spoke to dd and she said coni care back up plan is fantastic, please

hazygirl - Amelia (it is Amelia isn't it) is going to be fine. Lots and lots of babies are chesty at this time of year - bronchiolitis (sp?) is the most common cause of hospital admission in little babies. Are you ok - can someone come and be with you? Would you like me to put a link to this thread on the Mnet prayer thread? Lots of good people there who will be happy to pray for you and yours.

my dd is here now and my dp came home ,the girls have gone home with their mum, baby and daddy staying at hospital tonite as my dd wanted to c her girls too

Hi Hazygirl - how are things today?

It's ok - I just spotted your thread in gransnet - great she's home