My auntie died on Tuesday night

[JellyNump]

We saw her on Sunday for lunch and tea. She text Mum on Monday night to say she had been sick and wasn't sure if she could have DD on Tuesday. She text Me & Mum Tues to say she was still sick. Mum took Tues off to look after DD and I was off Weds anyway. I text her Tuesday night/Wednesday morning to say hope you get well soon but heard nothing back. Mum text and got nothing, and also called her landline. Mum & Dad went up about half 6 to her house and tried the door but got no answer, but there was a light on in the bathroom so thought she may have been in the bath or shower. Mum tried calling again at 7:15 and again at 7:30, but still no reply, so they went back to her house and still got no answer, they tried a neighbour who said she hadn't seen or heard her but it wasn't unusual. They called the police who broke in and found her dead on her bathroom floor! I'm so shocked by it, there was nothing wrong with er, she was only 65. All she had was glaucoma and had been for a pre op to have a cataract removed. She also looked after DD on a Tues/Weds/Thurs while both me and Mum are at work! I'm upset by her death and also worried now too about getting DD looked after. She is 20 months old.

So sorry for your loss.

Child care worries?

am sorry fo r your lossxx

My god how sad

{{{hugs}}} and what a horrible shock for you all.

Sorry for your loss

What a dreadful shock for you all

Yes child care worries cos she had DD for me when me & mum are at work

Were you close? Its just you seem more upset about child care? Sorry if thats sounds horrible but i just think if my aunt suddenly died child care wouldn't be my first worry

Thanks for pointing that out, yes it does sound horrible. Perhaps you may in future 'think it' but not perhaps actually 'say it'? I've noticed pretty much everyone else who has commented has managed.

OF COURSE I AM UPSET, she was my aunt and YES we were very close, she helped me a lot after my DS died at 9 weeks, because she had worked as a nurse in the childrens hospital here and dealt with babies/children dying etc. The fact that she looked after DD for me, as I am a single parent and have to work full time in order to live does add the slightest bit of worry to an already horrible situation as I am not in the habit of leaving her alone at 20 months.

You don't have to jump down my throat. I only asked as thats how it came across. I have no idea of your history but i'm sorry to hear of your losses. I'm also sorry for offending you. I seem to upset everyone at the moment.

I hope that things get better for you.

You don't have to jump down my throat. I only asked as thats how it came across. I have no idea of your history but i'm sorry to hear of your losses. I'm also sorry for offending you. I seem to upset everyone at the moment.

I hope that things get better for you.

I'm going to bed now. But i really feel terrible i'm sorry

So sorry for your loss.x

Jelly, I'm very sorry to hear this. What an enormous shock for everyone

But as you mentioned childcare in your OP, I think it would be practical to discuss that. I think, at least in the short term, that you should consider leaving your job and claiming whatever benefits you are entitled to.

I don't see that your poor Aunt's untimely death has left you with much option.

I hope that both you and your mum are OK. I would assume that Aunty will have a postmortem?

I'm so sorry

Sorry for your loss

so sorry for your loss x

Yes there will be a post mortem at some point although no news on that at the moment. I can claim some sort of child care benefits I think yes and luckily I think I may now have it covered but its not going to be easy. I did think about leaving work, but thats hard too cos we're just ok on what I earn and with the working tax credits I get, it tops it all up.

How about if you did ten hours a week and claim income support to as well as the other bits?

I think i'm better off on 30 hours + with working tax credit

Mum & Dad both work in benefits and we worked it all out. I may have to tho if worst comes to worst

Good that your parents are able to talk through other options. What about the voucher things to help towards child care? Does your work do them?

I have no idea, they may do. I think i'm sorted tho now. A friend of mine is a nanny and said it would be ok for DD to go to her as DD knows the little girl she looks after anyway from playing together etc. Its just not the same and as flexible as my aunt had been, plus she had been in the childrens hospital for 40 years + and even been the hospital director, so she was also a fantastic source of information if there were any 'worries' when DS and DD have been ill.

One 'comfort' though is that I'm hoping she will go to look after DS for me along with my gran and gran's DS that she miscarried at 5 months.

She's already doing so. She'll be caring for him until you're all re united.

Glad that your cc maybe sorted.

We found out my auntie died from a sudden heart attack and something in the heart 'burst', i'm not sure the exact details, and had furred up arteries. She had been for a pre op as she was due to go into hospital for an eye op and they found nothing, aslso she swam every week and ate her 5 portions of fruit and veg, if not more, per day! She never smoked or drank in her life, its really weird.