friend has lost 5th baby.advice

[moljam]

i know i cant do anything but would a gift be silly idea just to show im thinking of her?we dont live near by so only in contact by phone so i feel awful that i cant do anything or be with her.
apparently she had made it to 11 weeks this time and had lots of bleeding,scan today showed she miscarried but nothing came away as she excepted it had so she needs op again.

Just a card or flowers would let her know you care...

for your friend - and what a good friend! ... I know that when I lost my babies, I found that a nice card (not a caption one, just a nice arty card) with a note from a friend just saying that they were thinking of me was enough - made me feel less isolated! ... no gift necessary

ok thankyou,i'll buy a card.sorry to you too.im crap and never know what to say.

yes, nice card, no corny printed messages inside, just a pretty card and write a lovely message from yourself saying you are thinking of her and if there's anything you can do to help etc.

And don't put 'you know where I am when you want to talk', or similar. Phone her yourself and talk to her. She won't answer the phone if she doesn't want to talk but too many people put 'let me know when you're ready to talk' or things like that because they are avoiding the situation and are scared to ring the person. Even if she doesn't answer to start with, keep ringing and leaving messages regularly, it will help.