Help for recently widowed DM.....I'm working long hours in my new job wwyd

[whatisforteamum]

I posted in AIBU but can't copy and paste.
Long story short DM was married 52 years today and its her birthday.My two CSIS.and two dB's have little to do with her.Dad was her life he did everything and all finances.
She started off well and I did what I could.Xmas I worked all of it doing 55/60 hour weeks now covering annual leave too.
My dh helps her whenever he can...trips to garden centre shopping etc fixing things.
The thing is DM has never been an easy person and recently she scattered dfs ashes then sent a pic saying this is where dad is on Facebook!!!
Normally she has the best manners so this was a shock.CSIS and both dB's barely see her.
I do but I'm stretched timewise and have found work a huge help with the grieving process.
How do I help DM while not making myself I'll in the process.she just ranted no one offered her a lift to dads service when she told us she was going alone in a black hire car!!...we took her on the day.HELP

Anyone?

Hi its been five mons and a rough time for her without heating on and off as it was repaired then appeared it wasn't to a small fortune to repair.Delays in df s pension and general I'll health with unhealing leg ulcers that are on the mend now.
I know she hasn't always played fairly but I worry about her so much.I guess I was in a bubble by working 12 hour plus days so the phone calls she didn't seem so bad..Daddid so much from shopping to cooking sometimes gardening etc an all round fixer.!!
Guess I caught her T a low point on her wedding anniversary.Already promised her a trip to he garden centre Fri.:)