Mum's first birthday coming up

[daiseehope]

Hello everyone
I would be really grateful for any suggestions please for ideas. My DM died last year and her birthday is coming up. As soon as September turned I started feeling "it" again, like new. I think it's because it's her birthday so I need to do something for her. I have limited funds but would spend if needed. How have others celebrated a birthday? Hope this is the right thread and thanks xx

Now's a great time to plant trees. How about a living memorial to your mum which would also give others pleasure too?

You can't plant a tree every year but what you could do is buy a special bouquet of flowers 'for her',

Baking a cake to eat on her birthday and raising a toast to her would be a lovely easy-to-maintain tradition.

I buy a special candle and light it in the evening on each special occasion.

Mum's birthday was 17th August, the anniversary of Dad's death was 28th August and then this month I have the anniversary of Mum's death on the 24th and Dad's birthday on the 27th. It's an emotional couple of months unfortunately.

I light my candle and watch it burn for a while, just remembering & possibly shedding a quiet tear or two. It may sound morbid to some but I find it strangely calming.

I also have a special candle I light for them over Christmas & New Year and each has a memorial tree at a special place which I visit a few times a year. Neither has a headstone or similar though, as their ashes were scattered so I consider the trees as 'headstone equivalents'.

The first of everything is the hardest too, it will be three years this year since Mum died and it is still raw and painful but I have to say that the first Christmas, the first birthday etc. are the worst.

In short, do whatever you feel in your heart is the right thing to do. And be kind to yourself .

I don't know if this will be a helpful suggestion as you want to do something especially for your your mum rather than celebrate, but we celebrated my DHs first birthday after he'd gone by having his favourite take away for dinner that night and we still had birthday cake complete with candles. The take away was one that I don't particularly like and only ever had because he liked it, so it did feel like it was very much for him. It was nice for the children to remember him in a nice way rather than in a 'he's gone and that's horrible' type way, and it prompted conversations of happy memories of him.

Thanks so much for your ideas. A cake is a certainty as she loved cake! I love trees and a Take aways a good idea as the kids might like that. I think I'm most worried about my Dad. Worst thing is I keep remembering Mum's last birthday which was rubbish as by that point her Non Hodgkins had kicked in. Thanks xxxxxx